Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux Are Shooting For A Baby

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are reportedly looking into getting married and starting a family. 

It’s not a big deal to me that, according to Us Magazine, homewrecker Jennifer Aniston (oh, the irony) and screenwriter Justin Theroux are looking to get married and start a family of their own (remember… he dumped his girlfriend of 14 years earlier this year to be with Aniston). I don’t even care that they’ve only been together for five months, and the idea that they’re ready to have kids after their affair turned into a relationship seems pretty horrible. It doesn’t affect me that Aniston is “anxious” to move on with the next part of her life at age 42, and this reeks of desperation not to end up alone than anything else. 

What does bother me though is that this means someone is able to look at Jennifer Aniston and say to themselves, “I want to have sex with her.”

I can’t wrap my head around such a notion, and that’s troubling to me.

Jennifer Aniston might be one of the most asexual women I’ve ever seen, and that’s pretty hard to accomplish, because no matter who you are, what you look like, guys typically imagine what it is that you look like naked. We do. That’s the truth, and I won’t even try to hide it. Even if you’re someone like Rosie O’Donnell, we still wonder… just because we’re curious. Gross, yes… but at least it satisfies our curiosity. I actually have less imagination about what Jennifer Aniston looks like naked than I do Rosie O’Donnell. I’m still not even sure that Jennifer Aniston has a vagina. As far as I know, it’s just an empty patch of skin down there, where the lady parts should be… and I don’t care one way or the other if I ever find out. I’ve never thought about what Jennifer Aniston might look like naked. I never imagined Jennifer Aniston having sex. I’ve never seen Jennifer Aniston as sexy in any way, shape or form, and it kinda weirds me out to think that there’s a man walking the earth who does, to the point that he’d put his weiner in whatever generic thing she’s got going on, engage in some type of intercourse and have a child result from that. 

I’ve seen pictures of Jennifer Aniston half-naked, and I still could care less about what’s going on under the covered parts. That’s sad. And I know I’m not the only one who shares in this thinking, because Brad Pitt left the asexual option for sexy sex personified in Angelina Jolie. Great minds think alike. 

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