Joan Rivers is accusing Brooke Shields of being fake and self-serving at Michael Jackson’s memorial service last month.

The plastic evil old hag says that Brooke only used the time to speak to get “face time” for herself.

When the paparazzi asked Joan, who was recently the subject of a Comedy Central roast,  “Who would you like to roast?”

She quickly said, “Michael Jackson!” Then switched to, “Brooke Shields! Who was Michael’s dearest friend. Hadn’t seen him since 1993…It’s called face-time.”

OUCH! I can’t stand Joan. She’s cold and evil! Both her and her daughter Melissa really get under my skin, like a bad rash. Joan constantly spews bile from her mouth – with a grin on her face. Or wait, is that a grin? It’s so hard to tell when her face doesn’t move..

So what do you think? Is Joan right this time? Was Brooke exploiting Michael and their friendship? Or was Joan out of line to even go there?

Watch the video of Joan Rivers bashing Brooke Shields here!

[TMZ]

Barbara Walters spoke with the celebrity party planner who walked out on the season finale of the Celebrity Apprentice on her Sirius radio show, Here’s Barbara.

Barbara and her co-host Bill Geddie spoke with David Tutera who went on the show to talk about the reason why he left so abruptly. And yes, the reason was Joan. Not only was she condescending towards him, she also had absolutely no direction with her final task and expected him to take control of the situation. Read on..

BARBARA WALTERS: You were supposed to do a beautiful room for Joan, and also a room for Annie Duke, right?

DAVID TUTERA: That’s correct. Yes

BARBARA WALTERS: OK. And then you quit, and people said, ‘How could he walk out?’ And Joan was furious. She was on television this morning. She said you didn’t have a hissy fit, you had a sissy fit. Twelve hours before they were supposed to show the rooms, you, David Tutera, walk out. Why?

DAVID TUTERA: Let me just start by saying that in twenty-three years of being in business, I have never left anyone, no matter how difficult they are to work with, in such a situation as that. Her behavior towards any human being was so unacceptable to me.

BARBARA WALTERS: Joan?

DAVID TUTERA: Joan Rivers.

BARBARA WALTERS: Really?

DAVID TUTERA: Such a monster I cannot begin to even explain.

BARBARA WALTERS: Wow.

DAVID TUTERA: The way it unfolded was, I was to go into the “War Room” and meet with Joan and her team, including her daughter, and get as much information from them that they needed to explain to me on how to execute a concept, the party….well, Joan and Melissa [Rivers] were completely incapable of giving me their insight on how the party should look. They had zero direction. The rules of the show were, that the producers said to us, that we cannot, me as the person executing the challenge, give the celebrities ideas.

BILL GEDDIE: Ah, that explains so much.

David Tutera on being manipulated by the producers during the “Celebrity Apprentice”:

BARBARA WALTERS: Do you think you were set up? By the producers?

DAVID TUTERA: Yes. I think I was manipulated by the producers. Not set up, but manipulated.

David Tutera on working with Joan Rivers on the “Celebrity Apprentice”:

BARBARA WALTERS: You feel, at that point, that those conversations, in which she complained and you said, OK, I quit, you feel that that all was a set up by the producers?

DAVID TUTERA: Manipulated…they got me there, they got me to do what they told me to do and then when I got into the room and they gave me no ideas, I was left to sort of stand there and defend myself.

BARBARA WALTERS: And do you think that Joan did it just cause it made for a good show? Or do you really think that she thought you were no good?

DAVID TUTERA: Absolutely. I think she did it because…she doesn’t know me. How does she know if I’m no good? She’s never seen an event that I’ve ever done. I think she did it because it made for better television.

David Tutera on working for Joan Rivers again:

BARBARA WALTERS: If she said to you, tomorrow, would you come to my house, I’m having a big party, would you do the party? What would you say?

DAVID TUTERA: Absolutely over my dead body.

_____________________

Hmm..the whole thing is just fishy. It was either fixed or Donald Trump simply chose Joan for reasons unknown – but not because she deserved it.

Check out David’s site HERE.

[Source: SIRIUS XM Radio PR]

Joan Rivers was chosen over Annie Duke as this year’s Celebrity Apprentice.

