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Archive for the ‘Spicy Emails’ Category

Spicy Emails

Tuesday, September 5th, 2006


Hey Spicy. Love your site, and have been a fan for some time now. As
a longtime reader, I felt the need to offer a teensy bit of
constructive critisism, and that is to either reduce or eliminate the
Caption that Shit contests. They are consuming what is otherwise a
very entertaining and craftily-written gossip portal. Unless they
become a subset (i.e. a separate page) of the site, I personally am
finding it less entertaining to visit for the fun and cheeky gossip,
which has always been the strength behind the Smack.

That’s it — thanks for doing a great job for so long, though.
Looking forward to more quality content to rival the competition.

Cheers,

A.L.

Spicypants -

You gotta check this out - Paris Hilton’s CD got “punked” in the UK,
by an outlaw artist named Banksy, who’s genius artwork has been
popping up all over English streets & buildings - http://www.banksy.co.uk/menu.html
The Paris story is linked below:
http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/this_britain/article1325440.ece
The secretive artist named Banksy has smuggled 500 doctored copies of Paris Hilton’s debut album into music stores throughout the UK, where they have sold without the shops’ knowledge.
In place of Ms. Hilton’s bubble-gum pop songs, the CDs feature Banksy’s own rudimentary compositions. On the cover of the doctored CD, Ms. Hilton’s dress has been digitally repositioned to reveal her bare breasts; on an inside photo, her head has been replaced with that of her dog.
On the back cover, the original song titles have been replaced with a list of questions: “Why am I famous?”, “What have I done?” and “What am I for?”
Check out the YouTube link and watch the prank being excecuted. The music heard is part of 40 minutes of a basic rhythm track over which Banksy dubbed Ms. Hilton’s catchphrase “That’s hot!” and other extracts from her reality TV program,
The Simple Life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxUl9Mxbh1E

(More pics at Flickr)

I hope you link this stuff - it’s too genius!!!
Love on ya, and your awesome blog…
DJ Paul V., Silver Lake

Dear Ms. Spicy Pants~
Love the site-absolutely hooked. Hardly even a need for my gossip mags anymore because by the time they arrive they’re already outdated & I have read most of it on your site.
~Anika

Compare Airfare at BabyBoomerTrips.com!

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Spicy’s Mailbox

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006




“Spicy,

Jason Rohrblogger (Link fixed- Sorry J!) here. I see you put a link to me on your blog! Boo-YAH!. I have linked to you as well…
My buddy Eric Edwards is doing a one-man show called “Just Step” at The Sherry in North Hollywood. It’s about the fact that he was a popular heavy actor in Hollywood and then he lost 210 pounds and now he can’t find work. It’s funny and sad and it’s gotten great reviews.
Most of one-man shows I’ve seen, especially by comedians, are just their stand-up act rehashed into a 90-minute set with a beginning and middle, but no end. Eric’s show is very poignant and everyone I’ve ever taken to see it has loved it.
Last night I helped out by taping Eric’s one-man show so he can send a DVD to (a very important person). Andy Dick the star of “NewsRadio” and “The Andy Dick Show” just happened to stop by and see the taping. We all hung out afterwards with Sherry, the owner of the theater and Ken Dubner, the writer. I was hoping to observe some out-of-control Hollywood decadence but everybody just had Diet Coke and bottled water. ~:-(
I don’t know if these candid shots of me (with the beard) and Eric Edwards with Andy Dick are worthy of your Smack, but here they are…
-Jason”

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Spicy’s Mailbox

Friday, August 18th, 2006

“Thought you might appreciate this clipping from the sun website!!
I have a feeling its not so much the volume of shoes she has but the sheer size of each pair that have to be built to fit her gigantic Coco the clown sized plates of meat!!!


PARIS HILTON
says she is being squeezed out of her US home – by her 1,000 pairs of shoes. She told Now magazine: “Like most girls I’m incredibly passionate about shoes. My house is like some giant closet because I just put them wherever they’ll fit.”

