Do you FARK? – F

* * *10 horror flicks that have really done the deed – ABH

Keely Hazell topless Halloween costume – DSF

David Beckham is a straight gay man for Halloween – HM

Loaded magazine’s monthly hottie – UMC

Kendra Wilkinson’s Halloween costume – BST

The Bride of McCain – CR

Lance Bass’ lazy Halloween costume – WB

Who doesn’t love Grover? – BBB

Shauna Sand is herself for Halloween – TB

Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon’s Halloween costumes – A!

GnR’s ‘Chinese Democracy’ album cover – BS

Heidi and Spencer’s Halloween costumes – CK

Best horror movie list ever – CW

Don’t fear the rocker – spooky smashup! – PB

McCain to host SNL this weekend? – CR

Teacher plays a stripper for Halloween – POP

Kevin Smith is fat for Halloween – GB

Kim Kardashian makes a great Wonder Woman – CDL

The Today Show’s Halloween costumes – BB

Shame on whoever did this on the set of General Hospital! – GW

12-year-old boys offer to give women free breast exams – CCS

This guy is doing Ivanka – RC

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Congrats to Laura from Mayville, TN! She won Lee Ann Womack’s ‘Call Me Crazy’ CD!
*Coming this weekend: Another Johnny Cash giveaway!
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Two very different versions of the Monster Mash, one classic, one punk rock!

There are dozens of celebrities who are giving it their all in a surgical attempt to enhance themselves.

Whether they are seeking to appear younger by injecting a good portion of their face with botox, or changing their overall appearance by inserting facial implants, one thing is for certain. Many of them cross the line that goes from gorgeous to simply grotesque.

Celebrity Smack has compiled a spooky list of the top 10 celebrities who don’t need a Halloween mask, because they are a fright of a sight without one!

10. Wayne Newton

With his jet black hair, chiclet teeth and stretched tight skin, Wayne looks like a cross between frightful fat Elvis and an eerie Liberace.

9. Lil’ Kim

Lil’ Kim got more than just a lil’ work done. This ghastly rapper has had everything under the full-moon done. From her nose to her cheeks to her chest. Not a ghoul you’d want to run into in a dark alley.

8. Priscilla Presley

Priscilla is the Queen when it comes to cosmetic surgery. But after a fake doctor injected her face with an industrial strength low-grade silicone, similar to what’s used to lubricate auto parts in Argentina, the once radiant beauty looks more like an egg-headed mannequin.

7. Mickey Rourke

Mr. Rourke was a handsome A-lister, once upon a time. However, these days he looks more like a witch who was partially burned at the stake with his lumpy complexion and missing eyelids.

6. Pete Burns

You might know Pete as the former lead singer if the 80s band, Dead or Alive. The transgendered musician had a horrible experience when a doctor attempted to remove his lip implants and instead mutilated his lips until they almost needed to be cut off. No trick here, folks.

5. Joan Van Ark

Joan spent way too much money to end up looking like this. Most people have their lips inflated, but it looks like in the process of ‘beautifying’ herself, she ended up losing hers. I think the reason Joan’s eyebrows are a weird color is that her original ones are now located on the back of her head, leaving her to have to draw fake ones on with a brown Sharpie.

4. Joan Rivers

Can we talk…about this woman who always looks like she just saw a ghost? Joan is proud of her well preserved corpse-like body, and this mummy’s daughter will probably follow in her footsteps.

3. Michael Jackson

Wacko Jacko is always good for a bad plastic surgery countdown. Looking like a Vampire sucked and drained his blood, Michael has a pale complexion, a mutilated nose and a bizarre feminine-elf face.

2. Jocelyn Wildenstein

This is the world renowned Cat Woman who decided one day that in order to keep her wealthy, cheating, cat-loving husband Alec, that she would have her face reconstructed to appear more feline. Upon seeing his wife with her new cat-like features, Alec was said to have screamed and shortly after asked for a divorce. ‘The Bride of Wildenstein’ is 68 years old.

1. Donatella Versace

We’re not sure if it’s the surgery or the cocaine that ruined Donatella’s face, but regardless of the reason, it’s a scream! The protruding lower lip and caved in sinuses helped us to crown this fashion designer as our number one scariest celebrity mug of the year!

Happy Halloween, Smackaholics!

Press Release: Top 10 Celebrities That Don’t Need a Mask This Halloween

Who knew Corey Haim could find someone who would love him for who he is. A washed-up junkie who just can’t seem to get it together.

Tiffany Shepis, a B-list (at best) horror actress, met Haim twelve years ago on the set of “Fever Lake.” The couple were reunited at a horror movie convention recently. They have announced that they plan to marry next year. If they make it that long..

