For once something is actually sucking Pamela Anderson dry and not the other way around.

For awhile now, Pamela has been living in a trailer park while her home is under construction.

“I am $3 million over budget and I should have moved in over a year ago. I’m tiling the whole pool in platinum — that’s expensive!”

Dur!

$3 million over budget? Damn, she bought the home for a meager $1.4 million. Maybe Pammy is not as smart as she says she is. This whole mess is her own damn fault. Insisting on a platinum pool? Bitch, WAH!

So anyway, Pam says she cries tears of silicone every time she visits her home. She contends that she’s only got $4,000 in savings and she needs almost another million to make her home livable. I know, it’s ripping my heart out too.

I’m sure you could care less about this, as do I, but it’s just amusing to listen to a celebrity complain that the need for a platinum pool is standing in the way of moving out of a mobile home. You are also probably thinking what I’m thinking, “Get on your back, bitch, and do what you do best!” But of course I would never admit thinking that. The feminists would burn my bra – with me in it.

Wait, did I just say that out loud? Of course I did, it’s Friday. Bite me!

Cage owes $6.3 in back taxes

It seems living the good life has caught up to Nicolas Cage.

The actor apparently owes more than  $6.3 million to the IRS in back taxes. Cage has two liens against his many properties, one for $6 million, for unpaid taxes from 2006-07, and the other for $350,000 for unpaid taxes in 2002-04.

Why were his taxes so high in 2006-07? He had two hit movies that year, Ghost Rider and National Treasure: Book of Secrets. He had to have made an assload of cash as they were both hits. It seems all those elaborate homes across the world finally devoured his wallet.

About the time the $6M lien was being put on his properties he started selling.

Cage has already sold a 16th century castle in Germany and a $6M home in Bath, England. He also is letting go of his neighboring $10M castle in Bath. [Below]

The estate features an orangery, a former priory, two cottages, a ruined chapel, and comes with 35-acres of parkland and 12 acres of woodland. Viewed from above, Midford Castle resembles the trefoil design of the ace of clubs – which folklore says was the card Henry Disney Roebuck won the fortune that funded the building of the property in 1775.

How cool would that be, to live in a castle? I can’t blame him for being into the history of these buildings and all, but geeze, he owns a castle in damn near every country – and many states for that matter. (Cage is also selling estates in California, Las Vegas, and New Orleans.)

He obviously has a rough time living within his means. He wants the best possessions, and he wants all of them. Funny, he is kind of the same way with wives..

[Photograph: CelebrityHomePhotos.com]

Johnny Knoxville’s ex-wife Melanie is putting him through the ringer with a whopping $6,000 a month child support payment!

Doesn’t that seem excessive?

The former couple have a 13-year-old daughter and were married for 12 years. After their divorce Melanie was pretty much awarded half of all the couple’s bank accounts and half of what Johnny made in the crappy film, Dukes of Hazzard, which he landed $5 million for.

But apparently that wasn’t enough. And it’s not like she has their daughter full-time. They have joint custody. So I am going to assume much of this “child support” is actually for mommy.

Changing the subject a little, did you know that Knoxville’s real name is Philip John Clapp? Oh, there are SO MANY jokes he could make of that one! No wonder he goes by a different name!

[PM]

Debbie Rowe has dropped her custody fight for the Jackson children…for a hefty price.

Again.

Rowe reportedly stands to gain nearly $4 million dollars, paid by the Jackson family, in order to drop her battle for the children. This happened once before after Michael was accused of molestation in 2001. Back then, she was paid the same amount, almost $4 million, and was given a million dollar home.

Also, after she had Paris and Prince Michael, she agreed to let Jackson raise the children, but only is she was paid $8 million and then $900K annually for the next five years.

So, let’s total this all up.

$8 million to have the babies + 5 years of being paid $900K  + $1 million home  + $4 million this time + $4 million in 2001 = That’s nearly $22 fricking MILLION dollars this woman will have profitted from those children! You’d think she would have enough money by now. What a greedy wench. It’s sad for the children to know that their biological mother only cared about the money. This WILL come back to bite her in the ass..it might take a few years, but it will..

