Looking for that perfect Valentine’s Day card for your significant Guido or Guidette?

Well look no further! College Humor created these Valentine’s Day cards just for you!

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So I watched the SNL Christmas Special tonight and totally forgot about this awesome SNL Short.

One of my favorites! Comedy gold!

I’ve included the lyrics:

On Christmas Eve the Gentiles gather
‘Round the Christmas tree
They stay at home and party with
Their Goyishe family
They disappear one day each year
And pass the egg nog ’round
But it’s all right, ’cause that’s the night
The Jews control the town

Well it happens every year on Christmas Eve
All the happy Christian people take their leave
Yeah, the streets are deserted, and that’s big news
It’s Christmastime for the Jews

Yeah, the holiday party starts ’bout 6 PM
Ain’t nobody recreating Bethlehem
Yeah, the Three Wise Men, that’s a big ol’ snooze
Christmastime for the Jews

They can finally see King Kong without waiting in line
They can eat in Chinatown and drink their Swedish wine
They can crank Barbara Streisand on the streets they cruise
Christmastime for the Jews

“They can gang up on the Quakers,
Play for the Lakers,
They can do what they wanna,
Even blow off Madonna
Get a chance to drive a tractor,
Win on Fear Factor
See Fiddler on the Roof with actual Jewish actors

Now they really get the party going after dark
Circumcising grateful squirrels in the city park
Picking fights in the bar knowing they can’t lose
Christmastime for the Jews.

Now it’s nearly 10:30, yes it’s time for bed
“Daily Show” reruns dancing in their head.
Maybe next year they’ll learn to hold their booze.

Christmastime for the Jews
Christmastime for the Jews (Don’t ya see now …)
Christmastime for the Jews.

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(I am posting this again, in case you missed it the other times I have mentioned it.)

The internet is a strange place.

It makes the world so small. When I was a kid, long before the internet, it was a pretty big deal to have a pen pal abroad. These days you can talk to people in any country, at anytime, with a stroke of the keyboard.

It was on the internet that I found a wonderful lady named Jo Moseley. Jo was diagnosed with terminal cancer a year ago and was told she had limited time. She looked forward to what she thought may have been her last holiday season. At some point I believe a friend helped Jo to organize a Facebook group called “Christmas Cards for Jo”. It was Jo’s wish to receive Christmas cards from around the world. And she did. She received dozens of cards and took photos of them for Facebook. It obviously really warmed her heart.

Well, Jo is a fighter and is still fighting strong. She has been through and continues to go through a LOT. Surgeries, chemotherapy, you name it. And the poor girl has to stay in her apartment because she can’t risk falling ill.

Jo is requesting Christmas cards once again this holiday season. Even a generic card with a note of inspiration would be much appreciated by her. She’s a very sweet lady who could use a little love from around the world.

Send her some love from your part of the world:

Karen Jo Moseley
802 Troy Rd. APT #105
Albert Lea, MN 56007

Do it. It will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Join the “Christmas Cards for Jo” Facebook group

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Adam Sandler’s, “The Hanukkah Song” is a classic!

Drink your gin and tonica – and smoke your marijuankia! Happy Hannukah to all my Jewish friends! xxo

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Jenny McCarthy and Dean McDermott attend the ABC Family’s Elf Party, held at New York’s Bryant Park.

Jenny also brought son Evan, 7, along. She is such a good mommy.

The event has been named the largest ever gathering of Santa’s Elves in the world by the Guinness Book of World Records.

[Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com]

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Billy Mays Halloween Costume Contest

The son of the late Billy Mays has started a Billy Mays Halloween costume contest on a website dedicated to his father, WheresBillyMays.com.

I think this is just the greatest idea ever. And what an easy costume to create!

From the site:

Halloween is approaching rapidly and it goes without saying that “deceased celebrities” (and balloon boy) will most likely be a huge theme at every gathering.
There will no doubt be a multitude of people dressed as Billy Mays (or zombie Billy Mays).. it is one of the easiest costumes of all time to put together. (Beard, blue button-down, khakis, prop product, etc..) So, I’ve decided to hold a little contest for best costume.

To Enter:
1. Simply send a photo of your costume to wheresbillymays@gmail.com along with your contact info (email and/or twitter will do)
2. Be tasteful. (Zombies ARE permitted)
3. Project your voice.
4. Have fun.

Deadline for entry is Wednesday, November 4.
An experienced panel of judges (the Sullivan Productions crew and myself) will select 3 winners.

