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SPLASH vs. DrunkenStepfather.com

Thursday, June 7th, 2007

Splash News Photo Agency, aka the paparazzi, made ‘Jesus Martinez’ of DrunkenStepfather.com remove photos of Maggie Gyllenhaal breastfeeding that he posted yesterday. 

It’s funny, photos are always available on different celebrity forums the next day, so I don’t see why the paps are going after the bloggers instead of the many celebrity forums, where anyone has access to the photos..

Anyhow, here is Jesus’ most snide response to the paps. I thought it was funny and I had to share.

Jesus is always good for a laugh…if you’re not a prude.

Clare,

Thanks for the lovely email. I figure before getting down to business we should take the time to get to know each other. I usually like dealing with people who I’ve seen naked, I feel like it leaves little on the table to get in the way of getting things done. You know I won’t be wondering how your parts "hang" while you’re talking to me….

Ok, Now down to business, attached you will find an invoice for the $25,000 clicks I have sent your site at a rate of $5 per click.

You can either pay me the $125,000 in credits to use your pictures, or you can always send  a check to my mailing address.

Thanks Sweetheart.

Oh and PS –
I take personal offense to the mis-use of the word Unauthorised, how the f*ck to do you expect me to take you seriously when you make typos like a f*cking clown.

I also take personal f*cking offense to you trying to take me down and you trying to f*ck with my content that I work hard at writing. Your threats of legal action piss me the f*ck off.
I don’t make money off my f*cking site and I don’t have money to fight you. But let’s face it the real f*cking criminal in this whole situation is the psycho stalker hiding in the f*cking bushes snappin’ off pics of this bitch and her baby and not the personal blogger writing about big milk filled titties set to those pictures.

That said, I’ll have the pictures down before you can spell unauthorised correctly, which may be a f*cking while.

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What a Gorgeous Weekend!

Saturday, June 2nd, 2007

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

I am working on switching The Smack from Blogger to Typepad, so we’ll be under construction for the weekend.  Until then you can catch us at our old address to get your SPICY FIX!

Love you bitches!

xoxo


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Drunken Stepfather vs. Paparazzi (Specifically Splash News)

Saturday, February 10th, 2007

I love Jesus Martinez from Drunken Stepfather.

He tells it like it is.

The other day he called out the paparazzi for cashing in on a HALF MILLION DOLLARS with the video of a dead Anna Nicole Smith being wheeled out covered in a blanket.


(Now that’s living large. Those paparazzi should take their kids to Disneyland with that half million.)


It seems that Jesus struck a nerve with what he wrote because now the paparazzi are all over his shit. And they really like to get all worked up too. It’s cool. This reminds me of the X17/Perez Hilton feud.

From Drunken Stepfather:

I wrote a post that ripped into the paparazzi for being petty pieces of shit for running after blogs who make no money while making 1/2 million dollars for some shitty video of a dead Anna Nicole.
I just read my comments and this is what was posted:

you are a fruit cake Says:
February 9th, 2007 at 4:10 pm e

Dude. You are a total FRUITCAKE. Without the paparazzi what would your blog be? Get off your moral high horse. The reason your video doesnt sell is its shit. The reason you dont make a cent of your blog is you steal contents from other blogs and you are a fruit cake.
Jesus. You are a bigger trainwreck than ANS

drunken step mom Says:

February 9th, 2007 at 4:12 pm e

you are only posting this in a vain attempt to drive traffic to your crap blog. Loser. You are SUCH a loser its amazing. Its well known iin the blog community how you stalk other bloggers.

I checked the IP and this is what it said:

Search results for: ! NET-12-158-232-192-1

OrgName: SPLASH NEWS, INC
OrgID: SPLAS
Address: 330 WASHINGTON BLVD
City: MARINA DEL REY
StateProv: CA
PostalCode: 90292
Country: US

NetRange: 12.158.232.192 – 12.158.232.255
CIDR: 12.158.232.192/26
NetName: SPLASH-N22-232-192
NetHandle: NET-12-158-232-192-1
Parent: NET-12-0-0-0-1
NetType: Reassigned
Comment:
RegDate: 2002-10-14
Updated: 2002-10-14

OrgTechHandle: SMITH15-ARIN
OrgTechName: Smith, Kevin
OrgTechPhone: +1-310-821-2666
OrgTechEmail: ksmith@splashnews.com

Funny that he’d call me a stalker…like I was sitting outside your house in a van with a telephoto lens waiting for you to walk outside and get into your car or maybe like I followed you into the grocery store and took pictures of the bags to see what you’re buying so that I can turn around and sell the pics for 20,000 dollars to the media.

