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O.J. Simpson Sentenced to (at Least) 15 Years in Prison

Friday, December 5th, 2008

This creepy murdering bastard is finally going to serve some time in jail – even though it won’t be in the name of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson.

O.J. Simpson was sentenced to at least 15-years in prison today for the armed robbery and kidnapping attempt last year in a Las Vegas hotel room.

He is eligible for parole after 6 years.

Before sentencing Simpson did his best to appear vulnerable and fragile, expressing his remorse and supposedly fighting back tears. He told the court, “I stand here today sorry, somewhat confused. I feel apologetic to people of state of Nevada.”

Of course he does. They have his balls in their hands. As for Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman’s families, no such remorse or apology..

Judge Jackie Glass is my new hero. She’s no paid-off pansy ass judge like Mr. Ito was.

Glass said she was shocked that the former Heisman trophy winner decided to address the court. She added that his incriminating words on tape were more powerful than those he used in the courtroom. She handed him his ass on a platter. She said,

“Everything in this case was on tape. And its your own words, Mr. Simpson, your own words, that that brought you here to this seat in my courtroom. The evidence in this case was overwhelming. You went to the room. You took guns. You used force. You took property, and in this state, that amounts to robbery with the use of a deadly weapon.”

Simpson begged for mercy.

“I didn’t want to steal anything from anybody. I just wanted my personal things. I was stupid. I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was doing anything illegal. I thought I was confronting friends. I thought I was retrieving my things. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody and I didn’t mean to steal anything,” he said.

Simpson’s attorneys plan to appeal the convictions.

Ron Goldman’s father attended the sentencing and afterwards called Simpson a “scumbag”.

That’s a gentle way of putting it.

Buh-bye, bitch!

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Blake Fielder-Civil: “I Introduced Amy to Heroin, Crack and Self-Harm”

Monday, December 1st, 2008

Now that the husband of Amy Winehouse, Blake Fielder-Civil, is out of prison and into rehab, the former junkie believes it is best for the couple to separate.

He also admitted to being the one who got Amy hooked on drugs.

In a recent interview he confessed,

“I dragged Amy into it and without me there is no doubt that she would never have gone down that road. I ruined something beautiful. Now I have to let her go to save her life. I am not abandoning her. I am doing this out of love.

I have had to live with that for the past year that I have been in prison and I have got so much remorse.

I feel like killing myself. I feel like f***** dying.

Listen to a clip of Blake’s interview here.

He has admitted that he turned one of the world’s best singer’s into a malnourished, scrawny, full-blown drug addict. He said that Amy only smoked a little weed before they hooked up.

“I made the biggest mistake of my life by taking heroin in front of her. I introduced her to heroin, crack cocaine and self-harming. I feel more than guilty.

The first time Amy took crack she asked me, ‘Can I try a bit of that?’ Crack is the nastiest drug. It makes you paranoid, unreasonable, edgy and totally suspicious of everyone. And you can get hooked on it straight away. But I was weak and an addict and I let Amy take some.

I didn’t stop it from happening. For that I take full responsibility. It became something we did as well as heroin. And then our lives fell apart.”

Blake also revisited the frightening first seizure that Amy suffered during the summer of 2007. He says his wife almost died in front of him.

“I was there when Amy suffered her first seizure. I still break down thinking about it. We had been taking drugs all day long. Heroin and crack.

I started crying and I lay her down in the recovery position. I cleared her airways to make sure she wasn’t choking. But her jaw was closed tight. I tried to stop her from biting her tongue when she was on the floor

It was heartbreaking, seeing someone you love more than yourself, someone you would die for, someone you would kill for on the floor shaking.”

He says when Amy finally came around, she had no idea who he was and was hateful.

“I will go to my grave with that picture of Amy asking me, ‘Who are you? Who are you?’ She didn’t know who I was. I told Amy, ‘I’m your husband’. I knew f***ing then that I had ruined something beautiful. It was all my fault. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life.”

Blake will be released from the rehabilitation clinic on December 30th, just in time for the new year. But he says that he won’t be spending New Year’s Eve with his wife.

“Now the most dignified thing I can ever do in my life is to release somebody I love from my f***ing grasp, from my clutches.

“When I see pictures of Amy and the state she’s in it tears my heart out. I just want to pick her up and help her. But I can’t..because I’m the man who caused it all. It scares me to death that I can’t fix Amy. But for her recovery I have to leave her alone. I will never stop wanting Amy and loving her and craving her. More than anything I am addicted to Amy.

I will do anything for her – and that includes walking away.”

Read more at News of the World.

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F*ck Emphysema, I Need a Smoke!

Tuesday, June 24th, 2008

Despite being recently diagnosed with and hospitalized for emphysema, Amy Winehouse has already been photographed smoking.

Amy’s father, Mitch, recently spoke out to the press saying that the disease could possibly kill her if she doesn’t quit drugs and smoking.

