Dustin Diamond’s new book, Behind the Bell

Dustin Diamond is a narc.

He’s like the kid on the playground who tattles on everyone – for every little thing. And he is the kid that nobody likes, so the only way he can gain attention is by being disruptive and dramatic. This is Dustin Diamond, former child actor on the 90s television sitcom, Saved by the Bell.

For those of you who witnessed his childish behavior on the reality show, Celebrity Fit Club, you know what I am talking about. Dustin went out of his way to not follow the rules of the show while attacking castmates with a vicious, unforgiving tongue.

Now the douchebag is making news again because of a tell-all book full of behind-the-scenes secrets of Saved by the Bell. Dustin, who played Screech on the show, says that sex & drugs were everywhere in the background.

Dustin claims his co-workers smoked marijuana in their dressing rooms, he says that Mark Paul Gosselaar, who played Zack Morris, used steroids, Mario Lopez was a serial womanizer who hit on every actress, Tiffany Amber Thiesen used sex to further her career and everyone was screwing each other.

I think Dustin has no other way to get in the news except for being a complete dick. He’s just pissed because he has absolutely no career to speak of, and nobody wants to work with him. So he throws vileness out there in order to get noticed. It’s all he’s got. All the while he is accussing everyone of everything but won’t even look in the mirror at himself. I wonder if deep down he hates himself as much as we all do?

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Dustin Diamond by Spicy Pants

Probably the most annoying child star ever, Dustin Diamond is a whiny, weak, arrogant jerk off.

But I do love to hate him, and he is fun to draw..

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It’s crazy. You can’t open a magazine or watch television without seeing them promote some sort of useless product. From clothing to beauty products and even fast food. But you don’t usually see celebrities endorsing candy and you probably never will. (Unless they happen to have one named after them!) It’s one of the only things safe from being recommended by famous A-listers and sports figures.

So I wondered, what if the market for celebrity candy endorsements were hot? Who would represent what candy and why?

Well marvel no more.

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The 100 Grand bar = Tori Spelling.

But make sure you buy two!

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Dots = Victoria Beckham

They double as nipples!

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Nerds = Dustin Diamond

Because sometimes you don’t grow out of it!

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Mike & Ikes = Mike Tyson, Ike Turner

Even wife beaters love candy!

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Big Hunk = Mr. Big (Chris Noth)

Yes, here I go again with my Mr. Big affections..

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Pop Rocks = Amy Winehouse

For those pop stars that love their rocks!

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Gummi Bear = Jason Davis

As dubbed by TMZ.com..

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Troll Gummi’s = Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen

Well, duh!

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Sky Bar = Lindsay Lohan

Hollywood doesn’t want to be on the ground!

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Three Musketeers = Lindsay, Britney and Paris

Because without these three, I wouldn’t have a job!

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Wax Lips = Courtney Love

When your real mouth just won’t do!

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I’m off for a long weekend as I’m sure are a lot of you! Enjoy the long weekend and have a fabulous, safe time!

See you Monday evening!
xoxo -Spicy

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Ross the Intern is one of my favorite personalities. He alone will make the show worth watching. But Dusty Diamond? Egad!

“Get in swimsuit shape for summer with your favorite celebrities with an all new season of “Celebrity Fit Club.”

VH1’s popular fitness, nutrition and drama series is back for a fifth season premiering in April 2007.

Ready to shed their inhibitions’ and a few pounds the “Celebrity Fit Club 5″ cast is set to climb on the giant scales as they throw their weight around and compete for cash and prizes.

This season’s cast includes Maureen McCormick (The Brady Bunch), Dustin Diamond (Saved By The Bell), Tiffany (pop star), Cledus T. Judd (country music artist), Da Brat (Hip Hop Artist), Ross “The Intern” Mathews (The Tonight Show), Kimberley Locke (American Idol) and Warren G (rapper).

This spring will have them embarking on their own grueling fitness journeys while also working together to reach their fitness goals.

The cast for season five of “Celebrity Fit Club” is our fittest yet so drill sergeant Harvey Walden IV has plans to work them harder than ever.

Also back are nutritional & diet expert, Dr. Ian Smith and host ANT and this season we have a new psychotherapist, Stacy Kaiser.”

(VH1)

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