“I can’t stand her. She can suck it!”

- Pamela Anderson on Republican vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin.

[WENN]

Just when you thought Paris Hilton couldn’t love herself anymore than she already does, she goes ahead and makes a documentary about her life.

The brilliantly named (hardly!), ‘Paris, Not France‘, is supposed to have a sort of ‘Truth or Dare‘ (Madonna’s 1991 revealing documentary) feel to it.

The film features interviews with Hilton’s parents, sister Nicky, publicist Elliott Mintz and various Hollywood bigwigs such as Donald Trump. All singing her praises, I’m sure.

Paris is followed around as she does everyday errands and conducts business.  You see Paris working in Japan, and Paris catching a burger at a drive-thru window…it’s supposed to make you think that Paris is just your everyday average girl-next-door.

In one scene Paris is filmed while in the driver’s seat of her car.  She ponders her life saying,

“People see me as this Barbie with a perfect life.  Maybe that’s what they like.  I don’t know..”

That’s some deep sh*t, there.

Director, Adria Petty, says, “I think she’s talented at being an incredible model.  She’s a very beautiful and intriguing woman and the camera loves her.  In a way that it doesn’t love other people.”

I can already see the spoofs now.

I think she should have just named the movie, “Look at Me,” or “I’m Hot, You’re Not,” or simply, “There’s Actually a Head Attached to This Vagina.”   Yeah, I like that one.

Although it was well known that Faith Evans‘ husband, Christopher Wallace a.k.a. The Notorious B.I.G., had numerous affairs, Faith never really talked about her struggles with her husband’s infidelities, until now.

Evans, 35, admits that she used to take her frustrations out on the women her husband slept with by assaulting them.

In her new autobiography, Keep The Faith, she admits that one of those women was rap star Lil’ Kim.

She says that one day after a huge fight with her husband, she returned home and found Biggie and Kim together.

“I got to Big’s bedroom door, turned the knob, and went inside. As soon as I saw a small lump next to Big’s large frame, I flew into a rage, ran over to the side of the bed, and pulled back the covers. I grabbed some chick out of the bed and started beating her ass.  I stopped throwing punches for a minute to get a good look at the chick I was beating up. It was Lil’ Kim. She was completely butt-naked, yelling as I pushed her around the room.”

Kim was promptly escorted from the couple’s home, doing some damage to Faith’s car on her way out.

Faith adds,

“I have to say I actually felt some pity for Kim. Big had a wife, and she settled for messing with him. Kim still settled for being the other woman. It seemed pretty sad to settle for that.”

That’s funny.  Doesn’t Tupac, Biggie’s archenemy, claim to have stuck it to Faith in his song, “Hit ‘Em Up”?  Yes.  Yes, he does.  Pot meet kettle.

See, karma does exist!

Denise Richard’s crappy ass reality show has been canceled!

The E! channel has decided to pull the plug on the attention whore’s show, It’s Complicated.  (Even the name of the show gets under my skin!)

A source said, “The numbers started out pretty good – just over 1.5 million tuned in for the premiere episode.  But the audience has dropped off. ”

Richards sucks as a reality star about as much as she sucks as an actress.

[Photo: Extra!]

Bitch, please!

Who was the smart dumbsh*t who conjured up this gem of a slogan?

Here’s your first peek at the new ad by Stampede Light Plus featuring a super smart Jessica Simpson as their spokesperson. Doesn’t she look intelligent with that blow-up doll look on her face and her boob bursting out of her top?

In case you missed it, read about Jessica’s beer endorsement deal here.

My favorite part?

Watching the wonky eye try to keep up with the other one as she reads the cue cards..

Heh.

There is no doubt that Heather Mills is one of the most hated people in the world – especially when politicians aren’t involved.

After her highly publicized, messy divorce to Paul McCartney her image has only gotten worse. Blame that on no one but Mills herself. She has apparently gotten so bad, that even her publicist of four years has decided to dump her demanding ass.

Michele Elyzabeth released the following statement to the press:

“After working for Heather Mills for the past four years, I have decided to cease representing her. Since her divorce has become final, in my opinion, Heather has become an impossible person.

Yesterday, we engaged in a heated argument during which she called me ’stupid.’ I reminded her that she was not ‘God’ and she answered, ‘I will never ever talk to you again.’

I have been very patient in my dealings with Heather, however, I cannot take any more. I have given her substantial unpaid time and attention. I am owed money. I refuse to be subjected to her outbursts.

On reflection and given the way I have been treated, I now have sympathy with much of what the British press has reported about her.”

And to think that dumb twat was awarded $50 million dollars. That bitch will continue to make everyone and anyone’s life a living hell until she dies an old, lonely, bitter, old woman.

A judge has decided that Tricia Walsh-Smith, the bitter ex-wife of Shubert Organization head Philip Smith, went too far when she ranted publicly on YouTube about her and her estranged husband’s sex life.

She even went as far as to call his office – while being filmed – and told the secretary, “I don’t know if you know, but you know Philip and I never had sex – but he’s got Viagra and condoms and stuff here and porn movies. Just ask him what he wants me to do with them, would you?”

Now the cold hearted bitch has just 30 days to vacate their Park Avenue apartment.

Tricia, 52, has been awarded $750,000 in the divorce settlement, which is what she agreed to in the couple’s prenup.

Supreme Court Justice Harold Beeler said that Walsh-Smith was “cruel and inhuman” for taking their divorce to such a public forum.

“The posting of the defendant’s first YouTube video was a watershed event in this marriage, elevating what was still primarily a private dispute into a public spectacle,” the stated. “He has been publicly humiliated and embarrassed to an unprecedented extent.” He added that Tricia “has thrived on being in the public spotlight,” and that Smith “has suffered tremendously from this attention,” including “heart problems.”

“Had defendant not posted her videos on YouTube, a case could be made that her previous marital misconduct did not rise to the level of cruel and inhuman treatment, a claim that ironically she herself made on YouTube,” Beeler wrote.

So what did the scorned ex have to say about the judge’s decision? “I thought it sucked,” she said. “I’d be better off in Baghdad. President Bush is bringing democracy to Iraq. He should try bringing it to New York.”

Of course she says she will appeal – and will keep posting updates via YouTube.

“I’m a warrior. I’m not giving up,” she said. “I’m going to go down swinging.”

Smith, 76, just seemed happy it was over. “I’m terribly sorry it had to come to his, but I’m happy with the result,” he said.

Hogan Knows Breast – Brooke Strips For Daddy

At Brooke Hogan’s premiere party for her new lame reality series she decided she would strip down and do a burlesque show – because you know, that’s how you get yourself ahead in this world.

Never mind that daddy was going to be there!

Brooke looked like a rump roast busting out of it’s strings in her 2-sizes-too-small corset and tiny little sequined panties.

What exactly is Brooke trying to prove? She is so clueless that she doesn’t understand what a trashy stripper she looks like.

Bitch could definitely make more money stripping in Vegas than she could singing. People would pay good coin just to take a look at that mangina!

[TMZ/Celebridiot]