Donald Trump picked Joan for reasons I still can’t seem to wrap my mind around. She was a farking emotional wreck throughout the most of the show! She threw glasses, she called people awful names, she constantly threatened to quit.

Meanwhile Annie was working her ass off and was raising a lot of money for charity. Almost to a fault. She had one thing, and only one thing, on her mind. Winning. She completed each task beautifully, wasn’t distracted by emotions and although she was direct and sometimes brash, she outclassed Joan throughout this competition.

My hubby commented, “Trump favors Joan”, just before she was announced the winner. I had to agree. As did Celebrity Smack reader Cherie who sent me this email after watching the Celebrity Apprentice finale. It seems she felt exactly the same way I did.

Dear Spicy,

I am so mad about the outcome of Celebrity Apprentice. Am I the only one to notice that the ticket challenge specifically
said tickets were to be sold on the street to the average, everyday people? Joan’s team sold all their tickets to one wealthy person and then gave the tickets away. What is the challenge in that? And it specifically violated the instructions.
Donald Trump overlooked this violation of his instructions because it is clear he favored Joan Rivers. He tells Jessie
James to “Be Nice”, but let Joan Rivers act emotional and unprofessional. She talked over Annie at every turn.

At least America saw her lie when she said she had nothing to do with the event planner quitting. She was also told she would be assigned an event planner, and she brought in her own designer, telling the assigned planner her guy could give him some ideas on how to decorate. I did think it was unfair to Annie that this guy owned the event planning company and refused to let his employee plan Annie’s event.

Also, I have heard that Blane Trump is on the board of Joan’s charity. Can we say conflict of interest? Annie was the clear winner no matter what Donald Trump says. Joan claimed she raised her money honorably. I see nothing honorable in Joan Rivers. Donald Trump clearly favored her.

I am still on “Team Annie”, no matter what Donnie says.

Cherie R.

What do you think about the Celebrity Apprentice finale? Do you think Joan deserved to win?

Melissa and Joan Rivers on Celebrity Apprentice: My Thoughts from Spicy Pants on Vimeo.

Ok, ok, ok.

So my rant on these two wasn’t enough. I just HAD to video blog about the bitches too!

Joan and Melissa Rivers, what two spoiled, rude, whiny bitches!

Last night on Celebrity Apprentice Melissa Rivers was fired by Donald Trump, and just as I told my husband, if one of the Rivers women gets fired, the other one will have a complete meltdown and leave as well. And that’s exactly what happened.

Melissa bitched and moaned throughout the “Right Guard” task, playing the victim and accusing her teammates, Annie Duke and Brande Roderrick, of being out to get her when really, it was all in her head. (Although I am sure they though she was annoying as f*@#!)

Melissa is obviously insecure when Mommy isn’t around and doesn’t know how to function without her. Joan is her security blanket and is normally there to constantly praise her. Without her mother’s tit to nurse on, Melissa feels inadequate, unsure and thinks that the world is out to get her. She wants so badly to be recognized for what she can do, but when stripped of her mother’s company and support, she fails. Instead of proving herself, she is suspicious, accusing and insecure. Gee, no wonder everyone thinks without mommy she’d be nothing.

Not to mention the fact that I think Melissa’s face and voice are like scratching fingernails down a chalkboard. Her voice is so nasally, I mean, did they close up her sinuses when they did her nose?

It’s no wonder that Melissa is 41 and single. She was married once, back in 2000, to a horse breeder. Nevermind that bitch LOOKS like a horse! They had a kid and within a few years her husband realized that he could never compete with mommy so off went the divorce. What man could EVER stand to be with her? I mean, if you marry her, it’s like a package deal! Mommy comes with!

Anyhow, I wonder if Joan will return to Celebrity Apprentice?

Of course she will. I don’t know this to be a fact, but just look at her track record. She has thrown more than one tantrum on the show, threatening not to come back. And every single time she has come back. Drama queens do this sort of thing on a regular basis you know.

Cut the cord, bitches. After 41 years, it’s about time you do.

_______________

Watch Joan and Melissa FREAK out after Melissa is fired, it’s hysterical really..