UPDATE: Rowe’s attorney denies that his client has settled for $4 million.. [LINK]

[NYP]

Michael Jackson’s will is in the hands of attorney John Branca who will be filing it in court in the near future.

The Wall Street Journal is claiming that the will was constructed in 2002 and leaves the entire $1 billion estate to Jackson’s mother, Katherine Jackson, his children and various charities. No mention of his father, Joe Jackson, who recently made a cold and bizarre appearance at the BET Awards only days after his son’s death.

Michael has mentioned in the past that his father beat him as a child. There was also a lot of emotional abuse there as well. Michael was the one one that Joe liked to single out and cut down.

Too bad that MJ’s mother, Katherine is probably an abused woman as well. So even though the money is hers it will somehow end up in the hands of her controlling, heartless husband. What hell she must be going through.

Joe wears his heart on his face. He always has a scowl, sort of like the Grinch, but icier. They say the eyes are the windows to one’s soul and this is certainly the case with Joe Jackson.

Victoria Gotti is losing her Long Island estate after not paying her mortgage for two years.

The mobster daughter and former reality star owes $650,000 to lender JPMorgan Chase. Court records state that she will lose her home.

Victoria blamed her ex-husband Carmine Agnello saying, “I was awarded full ownership of marital property, and all I inherited was a house with millions of dollars’ worth of debt. This should finally put to rest all the government lies and rumors that I have $200 million buried in my back yard.”

She also claims he took out a loan for $850,000 without her knowledge in 1997 and left her with the bill. Agnello’s lawyers deny the claims.

The home is in dire need of TLC since being featured on the reality show, “Growing Up Gotti.” It was once assessed at $4.2 million and is now being listed on the market for a mere $3.2 million.

The appeals court ruled the bank may start foreclosure proceedings.

“Good riddance,” said one neighbor of Gotti’s, anonymously of course.

[FN]

Hoping to raise money to help him with his dire financial situation, former teen heartthrob Willie Aames held a yard sale at his home in Olathe, Kansas.

Aames’ home is in foreclosure and he had to file for bankruptcy last year. The idea for the garage sale may have come from actress Tori Spelling who had a similar sale at her home in 2006.

Willie’s fans rummaged through antiques, art, furniture, stuffed wildlife and movie memorabilia.

The 48-year-old chatted with fans, signed autographs while being filmed for an upcoming television documentary about his life.

[PM]

Even though Lindsay Lohan hasn’t been working much as of late, the actress is still reportedly spending up a storm.

Lindsay’s cash flow is tight right now so she charges things and spends girlfriend Samantha Ronson’s cash freely.

Among her recent purchases are a $30K Rolex and a new Maserati which is worth about $100K.

A supposed friend of LiLo’s told the NY Daily News, “Lindsay is spending like crazy! She’s living on credit right now. She has no cash. The problem is, the money being spent is mostly Sam’s because Lindsay doesn’t really have any of her own at the moment; she’s really taken on the ‘man’ role in their romance. Sam really thinks Lindsay needs to learn how to become a recessionista and manage her money better.”

Another source agreed. “Lindsay’s money situation has never been great, but it’s only gotten worse over the last month. For every dollar she makes, she spends double. Her personal appearance fees are literally the only thing keeping her afloat. But here’s the rub: Because of her explosive relationship with Sam, she’s unable to get the type of cash she’s used to. The negative press and constant appearance cancellations are hurting her pocketbook.”

Lindsay told Nylon magazine recently that she is seeking employment and is considering modeling. She also claims to have aan upcoming project with Sean Penn.

“I wouldn’t say I feel flush. But I wouldn’t pretend to have less than the most spectacular life. I’m more worried about people who don’t have jobs.”

- John Malkovich on losing a huge chunk of his personal fortune to Wall Street scam artist Bernie Madoff.

[Photograph: ChristianCoigny.com / WENN]