Josh Duhamel Missed His Chance To Hit Perez Hilton

Since it is impossible to avoid the fact that TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN is in theatres as of this week, Josh Duhamel appeared on JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE! the other night, because, without promotion like this, there is no way people would show up to see giant robots fight other giant robots while other stuff blows up and… oh, yeah… did I mention Megan Fox?

While on the show, Jimmy Kimmel asked Mr. Fergie about the recent incident between Will.I.am and Perez Hilton, which, according to reports, was sparked by Hilton’s less-than-kind words directed at Fergie, where he called her “fugly.”

“He goes a little below the belt, and when you poke somebody in the chest enough and when you call them enough names, I think it’s good to get your nose bloody… I kind of wish it was me.”

Yeah, well, Josh Duhamel, let me tell you what I wish for… I wish for a naked chick on a unicorn to ride into my bedroom every morning with a plate overflowing with bacon. Oh, how does that relate to you…? It doesn’t… but, now that you mention it, I wish your new movie didn’t suck so much, rendering 2-and-a-half hours of my life gone, wasted away forever. Mmmm… bacon.

Anyway, the lesson here is that you can’t always get what you want… or when you wish upon a star, your dreams come true… or one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. Words to live by, my friends… words to live by.