Because Gallery of the Absurd is the shnizzle (GOTA)

Pam Anderson with tiny bikini and tig ol’ bitties (DSF)

Eulogy for Ewan McGregor’s mole (ABH)

Does this video show Diddy buying drugs? (DS)

Jessica Simpson at LAX (DSF)

See Kat Von D’s tats (CR)

Ice-T’s babe Coco showing some more big ol’ ass (HR)

Brad Pitt thinks aging sucks (TB)

Hilary Duff does Montreal (DSF)

Meet the transsexual actress who will be appearing on Grey’s Anatomy (RC)

The National Enquirer photochopped Angelina Jolie on their cover this week (PB)

Top Ten Best Opening Lyrics Ever (JRTT)

Paris Hilton is preparing to get knocked up (DH)

Some ho who wishes she was Carmen Electra (JIYH)

Pamela Anderson and her tig ol’ bitties in a bikini (DSF)

Who’s Drew Barrymore dating this week? (GH)

Brad Pitt’s new tat (DL)

Elton John and Madge end their cat fight, that sucks (Y!)

Hooray for Harriet Carter Wednesday! (IBBB)

Kate Moss is a groupie (ND)

Jamie Foxx acts a diva…again (HC)

Today’s Celebrity Dirt (JB)

Christina Aguilera looks thrilled (HBW)

Video of Amy Winehouse performing her new single (CWS)

Kelly Clarkson is back on tour (POTP)

Leona Helmsley’s dog is getting sued, you knew this was going to happen.. (GW)

Demi Moore looking amazing (CDL)

Accident victim’s mother defends Nick Hogan (HO)

Nicole Kidman was secretly engaged after divorcing Tom Cruise (GOT)

Paul McCartney must be the Viagra King! (GB)

Of course she can’t dress, she’s high! (BS)

Criss Angel is using Britney Spears for publicity because he sucks and needs it (EBG)

Jude Law arrested for kicking the paps ass (ASL)

50 Cent vs. Kanye West Rolling Stone cover (Bossip)

For those that actually give a crap about Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag (AIW)

A fresh faced Rihanna (DS)

Jessica Biel has junk in that trunk (FNC)

Student? Check out this site (UGIF)

Get $30 off $250 when buying at Overstock.com! (CC)