So the most entertaining part of “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Outta Here” was when Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag wanted to quit.

Poor Heidi is bitching because her boots and socks are wet. She looks like she has Vaseline all over her face.

Spencer prays out loud to God asking for him to help his wife. These two always pray out loud, so everyone can hear. Nothing is sacred.

So the two prima donnas either realize they really do hate the jungle and want to quit, or they decide to throw a fit because it gets them attention. I’m sure it was the latter.

When the couple tell their cast mates they are thinking of quitting, Lou Diamond Phillips asks them to reconsider, for charities sake.

Spencer’s response?

“That’s why we chose the two biggest charities in the world.”

Phillips replied, “So, they don’t need the money?”

Then, Ben Silverman, Chairman at NBC Universal then gets on the phone to Spencer and tries talking him through the situation. He says, “Spencer, just tell me what’s bothering you.”

Spencer’s response is as douchey as you would expect. Even worse actually.

He said: “I’m too rich and too famous to be sitting here with these people and cleaning up their sh*t in the jungle, my man. This cast is devaluing our fame right now. I’m sitting next to VH1 comediennes I have never seen before. I’m sitting next to wrestlers. It’s just not the show – I thought it would be all celebrities.. Stars of shows get treated like stars, dude. I’m f***ing supposed to be cleaning up John Salley’s sh*t in a bucket, dude. You’ve never even cleaned up your own sh*t let alone taken John Salley’s sh*t to the creek, have you?”

Please tell me Spencer Pratt REALLY had to carry John Salley’s sh*t in a bucket to a creek. If so, I think this is the greatest show ever.

Heidi Montag to be in Playboy

Hugh Hefner has confirmed that Heidi Montag will be posing for Playboy in the near future.

Of course Heidi hasn’t been able to keep quiet about it and has even blabbed about the paycheck. (In case you’re curious, she will be paid $500,000 for the spread.)

When asked about The Hills star, Hefner said,  “I think she is going to be (in Playboy).”

Montag says she is doing the shoot as “a gift” for her meathead husband Spencer Pratt. Yeah, right. Heidi will do anything for attention. Whether it be pose naked or pray to God via her Twitter account.

In a couple years she and Spencer will be doing porn – it will be the only way they’ll be able to get attention. Lawd knows their talent isn’t going to get them very far.

[SP]

I’d say that this isn’t a very good shot of Audrina Patridge, but I haven’t noticed because I’m in love with her shoes!

For more than 100 new promotional photos of the Season 5 cast (highly airbrushed of course), check out MTV.

Heidi Montag bought doofus Spencer Pratt a sweet ass 1968 SS Camaro as a so-called early wedding gift.

Proof that good things do not always happen to good people.

[Photograph: © PacificCoastNews.com]

Now maybe we know where Heidi Montag gets the whole attention whore thing from.

Her mother.

Anytime a parent pulls a Michael Lohan (a.k.a. goes running to the media about their kid’s problems) I get suspicious. The latest parent to do so is Heidi’s mother, Darlene Egelhoff, 46.

One good thing about this woman – she can’t stand Spencer Pratt either.

She says,

“He’s manipulative and seems to have power over Heidi. I would like to see a blood test from Mexico. It wouldn’t surprise me if he had her drugged.”

Ok, now who’s doing the drugs, lady? Let’s not get carried away here, these two are like peas in a pod.

Anyhow, she continues, “Spencer has tried to cut everyone out of her life. I’ve been honest with Heidi, and it’s caused our relationship to decline. I’m more devastated about that than the marriage, because I’m confident the marriage won’t work out.”

Momma goes on to say that before good ol’ Spenc came into their lives she and Heidi were inseperable.

“She was my Velcro, always attached to me. I want the best for my daughter – and he’s definitely not it.”

Yeah, when kids grow up they usually don’t hang out with their parents very much. Sounds like mom is jealous. Maybe because Heidi was her meal ticket – or maybe because she just hates Spencer that much.

She doesn’t stop there with her Spencer bashing. “I think Spencer wants to possess Heidi more than marry her. God says love your enemies, but I never expected it to be my son-in-law.”

When asked how long she expects the marriage to last she says bluntly, “Six months. I think it’s the biggest mistake Heidi’s ever made.”

So as it turns out, the Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt wedding wasn’t as spontaneous as they would have liked us to believe.

Duh!

Cameras were in tow as the couple eloped in Cabo San Lucas, and also have been following them during their honeymoon.

Executive producer Liz Gately confirms, “MTV is currently filming Heidi and Spencer in Mexico, as we were expecting to capture them on vacation. Fans will be able to see the exclusive footage from the ceremony in an upcoming episode, and we will continue to follow the newlywed’s relationship as it plays out in real life.”

Anything and everything is marketable to these two. If they ever have a kid, that child will be pimped out to the media, not to mention the actual birth being recorded and sold on DVD.

But let’s not think about them procreating. Because if ever there were an evil spawn..

Heidi Montag and longtime boyfriend Spencer Pratt eloped in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico on November 20th.

I’m sure you’re elated..

What Spencer said to Heidi as they exchanged vows,

“Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person. Being with you, I feel complete. I’m honored to even be able to call you my wife. You are the most amazing, loving and caring woman on this planet. I will love you forever and always.”

He sure lays it on thick. That boy is whipped. He knows without her he would be a big fat nothing – and there would be no more Us Weekly covers..

[Us]

That annoying twit, Heidi Montag, is back with another super sickening single, Overdosin’.

She sounds like a fricking singing computer – or a mouse on helium. It’s awful, awful, awful. Please Heidi, won’t you do a live show and show us how truly talented you really aren’t?

[ONTD]