Melissa and Joan Rivers: Someone Cut the Umbilical Cord Already!



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Joan and Melissa Rivers, what two spoiled, rude, whiny bitches!

Last night on Celebrity Apprentice Melissa Rivers was fired by Donald Trump, and just as I told my husband, if one of the Rivers women gets fired, the other one will have a complete meltdown and leave as well. And that’s exactly what happened.

Melissa bitched and moaned throughout the “Right Guard” task, playing the victim and accusing her teammates, Annie Duke and Brande Roderrick, of being out to get her when really, it was all in her head. (Although I am sure they though she was annoying as f*@#!)

Melissa is obviously insecure when Mommy isn’t around and doesn’t know how to function without her. Joan is her security blanket and is normally there to constantly praise her. Without her mother’s tit to nurse on, Melissa feels inadequate, unsure and thinks that the world is out to get her. She wants so badly to be recognized for what she can do, but when stripped of her mother’s company and support, she fails. Instead of proving herself, she is suspicious, accusing and insecure. Gee, no wonder everyone thinks without mommy she’d be nothing.

Not to mention the fact that I think Melissa’s face and voice are like scratching fingernails down a chalkboard. Her voice is so nasally, I mean, did they close up her sinuses when they did her nose?

It’s no wonder that Melissa is 41 and single. She was married once, back in 2000, to a horse breeder. Nevermind that bitch LOOKS like a horse! They had a kid and within a few years her husband realized that he could never compete with mommy so off went the divorce. What man could EVER stand to be with her? I mean, if you marry her, it’s like a package deal! Mommy comes with!

Anyhow, I wonder if Joan will return to Celebrity Apprentice?

Of course she will. I don’t know this to be a fact, but just look at her track record. She has thrown more than one tantrum on the show, threatening not to come back. And every single time she has come back. Drama queens do this sort of thing on a regular basis you know.

Cut the cord, bitches. After 41 years, it’s about time you do.

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Watch Joan and Melissa FREAK out after Melissa is fired, it’s hysterical really..

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Posted on: Joan Rivers, Melissa Rivers, Reality TV Shows
  • http://www.hilaryshepherd.com/rantsnraves HilaryShepherd

    Couldn’t have said it better myself! I was busting up when Melissa started throwing her tantrum like a little kid after she had spent the whole episode complaining about how “high school” Annie and Brande were.

    Why do you think Trump ultimately fired Melissa? Do you really think it had to do with her lack of fund raising? I want to know what that note said!

  • stuk2it

    couldnt agree more. 1, where does melissa get off, shes not even a celebrity, and she acts like she boasts an entetainment resume like her mother. 2, if u’ve ever seen the show u know people get eliminated (singly mind u, not in pairs in most cases), so dont go ballistic when someone u like, (or ur dughter in this case goes home). 3, i love joan, and still do, the woman has done amazing things in entertainment her whole life, she admits to and jokes about her surgeries, the list goes on and on, but some of the language she used in the last few episodes was just insane, the hitler comparison, and calling people nazis, WOW!, unreal., or to lump the whole prop poker world together with annie, just dumb., burning bridges and making enemies for no reason. lastly, its a game, and its a game to benefit charities, so its for good, grant it last night the producers were licking their chops while getting the drama on tape, but damn ladies keep it in perspective., and yes melissa, do yourself a favor grow up, stop living in mommies shadow, do something for yourself, and quit being such a whiny self-important bitch cuz if ur mom (god forbid) had died 20 years ago, lets face it u’d b lucky to be serving starbucks to celebrtities on sunset.

  • Prissy Chick

    I agree that there is an umbilical cord between Joan and Melissa, but Annie Duke is a manipulating, lying conniving bitch! Brande will be thrown under the bus by her next week.

  • http://celebritysmackblog.com Spicy

    Prissy: I disagree with you. I think Annie Duke KNOWS how to play a good game, and well, isn’t that what she is doing here? She is in a competition! Good for her. I bet she wins.

  • Carmen

    Love Annie and Brande, they are awesome…I wish them luck.
    Either one deserve to be apprentice

  • Dennis

    Two annoying fools, mother and daughter. Like infants, temper tantrum and all. It’s either their way or nothing else. Not to mention, ugly as hell. Glad they are off the show.

  • Lynda

    I agree with EVERYONE!!!……Watching Melissa and Joan whine, bitch and moan just about made me sick to my stomach!…..I used to think they were cool, but after their little “Whine Fest”, my opinion of both of them is S*hit!!!!……………..And Joan’s attitude made such an impact on me that I’ll NEVER buy anymore of her jewelry on QVC again!!…..BOTH OF THEM SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES!!!….Both of them made that bitch Amarosa look pretty good, and that isn’t an easy thing to do!!!!

  • Lynda

    And one other thing. Did you all see the way Joan poo-pooed Annie for being a poker player?????Like that is akin to being a prositute!!!!!…..I believe she even called her white trash!!!…..Joan really is a piece of crap.

  • micheller71577

    I can’t stand m rivers, don’t mind j rivers, but I detest, and have detested annie from episode #1!! As far as the rivers ladies, well great job on the drama display, I mean isn’t that what we tune in each week to see?? Give them a break! it did its job, it entertained us! Lol! I can’t wait to see annie get fired! Clint as well! In the end I want j james fine outlaw ass to take the whole thing!!

  • andy

    i knew melissa x husband was a horse breeder but what did he do for a living?












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