- Big Brother 14 casting soon!
- Rihanna SMOKING hot at Grammys
- What the hell is Russell Brand wearing?
- Amber Heard is pretty in pink
- Justin Bieber gave Selena Gomez a ring
- Worst dressed at the Grammys
- The Queen is training Kate Middleton
- Justin Bieber and Ke$ha collaborating?
- Nicole Scherzinger forgets her pants
- The Situation insists he is not gay
- Adele's eyes...just wow
- Celebrity baby bump watch!
- The Kardashians/Jenners will sell anything
- Amber Rose at the Grammys looking gorgeous
- Lindsay Lohan wants you to buy her something
- Worst Grammys ensemble ever
- Kate Moss does W magazine
- BAFTA red carpet pics
- Remembering Whitney
- Khloe Kardashian wants to be an actress
- Blue Ivy Carter baby pics
- Courtney Stodden's sleazy Valentine's Day shoot with husband
PARIS HILTON IS CURRENTLY EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION FOR FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED.
SINCERELY, BRANDON M., (MATTHEW) WITTE
ARLINGTON, TEXAS
AGE: 34
So with all her money, can’t she finally get that wonk eye fixed already?
HAHAHAHAH, oh man. the term Wonk Eye made me laugh so hard!
PARIS HILTON IS EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION FOR FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED. SHE KIDNAPPED ME ON MAY 16, 2010 FOR A PERIOD OF 4 DAYS, RELEASING ME LATE EVENING OF MAY 20, 2010. SHE FORCED ME TO DRINK 50 GALLONS OF SPRITE BRAND SODA POP. WHEN I INFORMED HER THAT SO MUCH LIQUID AND SUGAR IN SUCH A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME COULD BE HARMFUL TO ME, SHE THEN ALSO GAVE ME A CONTINUAL ENEMA OF SPRITE BRAND SODA POP VIA A SECOND 50 GALLON DRUM. I AM NOW WHAT IS KNOWN AS AN “ANAL DIABETIC” DUE TO THE APPLICATION OF SO MUCH SUGAR UP THAT PART OF MY ANATOMY. THIS HAS ALSO GIVEN ME A WADDLE, ALTHOUGH I’M FORCED TO ADMIT THE WADDLE IN A WAY I FIND QUITE MANLY. STILL, WHAT IF I DIDN’T ENJOY WADDLING? SHE NEVER CONSIDERED SUCH A THING.
SINCERELY, BRANDON M. (MATTHEW) WITTE
ARLINGTON, TEXAS
AGE: 34
MY HOME ADDRESS: 3800 CURT DR. , ARLINGTON, TEXAS 76016
MY SOCIAL SECURITY # : 454-95-8625
MY TEXAS STATE DRIVERS LICENSE #: 15260143