Now maybe we know where Heidi Montag gets the whole attention whore thing from.

Her mother.

Anytime a parent pulls a Michael Lohan (a.k.a. goes running to the media about their kid’s problems) I get suspicious. The latest parent to do so is Heidi’s mother, Darlene Egelhoff, 46.

One good thing about this woman – she can’t stand Spencer Pratt either.

She says,

“He’s manipulative and seems to have power over Heidi. I would like to see a blood test from Mexico. It wouldn’t surprise me if he had her drugged.”

Ok, now who’s doing the drugs, lady? Let’s not get carried away here, these two are like peas in a pod.

Anyhow, she continues, “Spencer has tried to cut everyone out of her life. I’ve been honest with Heidi, and it’s caused our relationship to decline. I’m more devastated about that than the marriage, because I’m confident the marriage won’t work out.”

Momma goes on to say that before good ol’ Spenc came into their lives she and Heidi were inseperable.

“She was my Velcro, always attached to me. I want the best for my daughter – and he’s definitely not it.”

Yeah, when kids grow up they usually don’t hang out with their parents very much. Sounds like mom is jealous. Maybe because Heidi was her meal ticket – or maybe because she just hates Spencer that much.

She doesn’t stop there with her Spencer bashing. “I think Spencer wants to possess Heidi more than marry her. God says love your enemies, but I never expected it to be my son-in-law.”

When asked how long she expects the marriage to last she says bluntly, “Six months. I think it’s the biggest mistake Heidi’s ever made.”

So as it turns out, the Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt wedding wasn’t as spontaneous as they would have liked us to believe.

Duh!

Cameras were in tow as the couple eloped in Cabo San Lucas, and also have been following them during their honeymoon.

Executive producer Liz Gately confirms, “MTV is currently filming Heidi and Spencer in Mexico, as we were expecting to capture them on vacation. Fans will be able to see the exclusive footage from the ceremony in an upcoming episode, and we will continue to follow the newlywed’s relationship as it plays out in real life.”

Anything and everything is marketable to these two. If they ever have a kid, that child will be pimped out to the media, not to mention the actual birth being recorded and sold on DVD.

But let’s not think about them procreating. Because if ever there were an evil spawn..

Heidi Montag and longtime boyfriend Spencer Pratt eloped in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico on November 20th.

I’m sure you’re elated..

What Spencer said to Heidi as they exchanged vows,

“Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person. Being with you, I feel complete. I’m honored to even be able to call you my wife. You are the most amazing, loving and caring woman on this planet. I will love you forever and always.”

He sure lays it on thick. That boy is whipped. He knows without her he would be a big fat nothing – and there would be no more Us Weekly covers..

[Us]

“That’s a bold statement for someone who only decided to try and be Brody’s father after Brody got famous. He should focus more on trying to be a father and worry less about Brody’s influences. Brody’s doing just fine.”

- Spencer Pratt responds to Bruce Jenner saying he is a bad influence on his son, Brody Jenner

Heidi Montag and self important boyfriend Spencer Pratt treated themselves to a nice dinner with a couple of friends at a Los Angeles restaurant Saturday night…camera crew in tow, no doubt.

Their bill came to a total of $783. Included on the tab was 12 shots of Platinum Patron which runs $60 a shot! Spencer, being the man that he is, flipped the bill, but only left $800. That means a mere $17 tip for the lucky waitress who was fortunate enough to have the pleasure of waiting on these morons.

Once filming had stopped, the waitress went to the producer of the show and asked about the whopping 2% tip. He then forked out $60 of his own money, bringing the total tip to just under 10%. Not excellent tipping skills.

So waitstaff and bartenders in L.A. take note, and don’t do these two any favors.

In the latest issue of Radar magazine, Spencer Pratt’s advice column ‘Yo, Spencer!’ gets a little dirty.

YO SPENCER! How long do you have to date someone before it’s appropriate to bring up the possibility of anal sex?

If you’re dating a guy, right away. If you’re dating girl, I think you’ll know pretty quick if she’s into that. If they’re not bringing it up, it’s not something on their agenda. That’s just realistic. My boxing coach Dirty Phi says, “If you stick your pinkie in there, and then another finger, and then another, and she responds happily, then it’s cool.”

Ok, this is almost too much. Spencer talking about anal is pretty raunch. But lo and behold, even when talking about something this foul, Spencer always finds a way to drop hints about how cool he is. “My boxing coach says…” In other words, “Hey everyone, I just started boxing this week, and I want everyone to know because it ups my hip factor.”

Poor Spencer, I don’t know if there is anyone out there who tries harder…

Ok, none of us could believe it when Spencer Pratt landed a gig on Radar.com as an advice columnist, but it’s true, he has, and his first column has arrived.

The first dilemma he has to solve is pretty funny and disgusting at the same time. In fact, it’s a real pisser. Check it out.

YO SPENCER! I just started dating this guy who I really like. The other night, we went out and got hammered. I ended up passing out in his bed. When I woke up, I discovered that I had wet the bed. I was so embarrassed that I left while he was still asleep. If I call him, do I have to apologize or can I pretend it never happened? Or do I have to wait for him to call me?

Oh my gawd. Talk about embarrassing, bitch should do nothing short of moving to another state. Here’s Spencer’s advice:

Wow! This is a situation you do not want to find yourself in. I personally would never want to be with a girl who gets so wasted that she’s pissing in bed. It’s time to sign up for AA, my dear, because drunks are not sexy. Regardless, if the guy’s really, really, really cool, he might understand. But I wouldn’t count on it. Best bet is to be honest and tell him that was the drunkest you’ve ever been and that it was a huge mistake and it’ll never happen again. And make sure you buy him new sheets.

The guy is NOT going to understand. She says she just started dating him, she should consider that date her last. And what the hell, taking off before he wakes up and leaving him sleeping in a piss stained bed? Sorry about your luck sweetheart, but everyone this guy knows is going to know that you pissed his bed. Sorry about your luck!

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Heidi Montag’s annoying boyfriend Spencer Pratt somehow managed to score his own advice column in Radar magazine.

The column is called “YO SPENCER!” and debuts in the April issue of Radar.

Radar editor Maer Roshan said, “Spencer is never afraid to speak his mind. When asking for advice, it’s good to have someone who will be brutally honest with you, and tell it like it is.”

Ok, now how exactly is Spencer qualified to dish out advice? If anything I think the column will be worth reading just to snicker at the vast pearls of knowledge he throws out there.

Please.

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