One of the best crazy emails I have received in awhile. Just had to share..

Hello dear Ladies and Gentlemen!

I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person Scarlett Galabekian, who has nothing with acting career. That clone was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not dmn sexy),most important - CHRISTIAN young lady! I’ll tell you more,those clones (it’s not only one) made in GERMANY - world leader manufacturer of humans clones, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, North Bavaria, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity. But warning! Helmut Kohl clone staff strictly controlling all their clones (at least they trying) spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well. Original person is not happy with those movies, images, video, rumors and etc. spreading on media in that way it would be really nice if we all will try slow down that ”actress” career development, original Scarlett will really appreciated that. Please remember that original Scarlett’s family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created in it was stolen and it is stolen. It all need to be delivered to authorized personals control in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Original Scarlett never was engaged, by the way!

Her close friend Serge G.

P.S. CONTROLLING ACTIVITY OF ANY CLONES IS US MILITARY OPERATION.

H.R. 534, the Human Cloning Prohibition Act of 2003, was introduced to the U.S. House of Representatives on February 5, 2003. After discussion, it was passed on February 27 by a vote of 241-155. It now moves on to the Senate for consideration. This bill makes it unlawful for any person or entity to perform or participate in human cloning, or to ship or receive embryos produced by human cloning. The penalties are imprisonment of up to 10 years and fines of $1 million or more. These now join other nations as diverse as Norway, Australia, and Germany, which had already added cloning for any purpose to their criminal code. And in Germany where it carries a penalty of five years imprisonment they know a thing or two about unethical science.

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“I apologize if you have already seen this. It is a website/petition set up by the Goldman family.

http://www.dontpayoj.com/index.php

Megan”

Megan, THANK YOU! This is just what I needed.
PLEASE EVERYONE GO SIGN THE PETITION!
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Hi,

I read your article and found it very moving and absolutely true.

I am from Britain and don’t think it’s being broadcast here so I for one will definitely not be watching, but wouldn’t anyway.

I must add that I love your blog so much, it’s one of the first things I read in the morning over my breakfast!

Also thanks soooo much for the slagging of Perez Hilton you did a while back, I used to read his page and he makes me want to vomit, it alternates between glorifying his vain, simpering ass and kissing Paris Hilton’s. I wish we could get people to boycott him!

I would much rather read you, you quite often make me snort coffee out of my nose with your pithy comments and you’re always bang on the money.

Anyway that’s enough from me, enjoy your day and keep up the fabulous work.

Best,

Kirsty

Thanks Kirsty, Spicy loves the UK!
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Smackaholic Jennifer sent the following letter to Fox:

Why? This is an embarrassment to you! Every single person that I know out here in middle America knows OJ is doing this for notoriety and you sold your souls for ratings. To whore your network out to a murderer and liar is past trashy - it makes you as responsible as OJ.

Maybe you guys will get sued by the victims families- and then they’ll get some money. Come on, guys, give the world a break and IGNORE this murderer.

Let the Fox boycotting begin, I’m starting it in my little part of the country. Presidents like YOU, Liguori, are what makes the rest of us humiliated to be Americans. All that you are is whores.
I’m sure you know it deep down, but keep on whoring so that your wives can get their faces fixed and your kids can turn into repulsive little drugged out losers.

Congrats, you’ve set another unbelievable low standard.

Jennifer (Withheld) St Louis, MO

Heh. You go Jen.
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Spicy! Kudo’s to you!

You did an awesome job with your post and it’s so cool that Fox responded to you. I still hope they come to their senses and refuse to air it.

I’m sure I’m not alone in thanking you for the time and effort you put into this!

BTW, your blog is digital crack for me (I’m sure I’m not alone in that either). You should hound some networks (E perhaps?) and propose a tv show - you put such a witty spin on the celeb crap and it would be a refreshing change from ET, ect. Or even radio (Mark & Brian here in LA always make fun of the celeb gossip, maybe they’d give you a spot

Do it before that lame Perez dude scams himself a show!

Lainey

Lainey, I think he already has.
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This one is freaky…

“I’ve been hearing rumors from people that “Daniel Smith” is ACTUALLY the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s (his mother) NEW baby? This couldn’t be true, could it? I know that Anna and her son were close, but wouldn’t that be considered “incest”? That would explain why Anna’s lawyer, Howard Stern, was all of a sudden, claiming that the baby was his. A cover-up from preventing people from learning the truth?
I DON’T know. I’m NOT claiming to know. But do think it’s possible?
Sincerely,
Charles Q.”

This email is regarding Steve Irwin & South Park.