What is Joan Rivers hiding from?

She’s wraped in a massive, gaudy fur coat, she hides behind her mask of a face and piles on the jewelry. What do you think in underneath all that fur and cosmetic nonsense? An insecure, scared little old lady, perhaps?

There are dozens of celebrities who are giving it their all in a surgical attempt to enhance themselves.

Whether they are seeking to appear younger by injecting a good portion of their face with botox, or changing their overall appearance by inserting facial implants, one thing is for certain. Many of them cross the line that goes from gorgeous to simply grotesque.

Celebrity Smack has compiled a spooky list of the top 10 celebrities who don’t need a Halloween mask, because they are a fright of a sight without one!

10. Wayne Newton

With his jet black hair, chiclet teeth and stretched tight skin, Wayne looks like a cross between frightful fat Elvis and an eerie Liberace.

9. Lil’ Kim

Lil’ Kim got more than just a lil’ work done. This ghastly rapper has had everything under the full-moon done. From her nose to her cheeks to her chest. Not a ghoul you’d want to run into in a dark alley.

8. Priscilla Presley

Priscilla is the Queen when it comes to cosmetic surgery. But after a fake doctor injected her face with an industrial strength low-grade silicone, similar to what’s used to lubricate auto parts in Argentina, the once radiant beauty looks more like an egg-headed mannequin.

7. Mickey Rourke

Mr. Rourke was a handsome A-lister, once upon a time. However, these days he looks more like a witch who was partially burned at the stake with his lumpy complexion and missing eyelids.

6. Pete Burns

You might know Pete as the former lead singer if the 80s band, Dead or Alive. The transgendered musician had a horrible experience when a doctor attempted to remove his lip implants and instead mutilated his lips until they almost needed to be cut off. No trick here, folks.

5. Joan Van Ark

Joan spent way too much money to end up looking like this. Most people have their lips inflated, but it looks like in the process of ‘beautifying’ herself, she ended up losing hers. I think the reason Joan’s eyebrows are a weird color is that her original ones are now located on the back of her head, leaving her to have to draw fake ones on with a brown Sharpie.

4. Joan Rivers

Can we talk…about this woman who always looks like she just saw a ghost? Joan is proud of her well preserved corpse-like body, and this mummy’s daughter will probably follow in her footsteps.

3. Michael Jackson

Wacko Jacko is always good for a bad plastic surgery countdown. Looking like a Vampire sucked and drained his blood, Michael has a pale complexion, a mutilated nose and a bizarre feminine-elf face.

2. Jocelyn Wildenstein

This is the world renowned Cat Woman who decided one day that in order to keep her wealthy, cheating, cat-loving husband Alec, that she would have her face reconstructed to appear more feline. Upon seeing his wife with her new cat-like features, Alec was said to have screamed and shortly after asked for a divorce. ‘The Bride of Wildenstein’ is 68 years old.

1. Donatella Versace

We’re not sure if it’s the surgery or the cocaine that ruined Donatella’s face, but regardless of the reason, it’s a scream! The protruding lower lip and caved in sinuses helped us to crown this fashion designer as our number one scariest celebrity mug of the year!

Happy Halloween, Smackaholics!

Press Release: Top 10 Celebrities That Don’t Need a Mask This Halloween

Joan Rivers thinks she’s funny.

Not in the way we think she is funny, by having the most frightening mug in Hollywood, but by busting Angelina Jolie’s balls.

In a recent interview she said of Jolie,

“Well, I’ve worked with stupid actresses.  I’ve worked with Angelina Jolie.  When she saw a sign that said ‘WET FLOOR’ one time, and she did. I mean, she’s attractive, but not a bright girl.  Stunningly beautiful, but stupid.”

That old bitch might have been funny back in the 60s but she isn’t anymore. She’s just bitter and likes to cut people down. She’s one of those pissy women who hate and are threatened by other women so she has to make her old ass feel better by talking smack.

Poor Joan, sitting there stewing in her shitty Depends…you kind of have to feel sorry for the old wench.  Heh.

“I dislike Victoria Beckham. The arrogance when she walks into a room is astonishing.”

- Joan Rivers is not a fan of Victoria Beckham.