Ashton Kutcher has got his hands full!

Actually, that’s more than a handful!  He and wife Demi Moore partied with Penelope Cruz. I’m betting Ashton’s night totally sucked!  Heh.

Source

Candy Spelling  & mad libs (GOTA)
David Beckham is so pussy whipped (ABH)
Superman Tower of Power ride severs girls legs in KY (MSCS)
Harrison Ford on set of Indiana Jones 4 (GH)
Yeah, but does she know, ‘WarPigs?’ (EBG)
No Doubt reunites! (HS)
Paris Hilton’s car is repossessed (GG)
Did someone hit Petra Nemcova between the eyes? (ND)
John Mayer wants Penelope Cruz (HBW)
Kitten in a box (YT)
Amy Winehouse changes her clothes (CWS)
What do you get when you cross Helen Hunt and Sarah Jessica Parker? (DS)
Dolly Parton is scary (CM)
Some alien with big ears and a long torso won the CosmoGirl modeling contest (BS)
Britney Spears gets a restraining order against her mom? (AIW)
How to get in and out of a car like a celebrity (JIYH)
Paris Hilton is a reformed skank (IBBB)
NBC is full of shat (DD)
Tony Bennett marries at 80 years young (GW)
Chad Michael Murray is a snotty bitch (F&C)

Britney Spears pissed over billboards mocking her (TMZ)
Paris Hilton’s neighbors try to boot her out of the neighborhood (ASL)
Dustin Diamond is a walking sack of poo (BWE)
Danielle Lloyd looks amazing in a bikini (F&C)

Jessica Alba likes to get nailed (TS)
It’s hard out here for Bobby Brown (GH)
Jessica Simpson looking slim (IBBB)
Baby Hugh Hefner on the way? (HS)
Beyonce bikini pics (JIYH)
Steven Tyler has man boobs (DL)
More proof that the Jackson family is funked up (TB)
Real World’s ‘Coral’ comes out (Bossip)
Bai Ling gets hammered and dances like hell (CWS)
There’s no question who baby Shiloh’s dad is (POTP)
Someone actually gives Paris Hilton props (BS)
Lindsay Lohan’s birthday party canceled (AIW)
Kim Kardashian tig ol’ bitties (DSF)
Topless Phoenix Feeley (RC)
Penelope Cruz and Shakira party together (DS)
The Hiltons continue to work the press (EBG)
Avril Laviigne bawls like a baby (ND)

Fergie is a little person

Evangeline Lilly getting married?

Hayden Panettiere is a bobblehead


Another celebrity couple files for divorce

Kim Kardashian gets a job!

Another reason to hate OJ Simpson

Eva Longoria pulls a Federline

Miss USA goes to the dogs

Drinking and grinding with Mickey Rourke

The Olsen twins as Japanese cartoons

Joel Madden and Nicole Richie liplock

Ryan Philippe’s new woman appears to be..

Brad Pitt’s grandpa didn’t like his movie

She wasn’t exactly a stellar McDonald’s employee

Eminem and Kim Mathers are engaged again

Jennifer Aniston’s new nose looks like her old nose

Penelope Cruz heads to the Oscar Nominations

Janice Dickinson thinks more models should have anorexia

Christina Aguilera’s naked Sundays keep her marriage strong

Anna Nicole Smith and Trimspa in class action lawsuit

JC Chasez has nothing but nice things to say about Britney Spears

Michelle Rodriguez models the latest fashion accessory at the Marc Jacobs show

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Ted Casablanca’s Blind Item:

This one is EZ!

Aren’t the Oscar noms fun? Not to mention friggin’ and secretly sex-ay, huh? Closeted fruits. Discreet lesbians. Outta the total number of about 177 artists nominated three days ago, gay power unites within those selected for potential Academy Awards, isn’t it too exciting?

Only problem is—for now—these par-tick gay men and women are mostly, like, totally lying and dating members of the opposite sex to extend their careers, selfish mother-effers! So, don’t expect any thanks to homo partners up at the Kodak podium, should these gays win. Whatev.

Therefore, it lies with Potty-Puss Priscilla to enliven today’s blinded bad-ass report. It involves duplicity and damning words, two of my favorite things to report on in Hollywood, besides errant erections and heaving bosoms behind bathroom stalls. See, Ms. P.P.P. is—on the very public one hand—telling folks how mucho honored she is to be acknowledged by the Academy.

Then, on the other—not so private—digit set, P3 is busy blasting the “unseemly” rat race of it all. She considers the whole Oscar showdown a “sham,” as if we’re all “greyhounds chasing a rabbit,” she’s said to amigas, privately.

Now, isn’t it sweet, too divine, really, that Ms. P.’s all but certainly going to be up on that stage, come Oscar night, giving the best artistic showing of her career—as in pretending she’s actually humbled by all this Academy Award nonsense.

Oh, I should tell you something: In case you sense any bitterness on Priss-babe’s part, that’s because she is. Snarky and snide, that is. Thinks she should have gotten these brass-sucker jobs more often.

Oh, dear.

Shouldn’t somebody tell Priscilla darling that expectations will not only put lines on her deceivingly sweet face but that I hear this kinda soul-stealing, stinky emotion makes your cleavage droopy ‘n’ wrinkly, too. Or so I’m told.

And it ain’t:

It is SO PENELOPE CRUZ.

Spicy
Sources: ONTD/E!

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Celebrating the last day of the year by relaxing, swimming and catching some rays with her sister.

Jealous?
Me too.

Spicy
HQCB

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