From Crazy Days & Nights:

• You definitely go to rehab when your addiction costs you your baby.

• On Friday night this star pro football player was not recognized by any of the women he was hitting on, and so on Saturday night he brought a stack of trading cards and offered to autograph them for women when he gave them one. This time it worked and he got some action. Too bad he left his wife home. I’m sure she would have understood. OK, OK, he is a quarterback. That is all you are getting.

• You would think after the 2nd or 3rd abortion he has paid for, this B+/A- cable television actor would stop using the line that he is sterile to women just so he doesn’t have to use a condom.

From Page Six:

• Which former teen television star was too blitzed to hold it in and peed his pants at The House of Hennessy inside Tao in Scottsdale over Super Bowl weekend?

• Which small screen starlet can’t seem to get her fill of trees? The romantically challenged actress was uncharacteristically tuckered out when she showed up to a recent red carpet event absolutely reeking of marijuana.