James M”

“hiya Spicy,
was torn up today when i read the email from Brandi about poor little peyton getting killed…since i wasnt around to send you money when you had the big bill with go(dropdead)daddy,is there anything we could do for Brandi?maybe replace peyton? i know very little about dogs,so if a replacement would be incredibly expensive i couldnt do that(im just a poor retired old fart),but id be willing,if maybe other readers would,to donate to a replace peyton fund,if its possible…”
“…ok anyway,hope you made the transformation to the beta deal ok and things run smoothly,if they dont,go jump mr Spicy…stay cool-

JOE”




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Much Love to the UK

Thursday, May 18th, 2006

Thanks for the chuckle Anthony, I seriously laughed my ass off.

Good Afternoon

Its official, now the media have confirmed that they are separating all the talk is now about how much of Pauls hundred of millions fortune, she is going to get. Thought your readers, of which I am one here in the UK, might just find the attached quite funny?

Cheers

Anthony Greenman, Ryde, Isle of Wight, UK

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Spicy’s Mailbox

Wednesday, May 10th, 2006
From: Rebecca Neumann
Mailed-By: cox.net
To: celebritysmack@gmail.com
Date: May 10, 2006 7:54 PM
Subject: I’m such a fan


Dear Spicy,

You probably get so many emails about how great your site is, but I just can’t help myself! I just wanted to thank you for catering to my inner bitch, thus making my day. Your writing is fabulous, and I look forward to your next post. I’m so glad you say what I usually think…

Rebecca N.

———————————————————————-

From: Sherri Maistros

To: CelebritySmack@gmail.com
Date: May 1, 2006 12:27 PM
Subject: rat terriers


“Absolutely addicted to Celebrity Smack, can’t remember how I found it,
but can’t go a day without it. I recently got a rat terrier, yorkshire
terrier mix (a Roarkie). I’ve sent you a picture of my little guy. His
name is Cozy.”

Sherri Maistros


——————————————————————–



From: Donna Humbert Mailed-By: sympatico.ca
To: celebritysmack@gmail.com
Date: Apr 29, 2006 4:48 AM
Subject: Sorry to say…

You had a great site but I don’t visit nearly as much anymore because of your having to preview and approve comments before you post them.
It was A LOT more interesting when you allowed for freedom of expression.
Have a great day!

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Smack Letters

Saturday, April 8th, 2006

Since being gone for the past few weeks, I have received quite a few emails, both naughty and nice.
I don’t have time to email everyone back, but I figured I could post a few here and you could comment.
Let’s start with my favorite email this month, and possibly of
all time..


Subject: (no subject)
Date: 3/24/2006 10:18:54 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: crazytlazyme@yahoo.com


‘”BITCH you got a lot of muthafuckin nerve sittin up here callin lil kim and monique hoes. U don’t understand cause they goin through real shit while yo white ass sittin at home watchin laguna bitch and eatin fritos. THAT”S WHY WHITE MUTHAFUCKAS LIKE U AIN”T GOT SHIT cause you selfish and soooooooooooooooooooooooooo

fuckin stupid bitch you THE HOE NOT KIM BITCH”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subject: Just a theory…
Date: 4/4/2006 10:24:52 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: (protected)@yahoo.com



“Hey Spicy,

I have a question…totally on Tom & Katie…whaddaya think about the possibility that they are getting the swimming pool or some other water containing device to prepare for the birth? Seems pretty likely that it would be the MOST silent it could POSSIBLY be, especially if they all wore scuba masks with just the little ‘J” airtube thingy and NO OXYGEN tanks of course…she could be weighted down to a certain level therefore her tube could still stick out and she could breathe, she wouldn’t scream for fear of drowning! Remember Kelly Preston and John Travolta? They were gonna do it but she SCREAMED for the epidural after trying for so long and eventually gave birth outta the water…such HYPOCRITES if you ask me, they had the son with Kawasaki’s disease and the “we don’t like drugs, vitamins cure all” Scientology crap went out the window, bitch took her kid to EVERY LEADING DR. SHE COULD and along the way, medical tests, drugs, and ANYTHING she could get to help cure it or control it, she shoulda just increased his dosage of Flintstones vitamins huh? I may sound harsh, I would have done the same for any of mine, BUT it just seems kinda lame to not practice what you preach don’t you think? Just a thought, watch Katie and Tom try that, I betcha they do, my idea is far fetched but you never know!”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To: celebritysmack@gmail.com