I don’t rip off blogs, I rip off message boards.

Love,
Jesus”

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Rosie O’Donnell Blogs About Anna Nicole Smith’s Death

Friday, February 9th, 2007

Please don’t ask me to decipher this or translate. I don’t understand bitter, reckless dumbass. Just not fluent in that language… yet.

ME: BIG THINGS GOING ON IN THE NEWS. IF I HAVE TO SEE ANNA NICOLE SMITH ONE MORE TIME ON TELEVISION. THAT WOMAN AND HER PATERNITY TEST. .. AND SHE CAN HARDLY EVEN SPEAK NOW. SHE CAN’T EVEN SPEAK. SHE’S LIKE (I DO A BLANK AND MUMBLE INTO THE CAMERA) …YOU KNOW IT’S A TRAGEDY ALL AROUND. ..HER SON DIED. SHE HAS THIS LITTLE BABY. THERE’S OBVIOUSLY SOME KIND OF MEDICATION OR SUBSTANCE INVOLVED. I DON’T KNOW.

ELISABETH HASSELBECK: THAT’S AN ODD SITUATION.

KRISTIN CHENOWETH: OR NOT INVOLVED

ME: OR NOT INVOLVED, EVEN WORSE. BUT IT’S SORT OF LIKE DISTRACTING. THE ART OF DISTRACTION. THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE REAL.

EH:WHO DOESN’T.

ME: I THINK OUR CULTURE NOW.

EH:YOU THINK THE THE REPUBLICANS ARE PUTTING ANNA NICOLE ON THE TV ?

ME :NO.

JOY BEHAR: YOU CAN’T BLAME THE REPUBLICANS FOR EVERYTHING.

EH:WE WERE THERE BEFORE. JUST NEEDED TO CHECK.

—————————————–

i was in the air when Anna Nicole Smith died
the plane landed
my phone rang
“Anna Nicole Smith died three hours ago,” my publicist said
“Do you have a comment?” she asked.

unbearably tragic
2 words only
sums it up
pretty much

simply
to tell the truth
to speak of her suffering
2 notice 2 care

fame
more toxic than crack
one hit
and ur done

more tempting than sex
the suffering of someone else
her pain
entertainment

ya know
all anyone wants
r people who they know
will keep them from going over the edge

focus
breathe
keep me where the light is
we pray

Rosie’s blog
pic source

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Celebrity Smack’s First Annual 2006 Gossip Bloggers Choice Awards!

Monday, December 18th, 2006

Welcome to the First Annual GBCA’s!



Rather than doing a year end wrap up of my own I thought it would be fun to ask other celebrity gossip bloggers their thoughts on all things celebrity in the year 2006.


1. What was the Biggest Celebrity Scandal in 2006?

Bumpshack- “It could have been a number of things from the Tom-Kat whirlwind to Mel Gibson’s arrest but Britney Spears cooch is what shut down servers with Goliath like traffic for several days. The queen of trash has returned with a bang.”

Celebrity Mound- “Mel Gibson and his anti-semitic rant.”

Glitterati- “Denise Richards stealing Heather Locklears’ husband, Richie Sambora. Definitely not what friends are for. EVER.”

The Evil Beet- “Judging by traffic patterns, I think most gossip bloggers would have to agree that this goes to the Britney Spears Crotch Shot, the labia that launched a thousand server replacements.”

Im Bringing Blogging Back- “A tie b/w crazy ass Mel Gibson and crazy ass Michael Richards. It really was a crazy ass tie. How do you choose between racism and anti-semitism?”


2. The Most Over-Rated Celebrity?

Glitterati- “It’s a tie between Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise. Seriously, what’s Paris good for anyway – besides sharing STD’s? And Tom Cruise has been everywhere and in a creepy kind of way, too. I think Scientologists are responsible for all of the world’s UFO sightings, with Tom completely in control of the abductions.”

Im Bringing Blogging Back- “Paris “Stanky Putanky” Hilton. Most over-rated faux-lebrity? Perez Hilton. It’s a Hilton thing.”

Pop on the Pop- “Eva Longoria. She can’t act. She just looks like a short, overtanned gopher on Desperate Housewives.”

