Tiger Woods accident – what happened?

The Tiger Woods accident has set the sports (and gossip) world on FIRE.

Was it truly an accident – or did his wife, Elin Nordegren, beat the hell out of him after confronting him about an affair?

We still don’t know the answers to these questions and if Tiger has his way, we won’t ever. Unfortunately for him, these things tend to get found out. The weird thing is, the police don’t know what the hell happened either. So apparently they are getting a warrant to assist them in finding out the truth behind this ridiculous mess. A warrant would give authorities access to Woods’ medical records in order to help them determine how his injuries were sustained, because there are a LOT of inaccuracies in the couple’s stories.

The Woods have canceled police interviews three times so far, and seem to have no plans to chat with law enforcement officials. Sound fishy? You bet. People who don’t have anything to hide don’t dodge police interrogation…

Other factors in this bizarre case are whether or not Tiger was on prescription drugs at the time of the accident (which could garner him a DUI), if his wife rammed his Escalade with a golf cart as he left, causing him to be distracted and to crash into the tree. And, of course, the big question is whether or not she beat his ass with a golf club. Rumor has it that’s what he told a “friend” that’s exactly what happened that night.

According to TMZ, the “friend” claims Tiger called him and said he needed a “Kobe special” after the incident. I don’t think this needs explaining, but in case you are in the dark about it, Kobe Bryant bought his wife a diamond ring the size of a cherry after she caught him cheating. Tiger’s supposed “friend” told TMZ Tiger called it “a house on a finger”. If all this is true, it would seem that the infidelity rumors surrounding the golf champ would be accurate.

So just who is the alleged mistress? She’s Rachel Uchitel, (right) a 34-year-old club hostess, who, according to the National Enquirer, likes to screw around with married celebrity men. Shocking. Pffft. She has been quoted in the past as saying:

“Although I’ve been romantically linked to a famous baseball player, a Broadway star, a musician, and various film and television actors, I will never kiss and tell.”

But apparently she has with Tiger. Over time she has told many of her girlfriends, who have since come forward with details about her affair with Woods. However, Rachel still denies everything. I have a feeling she is loving this attention. Guilty – or not.

Anyhow, back to Tiger. He released a statement on his site, one that was probably written by his PR “people” and smells like bullsh*t.

Official statement from Tiger Woods:

As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I’m pretty sore.
This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.
This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.
The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.
This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.

And just for fun, here is the original 911 call from Tiger Woods’ neighbor, which was made moments after the crash:

I hate to speculate so early, but I can’t help but think Tiger WAS cheating on Elin and she DID freak the hell out and unleash some whoop ass on him. Otherwise the events just don’t add up. Wow, exactly how many male celebs have had to pay major consequences for cheating this year?