I’m pretty sure this has no redeeming news value whatsoever, but I know there is a legion of sick and obsessed Twilight fans out there, so don’t say The Kidd never gave you anything.

A new copy of New Moon has been released to take advantage of the fact that these stupid teenage girls will buy up anything with the Twilight name, even if they already have it, as this new version contains no new chapters, no new characters, and nothing special other than a new cover featuring actors from the movies.

So, if you’re a Twilight fan who actually enjoyed the books, I’m sure just their presence on the front of this novel is bound to make it suck, since the first movie was pure awful. And, if you’re a Twilight fan who actually enjoyed the movies, well, I’ve been told it’s not nice to make fun of retards. Fun, a little… nice, apparently not.

Let the wrath of the teenage girls begin. What do I care? They’re all underage anyway, so they serve me no purpose.