The Evil Beet- “I say this every year, but I really can’t stand Mandy Moore. I don’t think she’s attractive or talented or interesting, and when I watch an interview with her I want to slap my television. I have no idea why people still care about her. I wish she’d just go away.”



3. Who was the Biggest Trainwreck?

GabSmash- “Lohan. Broken bones, loads of coke, random letters, car wrecks, AA for a year but only clean for a week…what the hell?”

PopBytes- “Although it got off to a late start – I would have to say Britney Spears! We were overjoyed when she finally ditched Kevin – but then a few weeks later went on a panty-less party tour with the likes of Paris Hilton & Lindsay Lohan! She needs to be focusing on her two kids and her much needed comeback!”

Bumpshack- “Sadly Anna Nicole Smith was the biggest trainwreck. She had to endure the loss of her oldest son, paternity challenges from a host of men over her new baby, and was evicted from her Caribbean home. Everyone needs to pray for Anna and stability in 2007.”

The Blemish- “Lindsay Lohan. Drug induced rants, vagina flashing, cut up wrists, befriending Paris Hilton, dropping Paris Hilton, alcoholism, being generally retarded, not flashing her boobs. Disappointing really.”

4. The Most Improved Celebrity?

Miz Monica- “Ashlee Simpson has improved 100% percent. She’s the hotter Simpson now..”

The Blemish- “Nicole Richie. She’s 85lbs now. The weight of a normal little boy. And with pecs to match! Congrats.”

PopBytes-”My darling Courtney Love who has cleaned up her messy act quite well – We’ve seen her and daughter Frances Bean (who is turning out to be a lovely young lady) out & about looking happy – plus Courtney’s back in the studio doing what she does best! I freakin’ love Courtney!”

Gabsmash- “The one who backed away from the crack pipe and her husband, Whitney Houston.”

5. What were the Best & Worst Reality Shows?

The Evil Beet- “Best- Love me some Top Chef. I just have to watch it on a full stomach, otherwise it makes me crazy. Worst- It hurts me physically to watch Laguna Beach. It goes beyond just a headache. It makes my whole body sore. I get nauseous. The room starts to spin. It’s really awful.”

Gossip or Truth- “Best- Amazing Race. Worst- America’s Next Top Model.”

Pop on the Pop- “Best- Flavor of Love. Worst- House of Carters. Rehab, anger management, anyone? And guts all up in my face. Nick should borrow Tom Cruise’s girdle.”

Glitterati- “‘Flavor of Love’ gets my vote for Best AND Worst. It’s like watching a car accident in progress; you want to turn away, but damn – you just can’t.”

Celebrity Mound- “Best- Dancing With The Stars, Worst- The Simple Life.”

6. The Most Shocking Moment?

PopBytes- “Well I wasn’t shocked but it did send a jolt of energy through my body…The day Britney Spears finally filed from divorce from dirtbag Kevin Federline! I was beside myself with glee!”

Im Bringing Blogging Back- “The most shocking moments would be all of the Hollywood Stanky Putanky that I saw this year. B/W Lindsay, Paris, Britney, and more it was really the year of the Stanky Putanky, don’t you think? Sometimes shocking is good. Also, there was plenty of cameltoe to go around too. hopefully that cameltoe will eventually turn into stanky putanky. It really is the circle of life.”

Glitterati- “I think those incidents involving George Michael – who was literally caught with his pants down – were a little shocking, but only in a funny sort of way. I think what’s really shocking about the whole situation is that his partner continues to stay with him.”

The Evil Beet- “The Reese/Ryan split kind of threw me for a loop. I thought if anyone could make a Hollywood marriage work, they could. But it’s very exciting that we’ll see Reese back on the dating scene soon!”

7. Most Forgettable Moment?

The Blemish- “Ashlee Simpson’s multiple plastic surgeries. Still a no talent three bagger, but now with 5x more plastic.”

Gossip or Truth- “Paris and Nicole becoming friends again.”

Miz Monica- “Taylor Hicks won American Idol.”

Gabsmash- “Uhhhh, one word. Federline.”

The Evil Beet- “Didn’t Paris Hilton come out with some sort of album? Or was it just a single? Maybe I’m thinking of a porn video. Can’t remember..”

8. Saddest Moment?

Gossip or Truth- “Paris getting Music Award for ‘Stars are Blind’”

Celebrity Mound- “Anna Nicole Smith’s interview on Xtra – about her son’s death.”

