Joan Rivers is accusing Brooke Shields of being fake and self-serving at Michael Jackson’s memorial service last month.

The plastic evil old hag says that Brooke only used the time to speak to get “face time” for herself.

When the paparazzi asked Joan, who was recently the subject of a Comedy Central roast,  “Who would you like to roast?”

She quickly said, “Michael Jackson!” Then switched to, “Brooke Shields! Who was Michael’s dearest friend. Hadn’t seen him since 1993…It’s called face-time.”

OUCH! I can’t stand Joan. She’s cold and evil! Both her and her daughter Melissa really get under my skin, like a bad rash. Joan constantly spews bile from her mouth – with a grin on her face. Or wait, is that a grin? It’s so hard to tell when her face doesn’t move..

So what do you think? Is Joan right this time? Was Brooke exploiting Michael and their friendship? Or was Joan out of line to even go there?

Watch the video of Joan Rivers bashing Brooke Shields here!

[TMZ]

Eminem The Warning

Eminem has dropped his new tune ‘The Warning’, a major diss to Mariah Carey and her ‘Obsessed’ video.

Can I just say, dayumn!! Eminem didn’t pull any punches. At ALL.

He mentions still having photos of Mariah, (I’m guessing the sexual kind), says in 6 months she only gave it up once and he actually used a studio session that the two did together in his diss! Wow.

Just check the lyrics to The Warning for yourself: (NOTE: This song is very NSFW!)

Only reason I dissed you in the first place is because you denied seeing me
Now I’m pissed off
Sit back and relax homey, kick back and relax, grab a six pack while I kick facts
Yeah Dre’s sick track, perfect way to get back
Wanna hear something wick wack?
I got the exact same tat that’s on Nick’s back
I’m obsessed now
Oh gee, is that supposed to be me in the video with the goatee
Wow Mariah, I didn’t expect her to go balls out
Bitch, shut the f**k up before I put all them phone calls out you made to my house when you was wild n’ out before Nick
When you was on my d*ck and give you somethin’ to smile about
How many times you fly to my house? Still trying to count
Better shut your lying mouth if you don’t want Nick finding out
You probably think cuz it’s been so long if i had something on you I woulda did it by now
On the contrary, Mary Poppins, I’m mixing our studio session down and sending it to mastering to make it loud
Enough dirt on you to murder you
This is what the f**k I do
Mariah, it ever occur to you that I still have pictures?
However you prefer to do and that goes for you too, Nick, fa**o t
You think I’m scared of you?
You gonna ruin my career you better get one
Like I’m a sit and fight with you over some sl*t bitch c**t who made me put up with her psycho ass over 6 months and only spread her legs to let me hit once
Yeah, what you gonna say? I’m lucky? Tell the public that I was so ugly that you f***ing had to be drunk to f**k me?
Second base? What the f**k you tell Nick, punk?
In the second week we was dry humping. It’s gotta count for something.
Listen, girly. Surely you don’t want me to talk about how I nutted early cuz I ejaculated early and bust all over your belly, and you almost started hurling and said I was gross, go get a towel you’re stomachs curling. Or maybe you do.
But if I’m embarrassing me, I’m embarrassing you and don’t you dare say it isn’t true.
As long as the song’s getting airplay I’m dissing you.
I’m a hair away from getting carried away and getting sued.
I was gonna stop at 16. That is 32. This is 34 bars. We ain’t even a third of the way through.
Damn, Slim. Mariah played you. Mariah who?
Oh did I say ”wh*re”, Nick? I meant a liar too.
Like I’ve been goin off on you all this time for no reason.
Girl you out yo alcoholic mind. Check ya wine cellar. Look at all the amounts of all the wine.
Like I sit around and think about you all the time.
I just think this is funny when I pounce you on a rhyme.
But f*** it now I’m about to draw the line.
And for you to cross it that’s a mountain that I doubt you wanna climb.