“Simple, the show was insensitive. I am a avid south park veiwer, and I love d steve because he brought much needed attention on saving wildlife. nobody would have cared if they never showed it. Its never funny what people do for money. Alot of people really cared for Steve. Can you stand still for one second and put yourself in his family and friends shoes. Life isnt all fun and webing hope life is better for uoy.
-Cheeta4002″

*BabyBoomerTrips.com!*

“Enjoyed your pics [of Duane Chapman, aka 'Dog the bounty Hunter']. I was there. I was laughing at Beth. What a friggin lunatic. That woman was out of control. I was recording digital video if it. Posted it on youtube. I attached a couple of stills from the video for your amusement. I stopped in Dakine Bail Bonds today on my way home from a Dr appt. Wrote about it on a group I just started on a whim.
Aloha,
Mike”

Follow Up Email from Mike-

“Hi Spicy
Turning left off Vineyard St. onto Queen Emma I recalled DaKine Bail Bonds was somewhere nearby. After taking a few steps I looked up, and there it was on my left.
At first I was puzzled as the place was so small and run-down looking. There was a hole in the dirty besmudged shop front glass sporting the DaKine logo, could this be it??? It was difficult for me to believe that a Nationwide show could revolve around such a dive. Being one who doesn’t fear wading through the seamier side of life, I went in.
First thing I noticed was the humidity and stink of moldiness. I almost walked out thinking it was too much and possibly dangerous to my health, but curiosity overrode my instinct for self-preservation. Eventually I got accustomed to it, sort of like how we can tolerate our own flatulance.
Dog wasn’t there, but a cardboard cut-out of him was, in front of which stood 3 people. The older couple spoke with an accent that reminded me of Texas and were obvious tourists. The younger blonde haired fella turned out to be a Dog family member. The Texans left and I had a chance to rapport with the progeny. He was a young fella, multi-tasking behind a computer laden desk, answering phone calls, blogging his MySpace and answering my questions. I asked him about 2 mug shots posted on the wall and he said they were old cases posted for the tourists. The real “Wanted Wall” was behind the locked door that only Dog and whoever he lets in has access to.
The phone rang. “You need a $300,000.00 bond? Sure we can do that for you.”…pause…”It’ll cost you $30,000.” He hangs up. He was gleeful at the idea of DaKine making $30,000.00. I noticed he didn’t write down any information. The phone call was too brief to be legit and the Bond amount was the same that Dog had to come up with, $300,000.00. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he may have just been spoofed. He may have been 20 and acted like a kid that needed some guidance, (lots of trash talk, over-animated body language) but my impression was that his intention was good. His best bet would be to join the Military. At least there he’d have better role models and a chance to become a man. So I spent a little more time in the fat black leather chair betweenthe big screen tv and potted tree that had a huge water stained carpet under it (over watering? leak from outside?) and figured I’d seen enough. So I left. Here’s a few photos of the outside.
Mike”

Thanks Mike!

HAWAII via BabyBoomerTrips.com!

Hey there, I saw on your site that you wrote about celebrity birthdays today. This is a long shot, but I thought I’d try. I write a line of greeting cards called Bald Guy Greetings. And I have a 23rd birthday card, maybe the only 23rd birthday card in the world. Well, tomorrow is Nicky Hilton’s 23rd Birthday. (Please don’t ask me how I know this) Any chance you can do a write up about the cards for her birthday? Take a look at my cards and let me know what you think. Here is a link to the 23rd birthday card. I promise it’s funny. http://www.baldguygreetings.com/card004.html I hope you like it, but even if you don’t, best of luck to you.
Without hair,
Ian Kalman
Bald Guy Greetings

Compare Airfare at BabyBoomerTrips.com!

What’s been in Spicy’s mailbox lately?

“WEB SITE LAUNCHED TO TELL PARIS HILTON EXPLOITING WILD ANIMALS IS NOT HIP

Web Site TellParisNo.com Launched

Because her publicist won’t do it, some one needs to tell Paris Hilton to stop illegally collecting wildlife. Alleged singer and celebutante Paris Hilton, desperate for attention – any attention – has recently inflicted her lifestyle on a succession of exotic pets as a publicity ploy. The latest victim of Paris’s affections is a captive “pet” kinkajou cloyingly named “Baby Luv,” which has appeared in public draped across Paris as if it were the latest fashion trend.
A kinka-what? The kinkajou (Potos flavus), also known as the “Honey Bear,” is a nocturnal tree-climbing mammal related to the raccoon that lives in the rainforests of Central and South America. Although kinkajous may appear cute and cuddly, they are wild animals that belong in the rainforest eating tropical fruit, not ducking from flashbulbs on fashion runways or sipping lattes in the cafes and trendy clubs of Los Angeles.
Fortunately, the state of California recognizes the serious threats that the international wildlife trade poses, both to wild animals from other countries and to U.S. species when these animals are imported and then abandoned or released. Due to these threats, it is illegal to import or possess kinkajous or other wild animals in California without a valid permit.
Innocent kinkajous such as the prisoner “Baby Luv” are often stolen from their natural habitat and sold abroad through the international wildlife trade. But hey, what does the biological diversity of the rainforest or the welfare of Baby Luv matter compared to Paris looking cool and hip?
The Center for Biological Diversity (www.biologicaldiversity.org) sent a stern warning letter to Paris suggesting she cease her criminal violations of wildlife protection laws. The Center is also insisting that Paris turn over Baby Luv and any other illegal wildlife she possesses to an appropriate wildlife rescue organization, and urging her to speak out publicly to promote the conservation of wild animals and keeping wild animals in the habitats where they belong.

