Splash News Photo Agency, aka the paparazzi, made ‘Jesus Martinez’ of DrunkenStepfather.com remove photos of Maggie Gyllenhaal breastfeeding that he posted yesterday. 

It’s funny, photos are always available on different celebrity forums the next day, so I don’t see why the paps are going after the bloggers instead of the many celebrity forums, where anyone has access to the photos..

Anyhow, here is Jesus’ most snide response to the paps. I thought it was funny and I had to share.

Jesus is always good for a laugh…if you’re not a prude.

Clare,

Thanks for the lovely email. I figure before getting down to business we should take the time to get to know each other. I usually like dealing with people who I’ve seen naked, I feel like it leaves little on the table to get in the way of getting things done. You know I won’t be wondering how your parts "hang" while you’re talking to me….

Ok, Now down to business, attached you will find an invoice for the $25,000 clicks I have sent your site at a rate of $5 per click.

You can either pay me the $125,000 in credits to use your pictures, or you can always send  a check to my mailing address.

Thanks Sweetheart.

Oh and PS -
I take personal offense to the mis-use of the word Unauthorised, how the f*ck to do you expect me to take you seriously when you make typos like a f*cking clown.

I also take personal f*cking offense to you trying to take me down and you trying to f*ck with my content that I work hard at writing. Your threats of legal action piss me the f*ck off.
I don’t make money off my f*cking site and I don’t have money to fight you. But let’s face it the real f*cking criminal in this whole situation is the psycho stalker hiding in the f*cking bushes snappin’ off pics of this bitch and her baby and not the personal blogger writing about big milk filled titties set to those pictures.

That said, I’ll have the pictures down before you can spell unauthorised correctly, which may be a f*cking while.