Paris Hilton’s Birthday Cake Stolen, Donated to Homeless

Paris Hilton’s birthday cake was stolen and donated!

I gotta admit, I love this story.

During one of Paris Hilton’s many birthday celebrations last week her birthday cake was stolen minutes after she blew out the candles. The cake caper weaseled his way into the party then snagged the birthday cake when the perfect moment presented itself.

Later, a person claiming to be Paris Hilton’s birthday cake thief posted on Facebook that he had indeed taken the cake, and donated it to the homeless. He goes by ‘Paz’ and his post is totally hilarious. He even took pics of Paris Hilton’s birthday cake being dished up at the shelter.

He writes:

It’s been a surreal last few days.

12,560 news articles, 322 television segments, 147 interview requests…

The cake took on a life of its own.

No, really. At some point, the cake became spontaneously conscious and self-aware.

I’d been growing wary of the cake’s growing mental capacity for some time. But only after catching it on the john with a copy of The Unbearable Lightness of Being was I fully convinced.

Fearing for my personal safety, I decided it was time for the infamous dessert and I to make one final journey.

Travelling southbound on the 101 freeway, we wound our way to LA’s skid row. It was here that the saga of the purloined pastry was destined to reach its tasty conclusion.

“I regret that I have but 3 tiers of frosted red velvet to give for my country,” spoke the doomed confection.

And with that, he was carved into 125 delicious slices, and served to the homeless of downtown Los Angeles on white paper plates.

This story makes me smile. Every Wednesday should start like this.

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