R. Kelly’s trial is finally underway after 6 years of his attorneys successfully delaying the court process.

Opening arguments were Tuesday and Kelly’s legal team claims that the man in the video couldn’t possibly be their client as he has a prominent mole on his back. They claim the mole has been there since Kelly’s childhood. No mole is seen on the back of the man appearing in the video.

Mole-y! Mole-y! Mole-y!!

“There is no mole on his back,” said Sam Adam Jr., a member of Kelly’s defense team. “Robert Kelly is not on that tape. Not a single witness can tell you that is him on the tape.”

The girl in the questionable film, who is now of legal age, also claims that it’s not her in the video. The defense says that woman is actually a prostitute seen accepting money at the beginning and end of the video.

The couple engage in sexual acts on a bearskin rug and later the female dances and calls the male, “Daddy.”

Prosecutors claim the video was set up by R. Kelly and could have longterm effects on the victim. “A child doesn’t choose to be violated and placed on a videotape, a videotape that will live on forever - long after this child becomes an adult,” Cook County prosecutor Shauna Boliker said.

Kelly faces 15 years in prison if convicted.

John Mater Mayer has been putting the wood to Jennifer Aniston, and according to reports, her mood has finally changed for the better.

One source described Jennifer’s new attitude, “She’s just so happy and giggly. It is completely out of character.” Well, yeah, he’s finally getting some!

So why exactly is Jen on Cloud 9? Because according to John’s exes, he has a “certain feature” that is amazing. And watch out - he also knows how to use it. One of his exes said, “His body actually is a wonderland.”

Enjoy the ride, Jen, because once John gets bored he moves on. I think he might just be ‘taking one for the team’ here. Heh. I wonder how long it will be before he and Kate Hudson hook up?

[Photo: TMZ]

Whose ass is looking a little lumpy?

Find out after the cut! (more…)

Paris Hilton, who is pretty much the one responsible for bringing Kim Kardashian to the media’s attention, made fun of her friend while being interviewed on a Las Vegas radio station yesterday.

She said,

“I would not want [Kim's butt] - it’s gross! It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag.”

Bwahaha. Awesome visual.

Paris later realized that she had made a mistake by saying such a thing publicly and said to In Touch magazine, “I was just joking around and I made a stupid joke. I felt really bad afterward, so I contacted Kim and apologized. It was a silly thing to say. Kim’s hot!”

Kim has been a good sport and apparently accepts Paris’ apology. “Paris and I have been friends since we were kids and I’m glad she made the effort to say she’s sorry.”

Roseanne Barr, who has always been known for being a real class act, was on Craig Ferguson last night and as usual managed to shock the audience and gave the nation something to talk about.

Rosenanne told Craig and the live audience that she had ‘vaginal rejuvenation‘ because, you know, she’s single and has an old hooch she’s trying to pawn off on someone. Can you blame her?

She called her new asset the ‘va-junior‘ and warned that she isn’t afraid to use it.

Yes, it’s funny, but I wouldn’t take her too seriously!

Lara Flynn Boyle has never looked so freakish!

In this pic taken recently and published by Daily Mail you can see how something terrible has happened to her face. I’m not sure if it’s surgery gone bad - or a bizarre medical condition, but it looks awful.

Her cheekbones are hidden behind her puffy/droopy cheeks and her lips have obviously been overly inflated.  The entire lower half of her face has been altered.  She looks like she just had all of her wisdom teeth pulled out or something.  Creepy!

See who it is after the cut!

(more…)