The Blemish- “Steve Irwin dying from a sting ray. One of nature’s cruelest jokes.”

Pop on the Pop- “The passing of Ed Bradley. He was an inspiration to all journalists. His light shined so brightly. And he was fairly handsome, so that adds to my personal sadness. I didn’t get to meet him yet.”

PopBytes- “The loss of Dana Reeves to cancer – A wonderful person who was taken way before her time.”

Who Do You Hope to See Less of in 2007?

Pop on the Pop- “Perez Hilton. Drawing on pics is what I did when I was four.”

Im Bringing Blogging Back- “Perez Hilton.”

Glitterati- “Britney’s ‘Hot Pocket’. Oh wait – you said “who”, didn’t you? In that case, Nicole Richie. Already, we seem to see less and less of her every day. By this time next year, she’ll have lost so much weight, she’ll be just hair and eyeballs.”

PopBytes- “Lindsay Lohan & her mom Dina. Oh these two make me ill – Lindsay is about as smart as a tree and her Mom is like the ultimate stage mother - And they hail from Long Island (yes I’m from there too unfortunately!)”

10. What was the Worst Celebrity Fad?

Bumpshack- “Those tights that women wear everywhere. Tights are for the gym or maybe even the grocery store, but not for going out to clubs and being photographed all about town. Get rid of the tights and the big fat granny sunglasses while you are at it.”

Miz Monica- “Feeling the need to weigh 12lbs.”

PopBytes- “The whole skinny factor that flew around Hollywood like a virus – way too many celebrities holding themselves at questionable weights.”

Gabsmash- “Lohan’s cutter covers. i.e., wristbands and gloves. Ew.”

11. Cutest Celebrity Baby?

The Blemish- “Shiloh. She’s the second coming and they say if you touch her your herpes will go away.”

Bumpshack- “Coco.”

Miz Monica- “Suri and Sean Preston take the cake.”

Pop on the Pop- “Kingston Rossdale. Gwen Stefani thinks he’s a doll and a L.A.M.B bag, but he’s cute enough for her to flaunt him around. Suri Cruise on the other hand… Lord, bless that child.”

12. Make One Prediction Regarding a Celebrity for 2007.

The Evil Beet-”My guess is we’ll see another Britney Spears quickie wedding, probably in Vegas, by March at the latest.”

PopBytes- “Whitney Houston – I hope & pray this will be her big comeback year!”

The Blemish- “Lindsay Lohan will have a nervous breakdown accompanied by an attempted suicide.”

Pop on the Pop-”Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will split. That would be nice.”

Glitterati- “Pamela Anderson will remarry Tommy Lee. I know – pretty unrealistic, isn’t it?”

Gossip or Truth- “Britney’s career will go down, Lindsay will become drug addict.” Bumpshack- “Cameron and Justin will break up once she tires of covering up his sexuality.”

Celebrity Mound- “Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will break up and Arnold Schwartzanegger and Maria Shriver will divorce.”

Im Bringing Blogging Back-”Jennifer Aniston will not get married.”

Miz Monica- “Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake will reunite.”

Gabsmash- “Madonna & Guy will split. Beyonce & Jay Z will split. So will Cameron & Justin. Oh yeah, and someone will die and set a reality check. You know it’s going to happen. And I hope Naomi finally gets the ass beating she deserves.”

Thanks to all bloggers who participated..
Give them much love Smackaholics!




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X17 Talks of Suing Perez Hilton

Sunday, December 17th, 2006

“We’ve had trouble with a lot of bloggers,” X17 co-owner Brandy Navarre said. “But he’s the biggest, and the most arrogant and pigheaded about it, frankly.”

X17 says Perez has remained ‘unrepentant about his part in the suit, and is unconcerned about a recent cease-and-desist letter he received from seven similar paparazzi companies.’

“If the law says I am wrong, if a jury of my peers says they think my actions are wrong, then I will listen to them. But I don’t think they will,” Perez Hilton (real name Mario Lavandeira) said.

“Especially if they see that the person who is suing me admitted she is suing me because I am arrogant. A judge would dismiss that.”

I am certainly no Perez fan but I will say this. X17 is not a very professional company, by any means.

Perez has gotten so under their skin that they have publicly fought this war like the drama queens they are. I believe it was X17 who started the blog called “Fuck Perez Hilton.” Classy, Brandy.

They also started a lame ass petition and have only gotten a mere few hundred signatures.

