“Last night the judges were thrown a curve ball on the air, which is just part of a live show. But it sparked a lot of gossip about Paula. And I read some of this online this morning and just for the record, the rumors — they’re not true. She’s part of our family and we love her.”

- Ryan Seacrest defending Paula Abdul on last night’s American Idol after she mistakenly critiqued two songs by Jason Castro - even though he only sang one - sparking rumors that she may have been lit up during the show.

Ok, I am throwing a wrench in this post of ‘I Love the 90s’ because I found a hysterical video that shows the ugly side of 1991.

Do you ever wonder why Paula Abdul doesn’t perform live? This will show you. Not that you expected any different. She is so terrible that the sax player steals the show during his small singing part.

The funny thing, and I’ll humbly admit it, is that I had hair like that. Yup, crimped, curled, teased with loads of gel and hairspray. Minus the tacky scrunchie, of course.

Wouldn’t you find it odd if 10 of the 20 finalists in last year’s American Idol songwriting contest had previous relationships with either Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, American Idol bandleader Rickey Minor, host Ryan Seacrest, or others connected to the show?

I thought so.

According to American Idol Exposed it seems a contest that is supposed to be for songwriting amateurs is hardly that.

Just read a little about the winner…

American Idol Songwriting Contest Champ Scott Krippayne’s true bio. At Walmart.com, you can buy Scott’s 2005 “Gentle Revolution” CD for the low price of only $12.88. I’ve been to Walmart and looked, there isn’t an amateur CD section, but there is a Scott Krippayne section.

So much for searching for a great undiscovered songwriting talent.

And if you visit the U.S. copyright website, a quick search shows Scott Krippayne has written songs for several christian artist like Jaci Velasquez, Rebecca Saint James, Kathy Troccoli, Point of Grace and more.

And if you check out Scott’s Purplehonda myspace page, Scott says he has written 14 number 1 hits and 20 top 10 hits for artist like John Tesh, Ronan Tynan, Saddi Patty and more.

The real unfortunate part of the contest is that there is a $10 entry fee. After 25,000 entries, do the math, that’s a lot of money. So basically American Idol will simply rob you of your cash if you are naive enough to enter.

American Idol is over. It sucks. It had it’s heyday and it’s played out. It’s not as funny or entertaining as it once was.

That show is making moolah hand over fist, so what are they doing taking money from the fans who made it what it is?

It’s a bunch of sh*t. Just like the show.

Paula Abdul may have been able to promote her new music video, ‘Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow’, on the uber-popular American Idol, but that doesn’t mean MTV is willing to put it into their rotation.

“There are currently no plans to play the video.” - MTV spokesperson.

MTV is refusing to play the video, and if you have heard the song or seen the video you can probably figure out why.

She’s never been known for her strong voice, and in her new single it sounds like it was ran through some sort of thick voice synthesizer or something. Basically, it sounds nothing like her.

Props to MTV for knowing a joke when they see it.  And just when you thought they didn’t know anything about music anymore..  Heh.

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Paula Abdul chatted with Ladies Home Journal recently and she spoke about her time on American Idol.

“I have a strength I didn’t know I had. It’s a live program, and a naughty British man is constantly making people think there’s something weird in my Coca-Cola cup…But I’m proud of myself. I always figure out a way to swim.”

So Simon is the reason, hmmm? I’m sure it has nothing to do with the slurred speech or bizarre antics. Nah..!

Paula also discussed American Idol’s past contestants and how they deal with fame.

“Our performers think they’re going to manage, but the reality is they’re not. It can be a letdown even when you advance, because success is never what you expect. I just hope they have loving friends and family if they have to go back to their jobs at Burger King.”

Abdul went on to dish about her new boyfriend, restaurateur J.T. Torregiani.

“I’ve experienced real loneliness, so I love knowing there’s someone I can share the good and the not-so-good with. And I want kids! If it doesn’t happen naturally, I can always adopt.”

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Paula Abdul recently dished that a crazy fan once stole her urine sample at a medical facility.

She recalls,

“Well, this is gross, but I was once at the gynecologist and my doctor said, ‘We asked you to do a urine sample, so where is it?’

I told him that I’d left it out in reception, and when he came back he said, ‘This is really embarrassing but a man who works here is your biggest fan and he stole it.’

Needless to say he got fired. In hindsight it’s a funny story.”

Egad. It creeps me out to no end to think of what this guy did with the piss! You know he smelled it.. and someone who is crazy enough to steal pee is crazy enough to drink it!

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Playboy magazine interviews Tina Fey in the January 2008 issue of Playboy, and as usual, the feisty TV star pulls no punches.

Her victim? Train wreck Paula Abdul. Fey says that Abdul was a nightmare to work with during an episode of SNL in 2005.

“I was pregnant [with daughter Alice] at the time and probably a little moody, but I remember thinking, ‘She’s a disaster! I gotta prop this lady up and get her on TV.’“

She went on to describe Abdul as difficult. “It was an American Idol sketch, and she wanted to change parts. So Amy Poehler had to play her.”

A year later, the two women ran into each other at an airport. It was just as lovely then.

“We both looked at each other like, ‘Do I know that girl?’” she said. “And then we both had that moment of recognition, and she was like, ‘uuuggh.’ I saw it register on her face that she had had a terrible time with us.”

I’m just surprised Paula remembered her, or that she was even on SNL.

(Yay, it’s almost January…almost time for American Idol…which means it’s almost time to rip on Paula Abdul on a regular basis again!)

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Celebrities new and old showed up to the “Corteo” Premiere at the Grand Chapiteau at the Forum in Los Angeles yesterday.

Rikki Lake was one of the celebs to attend the event. She may still be thin, but she doesn’t look healthy. She’s washed out. Maybe a little lipstick could have helped that.

Trainwreck Paula Abdul and boy toy, J.T. Torregiani…. Happy Gilmore’s Christopher McDonald

The original Bionic Woman, Lindsay Wagner…. 80’s Brat Packer, Judd Nelson

Hotties Gina Gershon and Stacey Keibler

Mindf**k Criss Angel…Adorable Sasha Cohen

*Licensed photos provided to Celebrity Smack by © Chris Hatcher/ PR Photos*