Lindsay Lohan Doesn’t Like Her Half-Sister Half As Much As Cocaine

- Before reading this post, do me a favor. Open this YouTube video and let it play as you read this story. Just because.

Last week it was revealved that Michael Lohan was the father of a 17-year-old lovechild he fathered while screwing around on his wife, Lindsay Lohan‘s mother, Dina Lohan. DNA tests proved last week that Michael was indeed the father of Ashley Horn, a beautiful and very Lohan looking teenage girl who was born in 1996. Michael didn’t seem happy about being the father , Ashley didn’t seem happy about being his illegitimate daughter and Lindsay sure as hell isn’t happy about any of it. (Unless Ashley’s got a great hookup for some blow, then I bet they’d be BFF’s with a quickness.)

Lindsay hasn’t spoken to Michael since he released phone calls of her desperately crying for help while partying with her drugged out mom. She wants nothing to do with her father, or any of his illegitimate children (he’s expecting another, btw), and she has no plans to meet, or even speak with, her half sister, Ashley.

Michael blabbed to TMZ (what a weird relationship those two have) that he is bummed that Lindsay and Ashley won’t be connecting. ”I am sorry to hear Lindsay feels that way. I met Ashley and she is a good kid. But we all have our choices to make in life, as well as our own prerogatives. Who knows, maybe someday things will change. Regardless, I want the best for all my kids.”

As for Ashley, we’re not so sure she wants to meet Lindsay either, so it’s all good. Before finding out the DNA results she said,  ”I don’t want to be a part of what they’ve called the Lohan train wreck.”