Check out Harry the Dancing Pubic Hair!

Harry claims to belong to an A-list celebrity, who may be determined through a DNA test shortly. Heh.

“Just hours before the release of a prepared statement from Harry and his longtime publicist, Jerry Kurle, a source deep inside the tangled Harry camp – on the condition of anonymity – has also revealed that the female celebrity in question can be narrowed down to a short list said to include troubled teen Lindsay Lohan, troubled heiress Paris Hilton, troubled music personality Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham, troubled single mom Brittney Spears, or maybe Ashton Kutcher. The source went on to say that hair-based DNA tests recently conducted at the Mega-follicle’s request have confirmed the exact celebrity genetic origin of Harry, who is also willing to undergo a polygraph test to prove the veracity of his claim.”