Robert Pattinson admits that he stinks.

Literally.

The teen heartthrob recently dished that he doesn’t change his clothes very often, and it sounds like he isn’t a fan of the shower either. He told UK’s New! magazine:

“These jeans are a few days old. But the top is probably fresh because it gets to the point where even I can’t stand the air around me. I don’t know, my personal hygiene, it’s so disgusting!”

Girls, listen to me, a man who doesn’t smell good, pass that sh*t up!

Rob, watch out buddy. Pretty soon you might have more flies after you than girls.

[Photo: © BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM]

Well, now ya know.

I usually HATE forwarded emails but o.m.g., this one had me laughing out loud. Sick and disgusting, yes, but incredibly amusing at the same time.

Happy Monday.

Balloon Boy vomits on the Today Show, 10/16/2009

It seems the stress has gotten to “balloon boy,” who couldn’t keep his breakfast down during a live interview with Ann Curry on the Today Show.

It’s a pretty awesome clip, really. The vomiting happens completely out of the blue, and call me warped, but it was a pleasant surprise. It just adds to the whole ridiculousness of the situation. If this family is trying to pull one over on us, karma is certainly not making it easy for them.

Heh.

[To skip right to the good stuff, go to 5:50.]

Marilyn Manson told us last week about having caught Swine Flu, so you’d think he’d be a little careful when it comes to spreading the disease.

Not so. While performing at a show in Ottawa Sunday, the rocker was filmed blowing snot rockets at the audience. During “The Beautiful People,” nonetheless.

As he empties each nostril you hear the audience gasp like, “What the f**!” I don’t think even the biggest MM fans want to be wearing his mucous.

Oh Dita, what ever did you see in him?

Melissa Weber, a social studies teacher at a Queens middle school, has been arrested for having sex with one of her students.

Weber, 27, began seducing the 14-year-old boy beginning on April 13th and it continued until May 14th. Within that time the pair met on seven different occasions.

Their secret was discovered after the boy’s mother, a PTA member, overheard a rumor about her son and the teacher possibly having sexual relations. The mother looked through her son’s cell pone and discovered numerous text messages from Weber. One of the messages asked the boy to erase what she had sent him for fear of her losing her teaching license or going to jail.

Thursday morning mom marched her son into the police department with the phone evidence in hand.

Weber is now in jail and is waiting to be arraigned on charges of rape and sexual abuse. If convicted she faces up to seven years in prison.

[CN]

Britney Spears might be in the midst of her big comeback, but she is still a bit of a trainwreck.

The pop star just did a photo shoot for Elle magazine and just like the time she did that OK! magazine shoot where she got dog poop on a designer gown, she managed to fudge up another dress.

The source said, “They dressed her in all these beautiful couture clothes, and, well, let’s just say she forgot what time of the month it was. It wasn’t pretty.”

Oh Britney. The tampon string disaster last month and now this. Her last two periods haven’t gone well. Let’s just hope she doesn’t go for the trifecta.

[NYP]

Nikki Cox’s lips definitely look different than they did  in 2003!

Just how much plastic surgery do you think she has had? Boobs, nose, lips, botox…?

I can’t get over that fish mouth! It’s like her mouth is turned inside out!

Not hot, sweetheart!

[Getty Images / Bauer-Griffin.com]

Gah! Sometimes technology is not so grand.

It looks like the cotton rocket got his 15 seconds of fame. That bloody little bastard…

You know, just because I have chosen to not have a child in my lifetime, some people like to label me as a child hater, selfish or whatever else.

But on the contrary, I do like kids. I’ve just never felt the desire to give birth and to be responsible for another human being. Or to go through the actual birthing process.

To me, mothers are a completely different species than I. I look at them and wonder how they do it. I admire their selflessness and patience. But I also appreciate my sleep and my freedom.

So back to the other species thing..

Being as I am not familiar with giving birth or having babies, I found it shocking and a little gross that some mothers will consume their baby’s placenta after giving birth in hopes of warding off postpartum depression and contracting their uterus. I have heard of planting the placenta under a tree, like Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves did, but eating it? Unfathomable in my book.

Chrissy Schilling gave birth this past weekend and she and her twin sister decided they would eat the placenta. Chrissy seemed in awe that her body made this organ on it’s own and she said she did not want it to go to waste.

So after her late night birth her sister froze it and two nights later they had a placenta feast.

They cleaned it, chopped it and cooked it up. They made a placenta sandwich and placenta pasta. Then they took pics and shared them with friends on Facebook.

Chrissy claims that “a belly full of placenta” helped her dizzy spells go away and cured a myriad of other physical ailments she was having. She also claims it has boosted her spirits and given her strength.

So, my question to you is, would you eat your baby’s placenta?

I think this has the makings of a really good Stephen King novel. Heh.

Read more about the joyous placenta eater here.