* The Teen Choice Awards was last night and it was packed full of jail bait, whores…and Larry Birkhead? Best part of the night was when a large, heavy decorative box fell from the ceiling of the VIP tent and knocked a Hollywood publicist unconscious! Click here for the list of winners.

* Britney Spears is being investigated by LA County’s Department of Children and Family Services for possible child abuse. She is also being investigated by the SPCA for possible neglect/abuse of her small dog who was seen recently with a cast on it’s leg. Rumors were swirling that her boys toss the dog around a bit and people by the dozens called in to complain. In other related news, Spears was pulled over for speeding this weekend while driving to Las Vegas. SWhat an exciting life this dumb broad has..

* For some kinky news, Star Jones and Gay Al are still pretending they are in love, Sarah Harding of Girls Aloud had a major wardrobe malfunction involving both boobies this weekend, Jennifer Aniston bent over in a tiny bikini while surfing, and Jessica Simpson wore a painted on white tank top.