Steven Seagal is Looking Good!

Steven Seagal is fat and dumpy now, and looks nothing like he used to back in the day when he was an action hero on the big screen. As someone said on twitter, “He swallowed his ego.” Sure looks like it.

I’ve heard nothing but terrible things about Steven Seagall and his ego over the years. He’s supposedly a total douchebag who is a nightmare to work with, is extremely narcissistic and demanding. He thinks he is God’s gift to women and hell, he probably thinks he IS God. Celebrities hate his fat ass too. Here’s a compilation of quotes about Seagall, made by his peers.

“His trailer is around the corner from mine on the Warner Bros. lot, and I was walking by recently and he said, ‘Margulies, come over here and show me some respect!’ He’s not someone I keep in touch with.” - Julianna Margulies

“I got back at Seagal on Howard Stern, I didn’t press charges against him for violating my privacy. I never had that happen to me before, inappropriate behavior. He crossed the line. But I got word from his lawyer that Seagal doesn’t want me saying bad things about him. I told my lawyer to tell his lawyer to tell him that I wouldn’t say another fricking word about it because I already got back at him on the Stern show, but people wouldn’t say bad things if he didn’t do bad things. “ – Jamie Pressly

“Well the response from Seagal’s publicist was that if he sees me on the red carpet, he’s going to knock me out. [Laughs.] That was his response. And my response was that I wasn’t afraid because I haven’t seen him in a movie in years—which would make him really want to knock me out. He can fight. That’s the only downside to my comment: He can actually knock me out. He runs like a girl, but he hits like a 6-foot-5 dude who has trained his whole life.

“I was doing this thing called Executive Decision and I was supposed to play the sergeant to his captain. The first day of rehearsal, there was the director, Joe Morton, B.D. Wong, Oliver Platt—we’re all big actors, we’re all big boys, we’re all experienced. And we start rehearsing and he came in and was like, [low, breathy voice] “I’m in command. What I say is law.” So I started, like, [snorts]. I mean, who the f**k talks like that? Who comes into rehearsal and says that sh*t? So I started laughing and he slammed me with an aikido elbow against a brick wall and knocked all the air out of me. I dropped to the ground, and all I could say was, [gasping] “Why? Why?” I really wanted to say that he runs like a bitch and has no hair, but I was afraid. So on the days when we shot the scene where he died, I showed up so early. I wanted to see him die. It was like a fantasy.” - John Leguizamo (FilmDrunk)

“I was constantly raped and abused my whole life.” – Kelly LeBrock, Steven Seagal’s wife of 10 years.

“No, that would be Steven Seagal.” – Lorne Michaels on the biggest jerk to ever host SNL.

And just for fun…