Lindsay Lohan’s Dad is Having a Baby

It looks like someone was actually crazy or drunk enough to let Lindsay Lohan‘s dad, Michael Lohan (attention whore extraordinaire) dump his wad in her. The result? A very, very unfortunate pregnancy.

Michael Lohan can’t take care of himself let alone his children. There is always turmoil in his personal life and he doesn’t exactly have a professional life of any sort. He usually just exploits his children when he needs a little pocket change.

Kate Major is the woman carrying this child. The only thing she is used to carrying is a barf bucket for when she gets too wasted. She’s a pill popping, vodka chugging, mentally challenged leech who can’t seem to win at life either. These two also have a history of domestic violence.

Somehow Michael and Kate think that having a baby is going to make all their problems go away and miraculously they’ll be better people because of it. At the time we write this, Michael has yet to contact his daughter about Kate’s pregnancy. Lindsay is telling friends she is completely “shocked” by the baby news.

Us, not so much…