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J. Lo. New Song: “Fresh Out the Oven” LISTEN

Thursday, October 8th, 2009

j-lo-fresh-out-oven

Jennifer Lopez, a.k.a. J. Lo., is trying to make a comeback in the music world .

She’s released, “Fresh Out the Oven” a new dance track featuring Pitbull. Already I hate the name of the song! What was that? Bun in the oven?

Not trying to be a J. Lo. hater, but really, she isn’t ‘Jenny from the Block’ anymore, y’all. The song lacks anything catchy. Except for “Break it off here, break it off there”, and all I can think is of J. Lo. breaking off Pitbull’s wang!

Jennifer has a new website promoting the mediocre song, called WhoisLola.com. She has an alter ego and her name is Lola. Oh lawd, hasn’t someone done this before? *ahem* Beyonce *ahem* Methinks someone is trying to beat Beyonce at her own game. Good luck with that one, Jen.

Love it or hate it?

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Jennifer Lopez Does Her Best Bret Michaels Impression

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

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Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez at the launch of Topshop: Topman Dinner held at Balthazar, NYC.

If I didn’t know better I’d say that in that top pic J. Lo is imitating Poison front man and Rock of Love reality star, Bret Michaels! Just throw a bandanna and spray painted cowboy hat on her!

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[Photos: ©BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM]

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Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s Marriage Crumbling

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008

lopez-marc

Rumors have been flying that uber diva Jennifer Lopez and her creepy looking hubby, Marc Anthony, are totally on the rocks – and have been for sometime.

Hahahaha!  I knew this would happen and called it back when they first got together.

Marc and J. Lo hooked up while he was still married to former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres (with two children). One week after the divorce from Torres was final – he wed Lopez. Not a great way to start a new marriage.

And like his marriage to Lopez, he renewed his vows with his ex-wife shortly before the couple called it quits.

Page Six is reporting that Jennifer has been sending her assistant on the road with her husband to make sure he isn’t sticking his peen where it doesn’t belong.

The couple have also put their $8.5 million Bel Air estate on the market. They were married there in June 2004.

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Attack of the Evil Side Boob

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

Jennifer Lopez shows a fleshy armpit in Athens while performing at the Olympic Stadium.

[DailyMail]

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J. Lo’s Ass Held Her Down During Triathalon

Monday, September 15th, 2008

So apparently Jennifer Lopez isn’t as strong of a triathalon athlete as the gossip rags have been portraying.

Splash news is reporting that she “almost drowned” while swimming through the Nautica Triathlon.

The waves were to high for her as she started to submerge and was left missing for a couple of seconds until her trainer helped her out. When she reached enough depth where she could stand on her feet she gave a big smile showing relief.

Well, I’m not surprised.  Try filling your pants with and anvil then swimming any great distance!

Let me add that while I think finishing any triathlon is commendable, I’m not above listing the other well known celebs who beat J. Lo’s ass.

Malibu Mayor Pamela Conley Ulich, with a time of 01:53, Heather Tom finished with 2:00, Eliza Dushku  with 2:22, and Emily Warfield also finished with 2:22.

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When Your Career Sucks, Land Your Own Reality Show

Thursday, April 24th, 2008

Ever since Jennifer Lopez married Marc Anthony her career has gone down the toilet.

Jennifer’s musical career has taken a turn for the worse and the movies she’s done have been less than mentionable. Not even J Lo’s once-famous ass makes headlines anymore. Kim Kardashian has the ass in the bag these days. Even if it is filled with cottage cheese.

So Ms. Lopez has done what so many other falling stars have, she scored a reality series.

Her new show on TLC will highlight her life as mother and as an entertainer, and will follow her as she promotes her new fragrance. Lopez will also co-executive produce the show. She says, “I’m looking forward to sharing this exciting journey together.”

TLC president, Angela Shapiro-Mathes, tells People.com, “Jennifer is unbelievably passionate about life and will be an incredible role model for our audience.”

It’ll be interesting as Jennifer tries to show everyone how ‘real’ she is. I’m sure she’ll downplay her lavish lifestyle and try to come off as the same old Jenny from the block. But we know better. I don’t know any Jenny on my block that wears fur eyelashes and gives her babies diamond encrusted rattles, how about you?

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Uh Oh..They Look Like Daddy..

Thursday, March 20th, 2008

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Hooray! They look like their sunken-faced creepy dad! Ha!

People

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Ben Affleck Congratulates Jennifer Lopez on Her Pregnancy

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

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Despite telling “Details” magazine that his relationship with the Latin superstar “was probably bad for my career,” Ben sent a personal message to Jennifer and hubby Marc Anthony extending his best wishes, say sources.

Ben, now married to Jennifer Garner, “raved how fatherhood has left him thrilled – and he said he knows what a great mother J.Lo will be,” the source said. “While the two have had little communication since their highly publicized breakup, Jennifer was deeply touched by Ben’s heartfelt message.”

source

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J Lo Baby Bump Watch

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

[Photos removed at the request of the rightful owner - see source link for pics]

Jennifer Lopez is getting bigger every day! Twins could definitely be a possibility, ya think?

Source

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