I can describe areas of your house that you wouldn’t find on an episode of Cribs
A blubba load ribs if I hear another word so don’t go opening your jibs
cuz every time you do it’s just another load of fibs
I ain’t saying this shit again, ho, you know what it is.
It’s a warning shot for before I blow up ya whole spot
Call my bluff and I’ll release every f***ing thing I got
Including the voicemails right before you flipped your top
When me and Luis were tryin’ to stick two CD’s in the same spot
(Slim Shady I love you)
I love you too
Let me whisper sweet nothings into your ear, boo. Now what you say?
(It’s nothing)
Guess what I’ll do?
I’ll refresh your memory when you said ”I want you”
Now should I keep going or should we call truce?
(You think you’re cute, right? Hahaha)
You bet your sweet ass I do
(I’m Mary Poppins, b)
And I’m Superman, mmm
(Mary P. Slim Shady)
Comin’ at you
So if you’ll still be my (babygirl)
Then I’ll still be your (Superhero, Wilma M.)
Yeah, I’m right here
(You like this)
Nope. Not anymore, Dear.
It cuts like a (knife) when I tell ya get a (life)
But I’m movin on with mine
Nick, is that your (wife)
Well tell her to shut her mouth then I’ll leave her alone
If she don’t (sing this script?) then I’m a just keep goin
(I see Mary Ann. Mary Ann’s saying ”cut the tape, cut the tape”. Knife!)

If the above doesn’t work, listen to Eminem’s ‘The Warning’ HERE.

BTW, I wonder who the hell Luis is?  Heh..

Eve Plumb, the child star who played Jan Brady on the 70s sitcom, The Brady Bunch, might be a little bitter with her co-star Maureen McCormick, who played big sister Marcia Brady.

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Ok, I couldn’t resist..

McCormick recently blogged that Oprah Winfrey had wanted all the “kids” from the TV series to reunite in September on the talk queen’s show. And they all agreed, except one. Eve Plumb.

She went on to say that she’s concerned that a “joke” that she made before releasing her book, “Here’s the Story,” a couple years ago, may be the reason why. At the time, McCormick had suggested to the press that she and Plumb had a lesbian affair. Once the media caught wind of it, it spread like wildfire across the internet and the gossip tabloids. But she says it was merely a joke gone wrong, and she she meant no harm.

She blogged:

“All of us said yes except for one person, Eve Plumb, who used to be my best friend but now apparently wants to distance herself from the show and, most troubling, from me. I have no idea why, unless she’s mad at the joke I made a few years ago that we’d had a lesbian love affair. I made the crack to be funny, and for shock value. I’m sorry if she took offense.”

Plumb has yet to respond publicly but instead took to her publicist, Mark Measures, to give her side of the story. And that is that there isn’t one. Or so she claims..

Measures responded: “No one from ‘Oprah’ called. We haven’t turned down anything. There is no feud.”

[FN]

The wife of Gary Coleman, Shannon Price, was arrested on a domestic violence charge last night in  Santaquin, Utah, where the couple reside.

The two were involved in a spat when Price muscled her way around the house, breaking belongings of her husband’s.

She was booked for two misdemeanors and later on $1,205 bond. Poor Gary, the guy is 3- feet-tall and this woman is a 6-foot-tall, husky Appalachian! Bitch has second and third helpings of the grits, that’s for sure.

Look at her mug shot. There’s a whole lot of “not right” in those eyes!

[TMZ]

Anna Kournikova was involved in a bar scuffle last weekend in Las Vegas after a woman in a club threw a drink at her.

Now mind you, the way that the New York Post tells the story, you’d think it came out of the blue. There are obviously a lot of missing details about Kournikova’s involvement with the woman pre-drink tossing.

What we do know is that Anna was somehow invading the woman’s space, or so she thought, and at some point felt justified in slinging her cocktail at the tennis star. After she did Anna came flying at her, screaming and pushing.

After everyone broke it up and the hair extensions settled, Anna was left with claw marks on her neck and the drink tosser was booted from the club. Which I’m sure she expected, because stars never get kicked out of clubs. Like, ever. Unless you’re 2007 Andy Dick, that is.

Since it is impossible to avoid the fact that TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN is in theatres as of this week, Josh Duhamel appeared on JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE! the other night, because, without promotion like this, there is no way people would show up to see giant robots fight other giant robots while other stuff blows up and… oh, yeah… did I mention Megan Fox?

While on the show, Jimmy Kimmel asked Mr. Fergie about the recent incident between Will.I.am and Perez Hilton, which, according to reports, was sparked by Hilton’s less-than-kind words directed at Fergie, where he called her “fugly.”

