Corey Feldman will not attend Corey Haim’s funeral – PE
Lady Gaga is F***ED UP! – Y!
Alicia Keys tickets? Win ‘em here – PE
Tickle THIS, Elmo! – MJ
David Beckham’s pretty face took a hell of a shot – PB
Courtney Love’s crazy ass wants Frances back – LS
Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes split – PE
Alice in Wonderland tops the box office – GB
Adam Lambert fans go crazy in Japan – POP
Lindsay Lohan avoids her ex-boyfriend – HM
Jessica Simpson’s ‘The Hangover’ look- CR
Spankin’ blind item – DC
Jessica Simpson is excited to turn 30 – PE
Gisele on Vogue cover, BFD – AG
Mischa Barton makes a wish – NF
Teen charged in Susan Boyle break-in – ES
When Sean Penn’s not wishing anal cancer on people he is in Haiti – PE
Oh, Kate. Sorry to hear you and Sam split. Now that you are single, I will be available to comfort you during our intense rebound fling. It has probably been seven years since you’ve had some crazy-hot passion in your life. I’m here to quench the drought. I’ll take you back to my trailer park in my Ford Bronco (an American classic!). I’ll put on some Marvin Gaye, crack a sixer of Pabst, and remind you how good it feels to be an Oscar-winner. In the morning it’s off to Denny’s for a decadent Grand Slam. I want you to drown my bacon in your syrup. I’ve seen all of your movies (Hideous Kinky, anyone?). I know you like middle-aged bearded men. So let’s not pretend you haven’t been itching to leave Mendes for a little mending. I’ll wipe that smile off your face and put it where you need it most. See you in the morning.