VIDEO: Robert Pattinson on the Today Show, 11/19/2009

Ok girls (and cougars!) here is THE MAN of the hour, Robert Pattinson on The Today Show in all his blood sucking glory!

I must say that even though I fancy Taylor Lautner a little more, I am not going to sit here and deny that Mr. Pattinson isn’t one sexy mofo. He might not be THE best looking man in the world, but he definitely has major sex appeal! And that hair…don’t you just want to run your fingers through it? You know you do. Greasy and stinky or not!  Heh.

Yes, ladies, I will admit. I GET the hype. He’s absolutely adorable. And, BONUS! He doesn’t seem to be affected too much by his fame. He still seems very “real” and that’s hot.

Awesome interview, Twilight fan or not, you will walk away loving Robert after watching this!

The cast of “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” held at the Mann Village Theater, Westwood, Los Angeles.

[Photograph: © Tuukka Jantti, PacificCoastNews.com]

“The Twilight Saga: New Moon” cast members pose for photographers at Villa Magna Hotel, Madrid, Spain.

Um, hellooooo Taylor Lautner! You sexy muthaf***er! (He is legal, right?) Blowing away Robert Pattinson in the hotness department. Not just with his looks, but that boy can dress. Nice job Taylor Swift, girlfriend, you landed a super hottie. Meooow!

[Photos: ©BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM]

Robert Pattinson admits that he stinks.

Literally.

The teen heartthrob recently dished that he doesn’t change his clothes very often, and it sounds like he isn’t a fan of the shower either. He told UK’s New! magazine:

“These jeans are a few days old. But the top is probably fresh because it gets to the point where even I can’t stand the air around me. I don’t know, my personal hygiene, it’s so disgusting!”

Girls, listen to me, a man who doesn’t smell good, pass that sh*t up!

Rob, watch out buddy. Pretty soon you might have more flies after you than girls.

[Photo: © BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM]

You’ve got to hand it to some of these corporations out there. They have found a golden opportunity to take advantage of these sad and pathetic TWILIGHT fans who will spend all of their money on anything with the TWILIGHT name on it, no matter what it is (come on… how else do you explain people actually owning that movie on DVD, especially after seeing it in a theatre… it sucked BADLY).

Mattel is joining in on the fray, because they like money, and will soon begin selling TWILIGHT Barbie, with an Edward Cullen “Ken” doll and a Bella Swan “Barbie” doll leading the way. The Edward doll will feature a shimmering complexion and trademark gold eyes while the Bella doll will just be pale. Either way, these plastic figures are about as lifelike and charismatic as the actors who played these characters in the movies to begin with, so I guess you’ve got to hand it to Mattel for their accuracy. Now, if only they could make me fall asleep quickly much like the movie did, I wouldn’t need to drink all of that vodka late at night to help me fall asleep… just some of it.

Obviously Mattel was short-sighted in their vision for this new product line, but, since they don’t ship until November 27, let The Kidd offer up a bit of advice. Make the Edward doll vibrate. I mean, you just know this is the closest some of these TWILIGHT fans are going to come to getting laid, so you might as well help them out, since you know they are sticking that doll in places it shouldn’t be anyway. And, for you guys that are really into TWILIGHT… please be safe, and lube it up. No one wants to go to the emergency room with a doll stuck in their ass. Not like I would know or anything… I’ve just… I’ve heard things.

As for the Bella doll… well, no one’s buying that… at least no one that doesn’t have issues to begin with, in which case, the fact that they want to make two plastic dolls have doll sex is the least of our worries about them. But, it needs no special features or extra add-ons. It’s like anyone is going to try doing anything inappropriate with it, because if you have any desire to have sex with Kristen Stewart, well… there is nothing funnier I could possibly say than the fact that you actually want to have sex with Kristen Stewart.

By the way, Mattel, you know where to send the check for my services. Nice doing business with you again.

Enough with all of these pointless debates about which is better: Aliens or Predators, ninjas or pirates, strippers or… well, nothing is better than strippers. It is finally time to get down to something far more meaningful: TRUE BLOOD or TWILIGHT.

Now, you’re probably asking yourself – do I really care? And the answer is definitely not. However, in the interest of seeing a bunch of teenage girls who live, breathe, and obsess over everything TWILIGHT, let’s run with it.

In an interview with Marie Claire, the star of TRUE BLOOD Stephen Moyer threw down the gauntlet on this pointless vampire comparison, and gave a pretty indication as to who he thinks is awesome and who is not when you put him up around Robert Pattinson.

“He’s a pussy! He’s the Slim-Fast, Diet Coke of vampires.”

Wow… them be fightin’ words. Of course after hearing this, TWILIGHT fans ran into their rooms crying hysterically about how someone could talk about Edward like that, before their parents told them to shut up and go to sleep, because they had school in the morning.

It looks like Team True Blood is joining the mix for supernatural supremacy, and who can blame them? They’re on HBO, and they show Anna Paquin naked just about every episode. In my book, that’s an automatic win over a boring series of movies with uninteresting characters and awful actors that follow a story where nothing ever happens.

TRUE BLOOD 1, TWILIGHT 0.

You can go back to crying now, TWILIGHT fans.. oh, and overeating, too. Let’s not forget that important part of your day.

[Photo: Celebuzz]

[MarieClaire]

Robert Pattinson was arrested in New York yesterday, appearing bloody, battered, and beaten as he was taken into custody.

What went down…?

I don’t know. I guess you’ll have to wait to see REMEMBER ME in theatres to find out, as it was all part of a scene he was filming for his new movie.

Oh, man… I totally love making those teenage girls who love TWILIGHT cry.

I should totally get some kind of award for this. Biggest Douchebag Ever…? Does it involve me getting a trophy? Yeah…? Well, then I accept. Another prestigious piece for the mantle.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

The official poster for “Twilight Saga : New Moon” movie has been leaked.

Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner are all featured on the poster. Dakota Fanning is also in the film.

Get the wallpaper version of the official New Moon poster here.

New Moon will be in theaters November 20, 2009.

Rob Pattinson celebrates his 23rd birthday at Glowbal Grill and Satay Bar in Vancouver, B.C. with some of his cast mates from ‘The Twilight Saga: New Moon.’

[Photos: ©BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM]