Blake Fielder-Civil is petrified of learning that his wife, singing sensation Amy Winehouse, has died due to her astonishing drug habit.

Civil, who is currently in jail awaiting trial, must have sobered up long enough to dish on he and Amy’s destructive behavior together.

He said, “Every day I fear the prison chaplain is going to walk into my cell and break the news that Amy is dead.”

Blake adds that he and Amy became “like the Living Dead” while spending around $1,000 a day on heroin and cocaine. He says that Amy is still doing loads of drugs, even before showing up to court, or before visiting him in jail. He stated that she sometimes falls asleep during her visits because she is so loaded.

Blake claims he is clean now and is ready to help Amy kick drugs as well.

“I want Amy to grab this opportunity in rehab so we can have a marriage and future together. Because the way she’s going I really fear I will come out of prison to no wife. I dread my cell door being opened and the chaplain informing me, ‘Amy’s dead.’ I have that nightmare three or four times a week. If I was on the outside I know I could save her, but locked in here I can’t do anything.”

“Drugs made me like a zombie. I was also selfish, self-centered and cruel-tongued. Amy also became a zombie. She was docile, sleeping all the time, because of the drugs. We were like the Living Dead. But I have experienced a long period of being drug-free in prison and I want to win back the loving, happy woman I married before our lives were destroyed by drugs.”

“We started on recreational drugs like marijuana and thought we were both in control. But after we married our drug-taking increased and accelerated with harder drugs. We took cocaine, heroin and smoked crack together. Crack made me paranoid. I felt unloved and felt everybody was out to get me.

“We then got into self-harm to relieve the pain. It’s a childish thing we did. One would say, ‘I’m hurt’ and the other would reply, ‘No you’re not. I’m hurt more.’ It was a ridiculous situation and I haven’t self-harmed at all since I’ve been in prison.”

“We were spending £500 a day on drugs and were taking cocaine, heroin-and yes, crack-together. It’s a lot of money. A lot of waste. We were killing ourselves and Amy has definitely got worse since I’ve been inside. Prison has saved me. But if Amy goes back on crack again I will be lucky if my wife’s alive in three months.”

Source

Stumble it!