“He goes a little below the belt, and when you poke somebody in the chest enough and when you call them enough names, I think it’s good to get your nose bloody… I kind of wish it was me.”

Yeah, well, Josh Duhamel, let me tell you what I wish for… I wish for a naked chick on a unicorn to ride into my bedroom every morning with a plate overflowing with bacon. Oh, how does that relate to you…? It doesn’t… but, now that you mention it, I wish your new movie didn’t suck so much, rendering 2-and-a-half hours of my life gone, wasted away forever. Mmmm… bacon.

Anyway, the lesson here is that you can’t always get what you want… or when you wish upon a star, your dreams come true… or one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. Words to live by, my friends… words to live by.

Enough with all of these pointless debates about which is better: Aliens or Predators, ninjas or pirates, strippers or… well, nothing is better than strippers. It is finally time to get down to something far more meaningful: TRUE BLOOD or TWILIGHT.

Now, you’re probably asking yourself – do I really care? And the answer is definitely not. However, in the interest of seeing a bunch of teenage girls who live, breathe, and obsess over everything TWILIGHT, let’s run with it.

In an interview with Marie Claire, the star of TRUE BLOOD Stephen Moyer threw down the gauntlet on this pointless vampire comparison, and gave a pretty indication as to who he thinks is awesome and who is not when you put him up around Robert Pattinson.

“He’s a pussy! He’s the Slim-Fast, Diet Coke of vampires.”

Wow… them be fightin’ words. Of course after hearing this, TWILIGHT fans ran into their rooms crying hysterically about how someone could talk about Edward like that, before their parents told them to shut up and go to sleep, because they had school in the morning.

It looks like Team True Blood is joining the mix for supernatural supremacy, and who can blame them? They’re on HBO, and they show Anna Paquin naked just about every episode. In my book, that’s an automatic win over a boring series of movies with uninteresting characters and awful actors that follow a story where nothing ever happens.

TRUE BLOOD 1, TWILIGHT 0.

You can go back to crying now, TWILIGHT fans.. oh, and overeating, too. Let’s not forget that important part of your day.

[Photo: Celebuzz]

[MarieClaire]

And the battle rages on, between Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie for the heart of Brad Pitt… wait a second…  I thought this thing was over like 3 years ago. Brad Pitt picked Jolie, adopted like 37 kids, and became Brangelina, primarily because Bradiston sounds completely retarded. Well, the war continues, as Jennifer Aniston still has supporters that think she was robbed, and that apparently includes members of Brad’s own family.

According to Now! magazine, Brad’s mom Jane remains quite fond of his ex-girlfriend.

“Jane’s seen, first hand, how difficult Angelina is,” a source revealed. “She never comes to visit the family in Missouri and is always prickly on the rare occasions they have got together. Jennifer was the total opposite — charming, friendly and the perfect daughter-in-law. She always made time to be an active part of the family, whereas Angie just turns her nose up… (Jen and Jane) speak at least a couple of times a week and Jen never misses a birthday or special occasion.”

So Brad wound up picking the one his mom didn’t like…? That’s my boy. Well played, sir.

Why would Brad Pitt select the candidate that his mom is in love with, when he has a much hotter choice with tattoos of Billy Bob Thornton’s name on her and vials of blood hanging from her neck? Do I even really need to answer that?

And I can’t speak for Brad… well, actually I can, so I will…Jennifer Aniston was on FRIENDS  and we can’t be with someone if we don’t respect what they do. She was in LEPRECHAUN though, which almost brought her back to respectability, but close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades… oh, and they tell me nuclear war, too, but I hope I’m not around to find that one out for myself.

[Now!]

Will.i.am and Perez Hilton each recorded a video explaining their side of the story after being involved in an altercation.

Will says that Perez called him a “f***ing faggot” and treated him with complete disrespect. Apparently his manager, Polo, thought so too and punched “Piggez” in the face multiple times. Heh.

As for Perez’s video, I have no idea what the bitch says because I can’t stand to listen to him speak, or to look at him for that matter.

If you want to see the whole thing go down (because who doesn’t want to see Perez get his ass kicked?!) check it out here.

By the way, yes I am having a BLAST on my vacation! Infamous Kidd is kicking ass on here though, enjoy and I will see you all next week!