Big Brother 11 finale live blogging with me, Spicy.

I’ll be posting and updating LIVE as Big Brother 11’s finale airs on CBS, 9:00 PST.

I turned off the comments so that no right coasters can accidentally (or intentionally) spoil anything before us left coasters see it.

Who will win Big Brother 11? Jordan, Kevin or Natalie? Will Big Brother throw another wrench into the mix before the jury is allowed to vote? Check back here for up to the minute updates on the finale of the greatest reality show ever!

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Woohoo! Love this freaking show. Here we go, kids!

9:01: Did I just see a sign that says “Russell Rules”? Russell drools!

9:05: Recap of the season…

9:08: Not digging Julie’s outfit, but Natalie looks better than I have ever seen her. She actually showered.

9:10: Natalie grasping for straws, thinking she might still have a shot. Pfft!

9:11: Duh Natalie, of course Kevin wouldn’t take you. “Hope I can trust you” she tells Kevin. I can’t wait for the backstabber to be stabbed. Omg, Jordan just said even though she is telling Kevin she is going to take him to the end, she tells the DR that she wants to take Natalie! Gasp!

9:14: Natalie kissing Jordan’s ass.

9:16: Kevin telling Natalie that he doesn’t think he can win.

9:17: Evil Dick is in the audience. Didn’t see anyone next to him that I recognized. Why do I find him kinda hot – in a dirty rockstar kind of way? And no, I can’t stand Danielle. She’s probably there though. :p

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9:21: Julie needs a wizard hat and wand..

9:22: Kevin says Big Brother gave him more self confidence. Natalie says she will miss all the people, despite of the ups and downs. Jordan says the BB experience taught her to be independent and patient. She say she “feels like and adult now.” There are so many jokes you can insert here..

9:23: Jeff shirtless…meeeooooowww!!

9:24: Michelle coming into the jury house. Jesse screaming, “YES!” at the top of his lungs like the prick he is. Has some weird sh*t tied around his biceps. Sheesh.

9:26: Michelle says that Natalie is the biggest trickster in the house despite claiming to play the game clean.

9:27: Houseguests disgusted by Natalie’s crown and robe as they watch last week’s eviction. Jeff says he won’t vote for Natalie just because of the Queen outfit. I love Jeff.

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9:32: BB cams zoom in on Natalie’s boyfriend. Dorkasaurus.

9:33: Jury house talking. Lydia’s feathers are distracting. But not as distracting as Jessie’s facial hair.

9:34: Michelle and that damn yellow dress. Me no likey. Jeff convincing jury that Jordan played a good game. Russell points out that Jordan’s sticking with Jeff was what got her that far. Lydia also points out that Jeff handed her an HOH. Good point.

9:36: Jeff getting into it with Jesse and Lydia. Russell changes the subject.

9:37: I think Michelle is about the sanest person in the jury house right now. And Russell, amazingly! Jordan doesn’t have a shot in the jury house.

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9:45: Final HOH, part II beginning…

9:46: Kevin gets the first question right. Jordan gets the second one. 1-1.

9:48: Jordan is up 2-1 now. Then the next question they are tied again, 2-2. The last question they also tied.

9:49: They grab their chalkboards for the tie breaker. Neither looks very confident. Holy HELL! Jordan says 50 when the answer was 51! Whoa, dude. She’s not as dumb as she seems. Heh.

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9:53: We have another hour of this. They draw this last one out, but I will miss it when it’s over.

9:54: “Give me the scarf, bitch.” Still cracks me up.

9:55: Jordan casting her vote. Natalie pleading to Jordan…blah, blah, blah.

9:56: Kevin asks so sweetly that Jordan keep him. I love him! Please keep him Jordan!! You’d be so Gucci!

9:57: Jordan saying she is going with what her gut is telling her. She evicts KEVIN! BOO!!!!  @!&*!!

9:58: Natalie to Kevin, “I think you have to go”. I’d love to smack that smug look on her face! Natalie made it to final 2!!! O. M. G.

10:00: Kevin being totally cool when talking to Julie. He’s not mad and he understands why Jordan did what she did. Says he has no regrets. He is still happy and says he has been trying to get on Big Brother since Season One.

10:01: I am stilled pissed Natalie is in the final 2, BUT if she wins, I win $130 in a Big Brother pool!  Can you believe that? So I guess I can’t be too mad if she does win. But still..