Haim’s official web site reads, “A big mazal tov goes out to Corey — he is getting married!! The lovely lady is Tiffany Shepis! The wedding has been set for May 9, 2009!”

As for the lovely lady’s website, it’s a fantasy site where she promises to make your wildest dreams come true, via a personal photoshoot tailored to fit your whacked-out fetishes.

It reads, “Now you can have total control over your very own photoset. You decide what I wear and how I pose… Innocent, sultry, coy… whatever your taste!”

Buckle your seats ladies and gentlemen, I feel a hell of a trainwreck coming on.

Those who have PVC fetishes are loving all the rubber leggings running around Hollywood right now! – DSF

Alessandra Ambrosio’s hottest pics ever – UMC

Guess where Hayden Panettiere’s new tattoo is! – BST

Nicolas Cage used to be cool and now he’s a pompous ass, so I don’t feel so bad that he might be hurting for cash – HM

Larry Birkhead and Dannielynn move out of Anna Nicole’s mansion – PB

Olsen Twins boob jobs? – ABH

Nicole Kidman’s face is all effed up – Y!

Hudson family private memorial for murder victims set for Monday – POP

Barack Obama on The Daily Show – EB

ANTM recap – BBB

More pics of Gwen Stefani’s baby, Zuma – PT

16-year-old trailer trash bride gets hitched in super expensive/taky gown – CK

Katie Holmes sans makeup – TB

People still make moonshine?! – BS

Can you tell what Avril Lavigne’s costume is? – DSF

Linda Hogan and her boy toy – WB

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[Video] Tricking it to the Streets – Halloween spoof of The Doobie Brothers’ Taking it to the Streets. Wicked impression, Count!

Ice-T’s rump of smooth skin wife, Coco, wants everyone to know that she wins the Halloween attention whore of the year award.

At last night’s premiere of Soul Men, Coco could not wait to let everyone know that she will be naked for this extra special holiday.

“It’s my day! I get to get naked! Finally!”

I know, finally, right? Pfft..c’mon, we’ve all see it, sweetheart.

Ice-T is so proud of his exhibitionist weeble wife. He loves that she loves getting guys all worked up and flaunts herself in their faces.

Last night was no exception.

He boasted, “You know, a lot of people comment, but some chicks like to be wild. You come home and they’re standing on the couch and they want to jump at you and tackle you. Coco’s one of them girls.”

Well, grandpa has to have something to keep him young..

[NYM]

Although both he and his mother claim he had no part in the brutal slayings of Jennifer Hudson’s family last week, William ‘Flex’ Balfour will not take a lie detector test.

According to the AP, an anonymous police official says that Balfour was cooperating with police up until he was asked to take a polygraph test.

Balfour still has not been charged with the killings of Hudson’s mother, Darnell Donerson, 57, brother, Jason Hudson, 29, and nephew, Julian King, 7, who were all shot to death.

Yesterday a gun was found in some bushes in a vacant lot near where the white SUV was discovered. Police believe it may be the gun used in the murders.

The anonymous official told the AP that police do not believe anyone else was involved in the killings, despite reports stating otherwise.

The source added that someone else may have driven and dropped off the SUV, but that Balfour is “the only suspect in the killings (and there is) nothing to link a second individual” to the crime.

A police spokeswoman declined to comment on the official’s statements.

Balfour is a felon with a prior record of attempted murder, and was busted with cocaine last June.

For fear of breaking local obscenity laws, Janet Jackson decided not to perform a risque dance routine at her Michigan concert.

The segment of her performance included her inviting a male audience member onstage, tying him up and fondling him as her backup dancers stroked themselves.

Hopefully she doesn’t wear her goofy ass C3PO outfit during that segment. It would kind of kill it, ya know? Such a nasty little fattie! Heh.

Michigan’s decency laws are quite strict and prohibit simulating sex acts during a public performance.

A rep for the show said, “We explained the law, asked her not to do it, she complied. We did not ask her to cut the song. That was her call.”

Jackson’s manager commented, “Janet did not want to disappoint her Detroit-area fans again, so we adhered to Michigan’s state ordinance and trimmed the Discipline segment of the show so it would not be cancelled.”

[WENN]

“I hadn’t eaten all day, and I was starving. They were coming around with this bowl of brownies, and I grabbed three of them and just started scarfing them down….every lyric sounded like it was the Cookie Monster yelling in my ear, and I started feeling really sh*tty, but I had to play through the set. I couldn’t just go up to Puffy and say, ‘Sorry, I ate a [bleep]-load of hash brownies, I can’t do your White Party.’ “

- Mark Ronson chowed on pot brownies at P. Diddy’s White Party, without knowing they were laced…riiight.

[NYP]