Andy Roddick on David Letterman: Video
Dave pretty much got his ass kicked by the ball, which was traveling at speeds in the 90-mph range!
Dave took it like a man though! Well done, Dave!
Britney Letterman Video 8/18/2009
“If Britney Were President.”
Britney wore a black bikini with a red rose in her hair and sat on a desk as she read the Top 10 list off. You have to admit, she looked pretty good..
Here’s the list:
10. I’d be the first President to wear eyeshadow since Nixon
9. We would only invade fun places like Cabo
8. Free pie for everybody
7. My situation room would be a cabana in the Palm resort in Las Vegas
6. I’d lure Osama out of hiding with the irresistible scent of my new fragrance, “Circus Fantasy”
5. Every Presidential news conference would feature costume changes
4. America might have a more coherent fiscal strategy
3. Challenge U.S. to put nightclub on the moon by the end of the decade
2. Three words: Vice President Diddy
1. Finally the media would pay some attention to me
The joke was intended to poke fun at Bristol, who had a baby late last year, however, it was taken as a reference to their 14-year-old daughter, Willow.
Last week Sarah Palin , Willow and Rudy Giuliani attended a Yankees game together. Dave thought it was Bristol who was at the game with her mother, and he joked: “They had a wonderful time . . The toughest part of her visit was keeping Eliot Spitzer away from her daughter.”
Dave says he didn’t know that 14-year-old Willow was in attendance with her mother and Rudy.
Todd Palin responded with: “Any ‘jokes’ about raping my 14-year-old are despicable. Alaskans know it and I believe the rest of the world knows it, too.”
Sarah Palin also shot back at Dave saying, “Concerning Letterman’s comments about my young daughter (and I doubt he’d ever dare make such comments about anyone else’s daughter): Laughter incited by sexually-perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting, but it reminds us some Hollywood/NY entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands – that acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone’s daughter, contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others.”
Dave responded to the Palin’s Monday night on his show, apologizing and saying that his joke was misunderstood.
His entire apology went as follows:
Stern danced his way onstage during his introduction then promptly busted Ellen’s balls for having too much dancing on her show.
His next topic (around 2:00 and again at 4:22) was late night TV and his disdain for comedian/ ex-Tonight Show host Jay Leno. He pulled no punches!
“I didn’t like Jay. I never liked Jay. I can’t stand Jay.
“I have never seen anybody who behaves like a robot like that. This guy, I watched his final show, he says goodbye to the Tonight Show, he’s reading if off a teleprompter for crying out loud. Where’s the emotion? Where’s the humanity? Here’s the host that we want to watch!”
He motions to Dave.
“I went on his show one time. I brought out two lesbians and he walked off his own show. I knew it wouldn’t last.”
Dave also brought up Sacha Baron Cohen’s character Bruno and his flying into the MTV Movie Awards in ass-less pants.
“I understand it was all planned when Sacha Baron Cohen did it, but I HID IT from them! And I put a towel around my buttocks, and no one knew I was going to fly-in naked like that, until the very last minute.
I mean, this was an innovation, an innovation that should be honored. No one should steal that from me.”
I love, love, love Howard! I know he is lewd, rude and crude, but I think he is great. I love people who aren’t afraid to be who they are, and he is certainly one of those people!
Dave and Mary chatted about her Mary Tyler Moore Show days with co-star, Ed Asner. He asked her, “Is he is the book? Do you talk about Ed Asner”? Mary smiles coyly and replies, “Yes I do talk about Ed Asner in the book.”
She shifts uncomfortably and continues. “I talk about how one hiatus [from the Mary Tyler Moore Show] they decided to rearrange the inside of the studio where we shot the show. When we came back, I hadn’t had a chance to look where I was going or where the new dressing room was. I opened the door to what I thought was my dressing room, and was confronted with Ed Asner completely naked.”
Dave: “Wow!”
Mary: “He was glistening from the shower! And I just want to say, I know that he’s admired for his enormous talent!”
Oh no. This is like your mom bragging about banging your dad! Ear muffs! Lalalalalala – I can’t hear you!!
They aired on Tuesday night’s Late Night with David Letterman show.
10. Poconos offers newlyweds free room with champagne-glass Jacuzzi.
9. If I’m gonna catch Larry King, I’d better get going.
8. Still drunk from St. Patty’s, dude!
7. She needed a green card.
6. When you’re my age and look like I do, if someone says they’ll marry you, you do it.
5. Don’t have to listen to any more crap from that quack Dr. Phil.
4. I finally fit into my dream dress!
3. Free cake
2. Got tired of waiting for Paris Hilton.
1. Figured at the least we’d get a mediocre Top Ten out of it.
[Regina Lasko, David Letterman and family: PICS]
Yup. I sure do. Here are some pics taken within the last year or two.
Not really a looker, more of a plain Jane. No Hollywood botox babe for this guy!
[Photo: David Letterman and Regina Lasko]
Before reading his Top Ten list he told the audience,
“On Thursday, at 3 p.m., March 19, 2009, at the Teton County Courthouse in Choteau, Montana, I was married to Regina Lasko. Regina and I began dating in February of 1986, and I said, ‘Well, things are going pretty good, let’s just see what happens in about ten years . . . I had avoided getting married pretty good for, like, 23 years, and I, honestly, whether this happened or not, I secretly felt that men who were married admired me. Like I was the last of the real gunslingers, you know what I’m saying?’”
The trip to the Montana courthouse was anything but romantic. The couple’s truck got stuck in mud and Dave had to walk 2 miles back to the house with 50-mile-an-hour winds pounding away at him.
He described the scenario, “It’s not Beverly Hills, it’s Montana. And the whole way, I’m thinking, ‘See, smart ass, see you try to get married and this is what happens.”
Letterman and Lasko met while she was working for him back in 1986. The couple had a child, Harry in 2003.
[Us]
Is Joaquin Phoenix Andy Kaufman reincarnated or has he seriously gone mad?
I think that he is in character, what character, I don’t know, and whether drugs are involved or not, I also don’t know.
He seems like a nutjob who has been smoking a whole lotta something. But I think he’s toying with us, taking his acting skills and playing a prank. And why wouldn’t he? It’s called working the media! You can keep your name in the headlines by calling attention to yourself and besides, f***ing with media HAS to be a total joy. I would totally do it if I was famous..