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10:05: Eating strawberries. I’d highly recommend picking some up next time you hit the grocery store.

10:06: Julie inviting jury house onstage. What, no tear-away shirt for Jessie?

10:09: Kevin comes out as the last jury member. Lydia looked so cute until she said that the final two are “witches”. Why be so bitter?

10:10: Jury questioning Final 2.

10:11: Jordan saying she just wanted to be herself throughout the game. Natalie tells Lydia that she thought Lydia was her biggest threat. I think she is working for a vote from Lydia…

10:12: Jordan says she thinks her best move in the game was getting rid of Kevin. Michelle brings up that Natalie is 18 and is engaged. Natalie is very snippy responding to her.

10:13: Why each person thinks they deserve to win: Jordan says that she didn’t just get carried through the game, and says she won more than ever when not depending on anyone else. Natalie says she aligned herself with strong players.

10:16: The audience hates Natalie. They gasped after she said that she had stayed true to her word and her alliances. Ha! Her dorkasaurus must be proud.

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10:20: Jordan pleads her case to jury. She’s basically repeating herself. She has flown “under the radar”, she won competitions in the end, wasn’t personal, etc. You have to like Jordan though, as a person she is adorable. And so sweet and naive.

10:22: Natalie, gawd, I can’t even stand her voice. She says again that she was loyal, never betrayed her alliance, blah, blah…BLAH.

10:23: Jury members voting. Jessie is up first. Then Lydia. Lydia says to Jordan, “Jordan, I love a good blonde!” Russell says he chose the person he thinks played best start to finish. Damn, that must be Gnat! Jeff, of course will be voting for Jordan. Michelle says, “I am voting for the strongest female in this game”. Kevin, “I wanted to vote for who was cuter but you both look cute so I am voting strictly strategic.” Then Julie casts America’s vote.

10:26: Omg, Natalie might actually win this.

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10:31: Remembering Braden, the “dude”, Laura, the big-boobed one, Casey, my favorite banana, and Ronnie, the uber-doofus.

10:33: Ronnie’s voice is so high-pitched! BUT he is totally calling out Natalie on her bullsh*t! YES! Jordan just found out that Natalie wasn’t 18. Natalie is just laughing as Ronnie says she was the biggest liar of the game.

10:36: Casey saying that Jeff made the biggest mistake by getting rid of Russell.

10:38: Kevin shown on camera scheming against Jeff. Hilarious! Kevin looking super guilty. Jeff is cool though, he’s not all bent out of shape, saying that Michelle had already told him about the scheming.

10:39: Gawd, Braden seems drunk, heh. Actually after further inspection, I would say he is baked. A real meat-head!

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10:42: House guests talking about Chima. Laura saying she was mad because she would have killed to still be in the house. Kevin agrees with Laura.

10:44: Michelle and Ronnie making good. Ronnie apolgizes to Michelle for calling her the “worst human being ever.”

10:45: Jessie and Lydia clips of them getting it on! HA! Jessie says, “We were playing cards!” Busted dude, you hit that dirty B.

10:46: Lydia not responding to Julie asking if those two have gotten it on in the jury house. Russell says he was shocked and thought Lydia and Jessie were platonic. He says that he probably didn’t notice because he was busy yelling at somebody.

10:47: When asked by Julie if Jeff and Jordan will be continuing their relationship Jeff jokes, “Let’s wait and see if she wins.”

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10:52: America’s Vote goes to  JORDAN.

Jessie votes for JORDAN (What a burn to Natalie!!!)

Lydia votes for JORDAN

Russell votes for Natalie

Jeff votes for JORDAN

Whoa, the little soft spoken blonde wins it! I am shocked a bit! Too funny about Jessie voting for Jordan! Take that Natalie!

10:57: Julie reads the final two vote, just to see how Kevin and Michelle voted. Kevin voted for Natalie and Michelle voted for Jordan.

Julie asks Jordan how she is going to use the money she won. Jordan says she is going to put a down payment on a house, give her cousins money for college, and maybe buy a new car.

Then the $25,000 for America’s favorite house guest…which is of course JEFF. Julie says it wasn’t even close.

Awhh how cute Jeff and Jordan, the Big Brother prom queen and king!

Until next season, (c’mon Big Brother, do a WINTER one again!!) hasta luego!