Vanessa Bryant Wants To Transform Into A Kardashian For Her, Not Kobe

If you’ve seen pictures of Kobe Bryant’s wife Vanessa lately, it’s probably safe to assume you accidentally mistook her for Kim Kardashian, because bitch has gone to extremes to turn herself into KK 2.0, or at least anything but herself! Whatever the motive, Vanessa is swearing it has been 100% her choice, and not something she’s done to try and keep her husband from straying (again).

Recently a source told The National Enquirer that the basketball trophy wife was beginning to feel ‘insecure’ about the way she looks and claimed she “would do anything to keep Kobe happy”, even if it meant going under the knife numerous times.

According to The Daily Mail, Vanessa’s reps have blasted the rumors saying that they are “100 per cent not true” and even called them “ridiculous”.

Like many gossip stories involving cosmetic surgery do, the Mail has some plastic surgeon docs (who usually have not treated the celebrity themselves) chime in on what they think she’s had done. I skipped that part because even with an untrained eye, it’s obvious she’s had a ton of work done, so don’t tell me.

All I know is a) the only one that can keep Kobe’s junk inside of his pants and outside of anyone else besides his wife is him, no matter how hot his wife is and b) I think Vanessa used to be outrageously gorgeous before she started messing with herself, and now she’s just a shell (a plastic one) of her old self. Sad really, but I find both “a” and “b” are common elements to a lot of dysfunctional couples in Hollywierd.

I know they’re a tad small, but here are some pics of Vanessa in 2000, 2008, and 2012.