If they are having such a fucking cow about people not paying for their stalker images then why are they posting them on a public blog?

Now they are targeting other blogs with snide blind items such as this..

Guess which Jokers of Journalism think they and their not-so-Good partner site are Justified in stealing our images for their Joke of a website? Criticizing the media and then Jerking around with images that aren’t yours Just ain’t cool. Guess we’ll Just see them in court!

P.S. – First, it’s not Just Jared or Perez. Second, we got the following comment -

December 15, 2006
10:21 AM
Posted by: Anonymous

Might I make a suggestion?
If you’d offer a larger variety of licenses so bloggers could use your photos legally, you’d not have to worry so much.
While I certainly understand being upset about theft of one’s intellectual property, you’re only hurting yourselves by being litigious.

Guess what, we DO offer special rates for blogs (Socialite’s Life, PopSugar, and Sawfnews are already clients) — email us at X17@X17online.com for more info!

At least their Celebrity, Media, and Manhattan blog will have a front row seat in court!”


Obviously referring to Jossip’s “Mollygood.”

I think someone (Brandy) at X17 has a major anger issue,
They are like chickens with their heads cut off..running around, screaming shit, having a fit. I would guess if they are going to sue Perez that he will likely countersue for all the crap they have said/posted about him on their blog.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Both parties involved are assholes, so it should be one great big stinkfest.

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Perez Hilton Talks to Howard Stern

Wednesday, December 6th, 2006

Okay, so I can’t stand Perez, just like most other bloggers.
(Yes, we are jealous of the bitch.)
But you know what, I am hoping he does well in the lawsuit he is facing. Because if he doesn’t, things are going to change, boys and girls…


Sent to us from ‘In Case You Didn’t Know


“Perez brought up that John Stamos called him before his appearance this morning so he’d promote his new movie, “Wedding Wars,” and also admitted he was in a feud with Kathy Griffin over his outing of Lance Bass.

Perez said he now has like 4 million people checking out his web site every day so the site is huge. Howard said that it’s obvious that he will never bad mouth Paris Hilton because she’s his friend. Perez said he still gets calls from her when she gets mad at something he writes.

Howard asked Perez what the last thing was that Paris got upset about. Perez said that it was a cartoon of her that she didn’t like. Howard said he read that there are rumors that Britney Spears and Paris Hilton might be lesbians. Perez said that he wouldn’t be surprised at all because both of them have said they like girls.

Now Famous Lawsuit:

Perez proceeded to say he was being sued by some photographers who claimed he stole their pictures for his site, but he insisted he was in the right on the matter.

Howard asked Perez if his web site is doing well. He said it’s never been better but he has started his own merchandise thing to help offset his legal costs. There are people suing him over the pictures he uses on his site and he thinks the only way he can fight it is in court. He said that he’s fighting for himself and for all of the other bloggers out there.

Likes/Dislikes:

Perez then called Jesse Metcalf “the biggest Hollywood asshole” because he was “marginally talented and good-looking,” yet took himself “very seriously.” A listener called in to ask if Perez had any problems talking about celebrities who he thought were gay even though they hadn’t come out, but he said he didn’t because he was just speculating about the topic the same way the mainstream media did for Hollywood breakups.

Celeb News via Perez:

Howard asked Perez if he thinks that Britney is having a break down because she’s out partying and flashing her beaver everywhere. Perez said that Britney has been a party girl for a long time and while she was married she was pregnant so now she’s back to partying again. That’s all it is.

Howard said that Beth goes on his web site like 4 or 5 times a day and she shows him what’s new. Perez said that the last time he was on the show he had broken the news that Lance Bass was coming out. That same day Lance announced it. Perez said that Lance has now broken up with his boyfriend and he feels bad about that. Howard read that Perez thinks that they broke up because they were both ‘’bottoms’’ in the relationship. Perez said he has friends who know the two of them so he hears things.

Perez said that when he started his blog two and a half years ago, he wanted to write about celebrities because they’re so much more interesting than he is. Howard asked Perez about outing people on his site. Perez said that he always gets confirmation about people being gay before he outs them. Howard said that some of them may not want to be outed though so maybe that’s not right.

Perez claims that he knows that Clay Aiken is gay but his record label won’t let him come out. Perez said that people tend to believe the artist and Lance Bass could have continued on pretending to be straight for years.”

Thanks Jocelyn!

(ICYDK/MarcsFriggin)


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