Baby Luv has apparently gained favor over Paris’ pet ferret,which is also illegal to own in California.  How many more bitingincidents before the self-centered celebrity abandons or discards the kinkajouto keep up with the latest animal trend?Baby Luv exacted a measure of revenge for the affront of havingto put up with Paris’s antics and shrieks, biting her skinny, tormentingarm last month and sending Paris to the hospital.  However, Paris’spunishment did not match her crime.

Paris continues to flaunt her criminal violations of several of California’s wildlife protections laws (see the California Fish and Game Code, sections 2118, 2185, 2189 and 2190). In a just world, Paris Hilton would be pursued, captured, and prosecuted for criminal violation of these wildlife protection laws, facing civil penalties of up to $10,000 and imprisonment in the county jail for up to six months.
Kinkajous are rare and threatened enough in Honduras that the country forbids exporting them without a permit, an effort to prevent the species from being needlessly exploited to satisfy the pet industry or the egos of so-called celebrities. Kinkajous in Honduras are supposed to be protected by the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species.
The international wildlife trade is a violent and exploitive $6 billion annual industry that threatens wild animals in almost every country of the world. In 2002, , more than 38,000 mammals, 365,000 birds, 2 million reptiles, 49 million amphibians and 216 million fish were imported into the United States alone. Cruel practices are often used to obtain and transport these wild animals, and many species are closer to extinction due to the high demand for their fur and body parts or use as “pets.” Since 1996, more than 2,000 species have been classified as threatened by the World Conservation Union, partly due to the negative impacts from the international wildlife trade.
Please join this effort to help keep wild animals in their natural habitats. Write Paris today to tell her that species like the kinkajou should not suffer needlessly from the horrors of the international wildlife trade.
Visit www.TellParisNo.com for more information.”

“I’m a massive fan of your blog, you speak my mind on soooo many subjects and find the same people utterly ridiculous, which I love!
I’d like to ask a favour, I’m a DJ and I’m trying to gain as many votes as possible for the DJ Magazine Top 100 DJs competition. Would you consider helping me out with that? Your vote would be great but the vote of your readers would obviously be massive. However, to prove I’m not rubbish why don’t you check out my Myspace pages first, then if you like what you hear maybe you could help?
Y’see when I DJ I remix different tracks live as I go along (I’m on my laptop) so I’ve been getting a lot of attention already. I then come home and recreate what I did live and make those tracks available for download on Myspace, so have a listen and let me know your thoughts maybe?
Anyway, below is the email I’ve been sending out, which has the Myspace pages with the links and everything. If you could give it a look I would very much appreciate it, though I’ll understand if you’re too busy. Thanks you for your time anyway,

Kris Di Angelis X

PS: Saw the Lohan at the Von Essen party in Berkshire the other day, she looked major up close with great make up, but I’m told she loves to smoke coke, which explains the completely vacant expression on her face as she stared out into the crowd.

I NEED YOUR HELP.

It has been decided by the powers that be (Meredith, those of you who know her know she’s not to be argued with), that we’re gonna stick it to the big guys and get me voted into the DJ Magazine Top 100 Djs list.
Although it would be lovely to receive such affirmation and recognition for the hard work, live sets, technology, money, countless remixes and years of musical hard graft I’ve put in to this, I’m actually more intrigued to see if a little bit of guerrilla marketing can go a long way. Power of the people and all that. This of course would benefit my career massively, but I’d like to do it just to see if we can shake it all up a bit. We’ve worked out we need 1000 votes to get in.
I’ve no idea what I’ll do if we manage this, probably some big free party, once I’ve recovered from the shock.

It will only take 2 mins so here’s how to do it:
Click on the link below which takes you to where you can vote. Voting requires you entering my name first, then 4 other names – I suggest they not be DJs for this to work (I used four friends) – provide your email address so they can confirm your vote (THEY DO NOT STORE EMAIL ADDRESS’ FOR ANY REASON AT ALL), then you’re done!