The website is pretty great all the way around. Lots of Billy Mays artwork sent in by fans, random tidbits about Billy in the media and for the price of a stamp you can even get a Billy Mays sticker sent to you.

WheresBillyMays.com

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Celebrity Halloween costume idea  2009

Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson!

Dress as the crazy, unstable, lesbian duo known as Lindsay & Sam this Halloween 2009! A fun and original idea for Halloween, you can be instantly recognizable, even if you don’t look like either one!

Here’s what you’ll need to make it happen:

Lindsay:

A scraggly strawberry-blonde wig. The worse the wig, the better. Of course a sideboob is in order. Try and wear something with long armhole, this helps. No bra = +10 points for authenticity.

Of course you must apply generous amounts of self tanner, preferably streaky, to face, (not neck), legs, (not feet). And don’t forget the leggings. The shinier the better.

Gladiator sandals. Almost any sort will do. And of course, a can of RedBull makes the perfect accessory. Unless you have a gram of blow or something.

Samantha:

A Fedora, for starters, and a retro t-shirt the size of something a little boy would wear. Don’t forget to bandage down your boobs!

The pants must be acid wash skinny jeans. Topped off with some colorful Nike Dunks.

A pack of Marlboro reds tucked in your sleeve,and your only makeup is dark circles under your eyes.

*Poof!* Instant crazy Hollywood Halloween lesbians! Hooray!

More celebrity costume ideas to come, you all know that Halloween is my favorite holiday..

If you think of any other additions to these costumes, let me know! -xxoo

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I know a lot of people are freaked out on Friday the 13th, but I wonder, what’s all the fuss about?

So I did a little investigating into the superstitions of the freaky Friday, and the fears so many suffer because of it.

First off, the correct name of the Friday the 13th phobia is Paraskevidekatriaphobia. Say that once, fast!

Here are some Friday the 13th, and the #13, superstitions and facts. Amaze and impress your friends with your vast knowledge sometime today!

• The 13 ball is the least likely number to come up in the UK lottery, since it’s inception in 1994.

• It has been suggested that if 13 people all sit down at a table together at once, that they will all will die within a year.

• Beware of naming your children anything with 13 letters, example, Charles Manson. (Funny, my name is 13 letters long..)

• There are 13 witches in a coven.

• We have 3 Friday the 13ths in 2009, February, March and again in November!

• The British Navy is notoriously afraid of Friday the 13th. Nonetheless, it built a ship named Friday the 13th. On its maiden voyage, the vessel left dock on a Friday the 13th and was never heard from again.

• If you were born on a Friday the 13th (hi Mom!) then today is your LUCKY day!

• Many tall buildings do not have a 13th Floor, because if they did, no one would want to stay on them. Most hospitals d not have a room 13.

• A baker’s dozen is described by a dozen loaves of bread with the 13th being an offering to the devil so he would not spoil the other 12.

• More than 60 million people do not go to work, drive or leave their house on this unlucky day.

• The seals on the back of a dollar bill include 13 steps on the pyramid, 13 stars above the eagle’s head, 13 war arrows in the eagle’s claw and 13 leaves on the olive branch.

• President Franklin D. Roosevelt would not travel on the 13th day of any month and would never host 13 guests at a meal.

• The ill-fated Apollo 13 launched at 13:13 CST on 4/11/70. The sum of the date’s digits is 13. The explosion that crippled the spacecraft occurred on April 13th.

• According to the British Medical Journal the risk of a car accident in the UK increases by more than 50% on Friday the 13th.

• The first person to die in a car accident was killed in New York City on Sept. 13, 1899.

Enjoy your day and drive especially careful on your way home…bwahahahaha!

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John Mayer and Matchbox Twenty singer Rob Thomas joined together to spread holiday cheer to sick children in New York.

The two men performed a private concert at 95.5 WPLJ-FM’s 17th Annual Holiday Concert at Blythedale Children’s Hospital on Monday.

They sang Ben E. King’s Stand by Me and stayed after to sign autographs for the kids.

The event raised approximately $250,000 for the hospital.

After a little digging around I found a recording of the event…listen below!

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Britney Spears posted a Christmas card on her website (BritneySpears.com) for all of her fans to enjoy.

The card features herself and her two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James.

Also available on Britney’s site, a fully customizable 2009 calendar. You can pick your own style, as well as add your own text and photos.

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