Sandra Bernhard is no fan of either Paula Abdul or Paris Hilton.

The gruff comedienne blasted the attention whores for making asses of themselves merely for media attention.

She says,

“You have to be like Paula Abdul and fall all over yourself and pretend you’re strung out on something and behave like a freak. I’ve got too much dignity. I mean, how much fame do your really need? I mean when Paris Hilton and all these sorts of people can be famous now? I don’t think it’s necessary.”

Source

Celebrity Smack reader ‘Lala’ attended a Kathy Griffin stand-up show a few days ago and says it was a blast.

As Lala tells it,

“First of all, it was packed with drunk queens - and of course, insane women like myself.
Kathy dished on everything. She’s met lots of stars, shared dressing rooms with them, etc.”

So what juice did Kathy share with her audience?

*She said Paris Hilton is retarded - and watching her type was like watching a bad video of a cat playing the piano. No shocker there.

*Barbara Walters said she “prefers Astroglide” when Kathy told her she plans on using KY jelly when her puss gets all menopausal. Who knew Babs preferred Astroglide?

*Paula Abdul is the new Whitney - on so many drugs, but she thinks Oxycontin is the main drug in her system, followed by several layers of other painkillers.

*At the Larry King 50th anniversary show, she saw Dr.Phil (she hates his ass) groping Jane Fonda. she almost came to Jane’s rescue , but she thought she could handle him herself. She was right - Jane told his ass off - something about hating republicans.

*She ripped Oprah a new one. Talked about how she ’s gaining her wait back, and how somewhere Gayle is shivering in the corner with a shiner. HA!

Thanks for sending those in Lala!

Paris Hilton: Artiste (CWS)
Paula Abdul’s reality show (PB)
American Idol audition dates (GG)
Britney Spears still flaunting her pancake titties (DSF)
Joss Stone tattoos her head (TB)
Someone actually had sex with Nancy Grace! (ASL)
Kate Moss & Pete Doherty Cavalli photo shoot (Yeeeah)
What does the baby on Nirvana’s Nevermind album look like today? (GH)
Kurt Cobain would be pissed (ABH)
Reese Witherspoon and daughter out and about (GS)
Lindsay Lohan gears up to party (DH)
No wonder the brothers love Kim Kardashian (DS)
Jet lagged or cocaine hangover? (EBG)
Scott Baio 45 and still single video clip (POTP)
Rosario Dawson will eat you alive (ND)
Kate Hudson decides she’s through with dick noses (AIW)
Lots of pictures and video of Paris Hilton being released from jail (JIYH)
Kevin Dillon, you don’t sit on cars that are THAT nice! (CP)
Is Jennifer Lopez losing that ass? (HBW)
Lame MySpace advertisers (IBBB)
___________________________

Hey kids, I’ll be posting more this evening..I’ve been sick since returning from Sun Valley over a week ago and am finally going to the doc to do something about it.  THANKS!

xoxo
Spicy
___________________________

Is the above photo of Angelina Jolie untouched? (PopBytes)
Baby Suri in the most adorable photo ever..except that Tom Cruise is in it.. (CWS)
Monkeys and human can reproduce! (ABH)
Paris Hilton porked a fat Jack Osbourne, along with the rest of Hollywood (DH)
Val Kilmer looks like Kenny Rogers (CP)
Naomi Campbell makes fun of herself (GG)
Flavor o Love’s ‘Toastee’ has a sex tape that stinks kind of like her.. (DSF)
Liv Tyler is all about plastic surgery (BS)
Lindsay Lohan extends her stay in rehab (JIYH)
Jessica Biel nippin out in a bikini (POTP)
Want to see Sting’s tantric cock? Look no further.. (EBG)
Mandy Moore used to be cuter (ND)
Paris Hilton writes letters to fans in jail (GH)
New & upcoming VH1 reality shows (INO)
A lame attempt at copying John Lennon and Yoko Ono (HBW)
Britney Spears hits the bottle (DL)
Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora friendly again (GS)
The ‘gracefull flight’ of Paula Abdul (GOTA)
The Larry Birkhead saga goes on..yawn.. (ASL)
Guess who’s birthday it is today? (RC)
Whoa!  I’m 10 years-old again! (TMZ)
Paris Hilton might be force fed in jail, and not dick, because then it wouldn’t be forced (TB)

Paula Abdul says that if she is unable to conceive a child naturally that she will consider adopting.

Abdul said, "With medical technology these days, I could have children by myself using a donor. But I would rather be in a relationship so the child has a father to help instill core values.

"If it’s meant for me to have children naturally, I absolutely will. I love kids, I really do. And kids love me. I’m so open to the idea of adoption. But, again, I would like to be able to share the raising of the children."

Source

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Draw your vagina, heh.

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Open late night!

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