“The doctors have told her if she goes back to smoking drugs it won’t just ruin her voice, it will kill her,” he said.

He added that she she may need a permanent oxygen mask and possibly a wheelchair if she doesn’t get healthy.

David H. Nielson, a thoracic surgeon in San Antonio, told Us magazine, “She’s only 24 yet she has the lungs of an 80-year-old . . She’s going to get fatigued [on stage] and have to rest with supplemental oxygen. It will dramatically effect her career. To have this type of emphysema already will likely shorten her life to about 50 years of age,” says Nielson.

50? Bitch won’t make it that long. Not at the rate she is going…

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The ‘New’ Nick Hogan?

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

Hulk Hogan is all set to rescue his little boy after the spoiled sh*t gets out of jail.

You see, the Hogans are doing everything in their power to restore the family’s reputation, especially Nick’s. And they are doing it the only way they know how – with a new reality show, of course!

It seems daddy Hulk is working on a show starring his assh*le son that’s sole purpose is to create the impression that Nick is a changed man. Yeah, f*ck remorse! Let’s figure out a way to pretend like you’re a good guy!

In the video below, TMZ obtained a recorded phone call between Nick and Hulk that you have to take a listen to. You hear Nick tell his dad the basis of the show,

“It’ll be real-ality – how I’m recovering after this – celebrity outta jail.”

-Nick Hogan

Oh no he didn’t! How he is recovering? What about John?!

(Update: This is what John looks like today.  If you didn’t already hate Nick enough, you will now.)

Hulk talks about producing the show and promises not to screw Nick over money-wise. He even tells Nick he will make him the owner of the show. Hulk suggests the title, “The New Nick”. Nick sounds anxious to start work the minute he steps out of the clink. Which isn’t surprising as he has a lot of cleanup work to do.

This family will stop at nothing! Sadly, Nick hasn’t learned a damn thing from all of this, thanks to his father, who refuses to teach him the rights and wrongs in life. Unfortunately jail can’t do that for him.

Hulk’s Reality Conspiracy

[Video courtesy of TMZ]

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Surprise, Surprise . . Spencer and Heidi are Terrible Tippers

Monday, May 19th, 2008

Heidi Montag and self important boyfriend Spencer Pratt treated themselves to a nice dinner with a couple of friends at a Los Angeles restaurant Saturday night…camera crew in tow, no doubt.

Their bill came to a total of $783. Included on the tab was 12 shots of Platinum Patron which runs $60 a shot! Spencer, being the man that he is, flipped the bill, but only left $800. That means a mere $17 tip for the lucky waitress who was fortunate enough to have the pleasure of waiting on these morons.

Once filming had stopped, the waitress went to the producer of the show and asked about the whopping 2% tip. He then forked out $60 of his own money, bringing the total tip to just under 10%. Not excellent tipping skills.

So waitstaff and bartenders in L.A. take note, and don’t do these two any favors.

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Spencer Pratt Does Anal Sex

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

In the latest issue of Radar magazine, Spencer Pratt’s advice column ‘Yo, Spencer!’ gets a little dirty.

YO SPENCER! How long do you have to date someone before it’s appropriate to bring up the possibility of anal sex?

If you’re dating a guy, right away. If you’re dating girl, I think you’ll know pretty quick if she’s into that. If they’re not bringing it up, it’s not something on their agenda. That’s just realistic. My boxing coach Dirty Phi says, “If you stick your pinkie in there, and then another finger, and then another, and she responds happily, then it’s cool.”

Ok, this is almost too much. Spencer talking about anal is pretty raunch. But lo and behold, even when talking about something this foul, Spencer always finds a way to drop hints about how cool he is. “My boxing coach says…” In other words, “Hey everyone, I just started boxing this week, and I want everyone to know because it ups my hip factor.”

Poor Spencer, I don’t know if there is anyone out there who tries harder…

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CSI’s Gary Dourdan Busted With LOTS of Drugs!

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008

Gary Dourdan was busted by Palm Springs police officers when they found him sleeping in his car at 5:21am yesterday morning.

Police say the actor had heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drugs on him. Geeze dude, how high do you need to be? Holy hell, that’s enough to take down Jason Davis an elephant!

Dourdan was promptly taken to jail where he posted his $5000 bail and was released.

Hope it was worth it, moron. Say goodbye to your career!

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Wesley Snipes Sentenced to Three Years Prison for Tax Evasion!

Thursday, April 24th, 2008

Wesley Snipes was sentenced to three years prison in Florida today on tax evasion charges after a jury found him guilty in February.

Snipes failed to pay taxes for three years resulting in the government claiming he owed nearly $3 million dollars. However, his attorneys claim that he owes only $228,000.

His lawyers requested that U.S. District Judge William Terrell Hodges limit their client’s sentence in a hearing this morning. They thought he should get no prison time and no fine. Instead, he received the maximum penalty.

Snipes was acquitted of three other similar misdemeanors as well as two felony charges of tax fraud and conspiracy.

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