Evangeline Lilly’s Sweet Revenge

“So you want an extra bag of peanuts, huh? How about some tasty butt instead?”

Evangeline Lilly recounts a great story of revenge from her days as a flight attendant while promoting her new film REAL STEEL.

As a big fan of LOST, I’d gladly watch Evangeline Lilly anywhere. Just her participation in REAL STEEL was enough to get me interested… well, that and the fighting robots not directed by Michael Bay. Well, as hot as Freckles is, she moved significantly down my attractive meter recently when she appeared on THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO to promote her new movie. That’s when she got into her past as a flight attendant, which should instantly make her more desirable. But as satisfying as her story of revenge smelling so sweet is, it’s enough to also brutally murder my longing for her (as if I had much of a chance to begin with… she’s married with a kid).

As the story goes, “One time there was this guy who was really awful to me, and I was really struggling that day, because I had really bad gas. And as a flight attendant, you don’t let that go when you’re on a plane. So this guy got under my skin to the point that finally I decided to save it all up, and when I was walking past him and when I got to row 48… I let it rip, right in his face.” The fact that she remembers the row number to this day is slightly arousing, as I’m quite fond of an empowered woman. Then I remember it was really her ass that was the one with all the strength on that particular day, and it quickly goes away.

I commend you for exacting revenge in your own way, Evangeline… just as I finish throwing up. I’m sure it was impressive, and it gives everyone reason to stand and cheer. It also forces everyone to reconsider how they treat their flight attendants while in the air. Ask for the whole can of soda and you might end up drinking flatulence on ice. That can’t taste too good at 20,000 feet.