Date: Mar 22, 2006 4:58 AM

Subject: Mariah Carey



Hey

Here are a few thoughts about Mariah Carey,from a single male perspective ;
I think she immensely disturbed mentally and whether it is a combinations of childhood and life experienced traumas will not change those facts.I mean disturbed compare to most overall acknowledged and accepted ways of behavioral interactions as well as state of mind, for 2006 of course this may and will change with time.
From her point of view we are probably the disturbed ones .
Mariah is amazingly talented and extremely gifted in terms of the frequency range that her voice can reach and sustained and the way she can modulate and shape it to will .
Mariah is NOT the best singer in the world ,in fact at low output her voice is rather nasal and has overtones that are sibilant and somewhat dull and uncontrolled ,overall she is at best when she is powering it up and using the attributes mentioned above.
I have not heard all of her work nor do i care to and is only based on extremely little informations and samples of her work and this is only one aspect of one musician opinion.
Mariah is also an amazingly gifted performer on stage whether you love her work or not this can not be denied and the fact that she is almost nude most of the time is for most male ,heaven.
Mariah chooses to waste what seems to be an fabulous potential with POP,HIP-HOP and RAP crap that constantly redefine the word and are overall as meaningless ,redundant ,worthless and musically inert as music can be.
Mariah chose extreme wealth over pure amazing talent ,integrity and originality just to state a few characteristic a true musician and/or singer must possess at the core and beyond everything.
Mariah chose to associate herself with one of the most powerful Mafia in the world ,the African -American and the Black Music industry has tendrils just about everywhere and as long as you are in you will be promoted and protected because with so much money and power you can force ,change and manipulate minds and shape opinions in what is such feeble,uneducated,impressionable, as easy as can be to manipulate ,and mostly braindead society and individuals .

Mariah is always surrounded by what seems to be the most talentless, useless, parasitic, absolutely no sign of any intelligence individuals ever !
Mariah also chooses to exposed as much of her body as she can ,whether as she claims to be who she is or because she knows that to compensate for the total lack of substance in her work, sex will sell anything. She is creaming it for all its worth and i am creaming her for all i am worth, all the time (LOL).
I will give all credits and will acknowledge any forms of ultimate talents or genius in any individuals but the questions that i will also address are ;
Is it in an useless fields and solely for ones benefit ?
Are there as great social , moral,logical and rational values attached to it as the talent and genius behind it.
Is it worth anything overall?
Is it relevant to any degree to the field or related Fields it is rooted in?
etc
I agree with some of what you said and although i do not agree with almost everything Mariah does, i absolutely love her looks and every part of her blissful body from head to her toes, which i cream all the time .

All the best
Dean


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To: celebritysmack@gmail.com

Date: Apr 3, 2006 9:27 AM

Subject: help, Vegas Bound!!



I love your site!! I live in Middle America, MO, and try to keep up w/all the great celeb gossip and your site totally rocks!! Anyway, Ive seen in your postings that you love Vegas, and my husband and I and a few other couples are going in May, and I really really want to go to the best clubs. Ive been checking online, but it seems like every review is very bias, also we dont want to spend a years salary to get in and have fun, well I would, but my hubby not so much! If you can give me any pointers I would appreciate it, Im sure your totally busy, but I thought Id try, thanks! Congrats on your new house!

Casey V.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyone help Casey out? I love Vegas, but am not much for ‘clubbing’ these days.
-Spicy

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