Banging George Clooney Will Earn You $15,000

Stacy Keibler has increased her appearance fee price since her relationship with George Clooney became public.

Gay or straight, man or woman (or both), there isn’t a person alive in this economy who wouldn’t think about having sex with George Clooney, knowing that no matter what you do, just the fact that he puts his penis anywhere near you automatically increases your value by at least $15,000. That’ll sure help pay the bills.

The New York Post’s Page Six reports that George Clooney’s new main squeeze, former WWE Superstar and DANCING WITH THE STARS runner-up Stacy Keibler, has now raised her appearance fee from a once reasonable $10,000 (I’d pay 10 grand for the leggy starlet to come hang out with me… if I had that kind of money hanging around) to $25,000, which seems pretty steep for a woman who really hasn’t done much since leaving her wrestling career behind. She has long legs. Yeah, they’re awesome… but they’re not really a talent.

Her asking price may have shot up in the hopes of cashing in on the wish that Clooney might show up alongside his current girlfriend, in which case $25k doesn’t seem like a bad deal. Otherwise, that seems a bit ridiculous to secure Keibler to show up at my party or event. My dad once bumped into Demi Moore on the street by accident once. I wonder how much we could get for him just to show up at a hardware store. It doesn’t even have to be a grand opening or anything. Maybe he just needs a hammer. I’ll start the bidding at $15.