Kate Upton Sexy Super Bowl Ad For Mercedes

Kate Upton, you little minx you.

In a new 2013 Super Bowl ad for Mercedes, Kate stars as her sexy self, posing as eye candy for a group of high school boys who are having a fundraising car wash. It kind of sounds like the plot of a porn, but it’s a family friendly ad, just very, very suggestive.

The Mercedes ad begins with a camera scanning her entire body from the ground up. Then “Kate Upton washes the new Mercedes CLA,” comes on the screen:

Uh, no she doesn’t, a group of horny high school football players do.

Next, the commercial says, “Kate Upton washes the new Mercedes CLA in slow motion.”

Another lie. This is a stupid build up. Wasting precious time of Kate actually being on our screens. What the HELL?

Now it finally gets rolling. We get the equation here. That face + those boobies = white stuff in palm.

Upton blows. If I were a 15-year-old right now I would draw a huge peen resting on her hand and, well, you know. But that would be too Perez of me, and I won’t go there. But we’re all thinking it. You perv.

Sudsy, “sexy” water pours over the Mercedes. Then it’s a shot of the very, very turned-on mirror. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Christine, but with a killer sex drive. Watch out, that Mercedes has side mirrors and it knows how to use them.

One of the high school football players concentrates on washing the windshield. He only washes in a circular motion, in one spot. Obviously the clit of  car.

In this shot, there is so much going on. #80 looks like he’s taking it from #85 while #55 is busy washing the splooge out of his buddy’s hair. How sweet of him.

It’s a happy ending for this Gomer Pyle….

….who accidentally got some in this guy’s hair. I think he even gets some in his eyes. But he don’t care, anything for Kate.

Kate struts over the the boys and tells them, “You missed a spot.” Obviously THE spot because bitch is hoofing it away from the car wash and isn’t rubbing all over herself like she was. You little pricks blew it, haha. It was the spot on the window, you dumb ass.

The boys’ balloons are now deflated. *sniffle*

The only thing missing at the end was a pair of these hanging from the rear bumper of the car.

Watch Kate Upton’s Super Bowl ad (below) and let us know what you think!

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