Mary-Kate Olsen and her publicist are staunchly denying that the pint sized star is pregnant.

“Mary-Kate is absolutely not pregnant.”

I knew it couldn’t be true. The only thing The Enquirer had to go on was that Mary-Kate had (supposedly) gained a little weight. Well then she MUST be knocked up, right?!

Bitch, please.

Women, we all know that gaining a little weight does not equal a freaking baby bump. Thank gawd.

Not that they would tell us if the little party troll was expecting anyway. I mean, omg, Nicole Richie actually got pregnant and we never thought that would happen – who knew it was even physically possible!