Elizabeth Lambert during BYU – New Mexico University Soccer Game

Elizabeth Lambert is one dirty soccer player.

Check out the video of this cheap-shot throwing mean girl! She is a terror on that field! Soccer might be a competitive, tough game, but there is no reason to do what this bitch is doing out there on the soccer field! One thing is for sure, do NOT turn your back on this crunt!

Ya know, it’s really easy to take someone down when they aren’t expecting it. Did you see her pull the ponytail of that Audrina Patridge look-a-like? She almost ripped her head off! And she did it so violently, she could have really done some damage!

A player should not be allowed to roam the soccer field pulling sh*t like this. Someone needs to take this girl down in a dark alley when she least expects it. Where’s Jeff Gillooly when you need him? If we can’t cough him up, I’ll be glad to step in!

Rihanna GMA video

Rihanna on Good Morning America this morning.

Watch Rihanna’s interview with Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America, in case you missed it!

“Horny”

I am a huge fan of independent short films and happened across this one on the Independent Film Channel the other day.

What makes men horny? Well, pretty much anything. Not that we didn’t know this, but I think you’ll enjoy this clip, it gives a glimpse into that mysterious organ, the man’s brain. Er…or his something.

I HAD to share this clip. It is hilarious! And TOTALLY so how men think, right? (Not that we are angels either, ladies!)

A MUST WATCH! I promise, you will love this.

Check out more *Tales of Mere Existence here.

*Spicy recommended!

William Shatner reads Levi Johnston’s Tweets on Late Night with Conan O’Brien

Even though William Shatner rubs me the wrong way sometimes, he’s also funny as hell.

Conan opens the clip poking fun at  Levi Johnston, calling him a douche and explaining that Levi is a big Twitter user. (Funny thing is, all Levi Johnston’s Twitter accounts are fake, that I know of.) So Conan says that Johnston’s tweets are “like poetry.” So, who better to read the Twitter updates in true beatnik-like fashion than Mr. Shat?

Some of the supposed tweets are hysterical:

“Anybody know where I can get some good weed?”

“Is it true that fat kids never get kidnapped?”

“You know you’re a celebrity when strangers want to see your penis.”

Of course they aren’t as funny when you simply read them. But with that special Shat flair, they’re genius.

Kate Gosselin’s interview with Natalie Morales: VIDEO

Because I am BEYOND over Jon & Kate, and was never even into them in the first place, I am going to simply post this video for those of you who actually care.

If anyone wants to watch the entire video and do a write up for me let me know. I’m done with these two.

Brandon Spikes eye gouges Washaun Ealey: Video

Let’s take a break from all the Halloween costumes to show you something that will probably piss you off.

I love college football, and I hate to see anything like this happen. Brandon Spikes, a linebacker for Florida, intentionally gouges the eye of Georgia’s running back, Washaun Ealey at the end of a play. Dirty, ruthless and appalling. Anyone who intentionall does something like this needs to be reprimanded. It’s not that much different than Legarrette Blount of the Oregon Ducks popping that Boise State guy in the kisser at the beginning of the season.

Brandon Spikes needs to suffer some consequences here as well. So far, nothing has happened, but since the video of him gouging the eyes of Washaun have gone viral I have a feeling that might change very soon. Hopefully. Assh*le deserves it!

Red Hot Chili Peppers’ John Frusciante singing the Bee Gees’ “How Deep is Your Love.”

John’s acoustic cover of the the 1977 disco ballad was filmed during the Stadium Arcadium tour in 2006. John often performed the song during the tour. I’m posting this because I only heard it yesterday but fell in love with it immediately. I wanted to share.

Besides, John is an amazing performer and is such a success story. He’s been clean since 1998, but once had a terrible heroin addiction that nearly killed him. [Watch Frusciante high out of his mind in 1994] In the height of his addiction he had abscesses all over his arms from shooting smack and cocaine and nearly died of a blood infection resulting from the wounds.

John was friends with Johnny Depp and Butthole Surfers’ Gibby Haynes who actually went to his home in 1994 and filmed a short documentary called ‘Stuff’. It was a look into Frusciante’s home, the home of a heroin addict and extreme recluse. It was littered with garbage and junk and the walls covered in scratchings and drawings. [Watch the short documentary here.] The house later burned down in a fire. John narrowly escaped and suffered severe burns. The film has an eerie soundtrack, music from Frusciante’s solo album, Niandra Lades and Usually Just a T-Shirt. He was strung out on heroin when he recorded it.

For the past 11 years John has been clean and is now thought to be one of the best guitarists of all time. In fact, Roling Stone named him as #18 of the “100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time” in 2003.

Britney Spears’ 3 video

Britney Spears’ new video for ‘3′ was officially released today much to the excitement of Britney’s fans.

Ok, so what did you think? Because I don’t think Britney has it anymore. Not hating, but she can’t move like she used to – nor can she sing. The song sounds like a robotic Britney. Gawd, I wish auto tune would die.

The video kinda sucks, too. I mean, it reminds me of that awful “comeback” where sausage-bellied Britney wore the sequined bra and panties.

The idea of Britney getting pummeled from both ends doesn’t exactly appeal to me either. Just sayin’. Heh.

Chris Farley & David Spade in a recent Direct TV commercial [video]

When I first saw the Direct TV commercial starring David Spade and the late Chris Farley, I smiled, I laughed, and I missed Chris.

I don’t remember what I was doing when the commercial came on, I am generally multi-tasking always, but I know that the commercial had my attention from the very get go. Forget Direct TV, it was Chris Farley making us laugh again.

It’s a feel good commercial and when it comes on I stop what I’m doing and watch, everytime. But some people are offended by it. And you know those are probably the same people that are making “Michael Jackson autopsy photo” one of the hottest searches on Google right now. Serious.

(Ok, not all of you, don’t go all spider monkey on my ass!)

I’d like to poll some of you and see what Smack readers think about the subject. I’m curious to see if I am in the minority here. Do YOU think the commercial is offensive?