The Snooki is Pregnant, For REAL.

Holy 2012 – Jersey Shore’s Snooki is pregnant.

Lawd help us.

Snooki, 24, has procreated with her boyfriend, guido-boy, Jionni LaValle. The pint-sized, megatan, sausage-built, little annoyance is roughly three months along in her pregnancy. She’s been trying to keep the baby secret under wraps until past her first trimester, when the odds of a miscarriage are reduced dramatically.

Oh and get this, I’m sure you’ll find it as a surprise, Snooki has ALREADY sold out her little strawberry-sized fetus by selling the rights of the story to Us Weekly. Go figure.

So it looks like we won’t be getting rid of the Snooki anytime soon. In fact, it’s about to be nothing but Snooki for the next six months. I hope your liquor cabinets are well stocked and ready to deal with the impending Jersey Shore sh**storm that’s about to take place. Sorry Snook-Snook, no more binging on booze, diet pills or *GASP!* tanning for you, mamacita.

Once she squirts the little monster out I’m sure she’ll dress it in leopard print and oversized bows, sunglasses and bikinis. Instead of Baby Oil, the kid will be slathered in self tanner, and instead of feeding it a bottle, it will simply suck on pickles. Admit it, I’m probably not too far off. Yes folks, indeed it is the year of the apocalypse – the signs are everywhere.