Gwyneth Paltrow has launched a new website where she tells you how inspiring she can be to you.

She named it, GOOP.

Each of the sections are named “Make,” “Go,” “Get,” “Do,” “Be,” and “See,” and every one you click on has the same “life lesson” straight to you from Gwyneth.

“My life is good because I am not passive about it. I want to nourish what is real, and I want to do it without wasting time. I love to travel, to cook, to eat, to take care of my body and mind, to work hard. I love being a mother who has to overcome my bad qualities to be a good mother. I love being in spaces that are clean and feel nice.”

“Make your life good. Invest in what’s real. Cook a meal for someone you love. Pause before reacting. Clean out your space. Read something beautiful. Treat yourself to something. Go to a city you’ve never been to. Learn something new. Don’t be lazy. Workout and stick with it. GOOP. Make it great.”

I love her bold statement at the end. “GOOP.” Like she is trying to coin a new term.

It’s all about the goop, bitches. Who knew it would be so simple?

But then again being born into wealth and fame, marrying it, and hanging out with Oprah and Madonna might have had something to do with it too.

[Us]

Is there another Pamela Anderson sex tape looming on the horizon?

A German site is claiming that Pammy was videotaped during a sex romp with a man last March.  At the time she was in Europe on tour with magician Hans Klok. In case you didn’t know, Pam was working as his assistant.

The man she apparently boinked was just a regular joe-schmo who worked on the set of the show.

I wouldn’t put it past Pam, who likes to party and well, you know, have sex with anyone. I also wouldn’t put it past her to release her own tape.  She’s not getting any younger and her ego (among other things) isn’t getting any smaller.

Look how she hooked up with her last husband, Rick Salomon. She apparently paid off a gambling debt with her vagina, then told the world about it. Classy broad.

If the tape is real, we’ll know soon enough. But do we really care?

So apparently Jennifer Lopez isn’t as strong of a triathalon athlete as the gossip rags have been portraying.

Splash news is reporting that she “almost drowned” while swimming through the Nautica Triathlon.

The waves were to high for her as she started to submerge and was left missing for a couple of seconds until her trainer helped her out. When she reached enough depth where she could stand on her feet she gave a big smile showing relief.

Well, I’m not surprised.  Try filling your pants with and anvil then swimming any great distance!

Let me add that while I think finishing any triathlon is commendable, I’m not above listing the other well known celebs who beat J. Lo’s ass.

Malibu Mayor Pamela Conley Ulich, with a time of 01:53, Heather Tom finished with 2:00, Eliza Dushku  with 2:22, and Emily Warfield also finished with 2:22.

Instead of endorsing ProActiv or Pizza Hut (heh) she’s endorsing beer!

Jessica Simpson is the new face of a local Dallas brewing company’s beer called, Stamp Peen Bite Puss Stampede Light Plus, a beer that proudly boasts of it’s vitamin content.

The Dallas’ Stampede Brewing Co. has hired Simpson to appear in their ads and be their new spokesperson. But not only is Jessica the new face of the beer, she’s part owner. She has a 15% stake in the brewery.

Sales of the beer have reportedly doubled in the last year, and now with Simpson on board, they are expected to skyrocket.

Jessica released the following statement to the media,

“As an entrepreneur, I am always looking for ways to diversify my portfolio with good ideas and good people. Yes, I work out and take care of myself, but I also like a cold beer once in a while.”

I completely forgot that VH1’s ‘New York Goes to Hollywood’ premiered last week!

I missed the breakup of Miss Tiffany Pollard and her boytoy ‘Tailor Made‘ [George Weisgerber]. I’m sure I didn’t miss much. I’m a little sick of the ho.

In case you missed it too, here is the couple’s fight that was supposed to be so dramatic – but really, is boring and seemingly scripted.

Did anyone catch the show in it’s entirety? Can anyone even stand to watch this bitch anymore?

And in news that you could really give a crap about, we have Miley Cyrus proclaiming her love for Nick Jonas and the dramatic heartbreaking end of the relationship in the latest issue of Seventeen magazine.

Miley goes on and on about how much the two young stars liked each other. She even claims that they were in love. Because, you know, they were super mature for their age. i’M, LIke, tOTallY sEriOUs!!!

“We became boyfriend and girlfriend the day we met. He was on a quest to meet me, and he was like, ‘I think you’re beautiful and I really like you.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, my gosh, I like you so much.’”

“Nick and I loved each other. We still do, but we were in love with each other. For two years he was basically my 24/7. But it was really hard to keep it from people. We were arguing a lot, and it really wasn’t fun.”

After the young lovers broke up Miley says it was pretty tough on her. lIkE, maJOrlY…!!!!

“At first I bawled for a month straight. I was so sad. I just went into this weird funk. And I dyed my hair black. When we were dating, Nick wanted me to get highlights – and so I did that, and I got myself looking great. And then, on the day we broke up, I was like, I want to make my hair black now – I don’t want to look pretty; I want to look hard-core. I was rebelling against everything Nick wanted me to be. And then I was like, I’ve got to be by myself for now, and just figure out who I really am.”

Miley says that the break-up has only made her stronger.

“Since [the breakup], I’ve realized that I’ve met so many great guys, but I like being the girl nobody can have,” she says. “No one can touch me, no one’s mine. I’m myself. I think it’s sexy to do your own thing.”

i THinK i JUsT thReW uP In mY MOuth!!!!!!!

“It’s the greatest song of my life,” says Spencer Pratt. So you know it’s going to suck ass . .

John Mayer loves the attention the media gives him – and he loves publicity stunts.

John’s latest cry for the spotlight is him trying to get us to believe he is on HGH. He leaves a medical building with a bag that says “experimental human growth hormones” on the outside of it. Yeah, like doctors write the prescription on the outside of a bag. Now maybe if it said “Medicinal Marijuana” or “Valtrex”, I might believe it…

Watch the video here.

Oh boy. I can see exactly where this show is headed.

Although Dina Lohan claims the new reality series is for the benefit of her daughter Ali’s career, me thinks it’s going to be purely self-serving.

Dina’s acting skills will be put to the test. Acting like the concerned Mother of the Year that she claims to be. Now we can see where Lindsay gets her (lack of) talent.