Well, now ya know.

I usually HATE forwarded emails but o.m.g., this one had me laughing out loud. Sick and disgusting, yes, but incredibly amusing at the same time.

Happy Monday.

In a startling revelation, TMZ has uncovered the intense, mind-boggling, world changing 911 call made from the home of the man who played Shaggy in the Scooby Doo movie after he cut his finger!

Stunning, I know. You might want to sit down in your chair as I give you details, kids.

Shaggy, also known as Nick Palatas, accidentally (although we aren’t 100% sure if foul play was involved yet) cut his finger with a table saw. He told the dispatcher he may have cut it to the bone and that it, “hurt like f**k!” Listen to the 911 call here.

In a stunning turn of events, Nick was able to reach a phone and dial 911. But barely, his finger bled like a bitch. He is lucky to be alive. He might not of lived if it weren’t for those three stitches.

But anyway, this all happened a month ago, so he didn’t die or anything. Thanks TMZ for your amazing investigative research! Impressive!

A 29-year old woman and her significant other intentionally drove through a huge puddle of water, splashing children waiting for a bus on the sidewalk.

The video is pretty funny – as long as it wasn’t your child. Childish, and possibly even dangerous, but funny nonetheless. Those poor, unsuspecting kids really got soaked!

As the couple drive down the hill toward the kids, the woman is heard gigging as the male passenger gives commentary. Both seem extremely jacked to be doing this. They were quite proud of themselves and (stupidly) posted the clip on YouTube.

Once the video went viral, multiple people reported the clip to police. The woman turned herself in voluntarily and has been charged with careless driving.

Lesson #1. Don’t post illegal stuff on YouTube. Time and time again we have seen morons do this. The couple hours it goes viral is not worth being the internet dumb sh*t of the day.

Lesson #2. Kids, don’t stand by the big puddles, huddled in a group just waiting for it to happen!

Ted Williams head abused by ALCOR

Ted Williams frozen head was beaten and abused by employees of Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Scottsdale, AZ.

A new book, “Frozen,” details all the inhumane and horrific things done to frozen human remains as well as live animals at the cryonics lab.

Author Larry Johnson was the chief operating officer for Alcor for a period of eight months. He was outraged at what he saw during this time. In 2003 he went public with details of the atrocities and received death threats. While writing “Frozen” he was forced to stay in hiding. Johnson will be making his first public appearance on ABC’s Nightline on Tuesday.

The barbaric acts which he describes are absolutely hellish. I will warn you, if you have a weak stomach, do not continue reading!

Johnson says that baseball legend Ted Williams’ body was kept at the cryonics lab. He died of leukemia in July 2003 at the age of 83. The company was paid $120,000 to take the body and have it suspended in liquid nitrogen.

At some point, for reasons unknown, an employee, someone who was not a doctor or medical technician, gruesomely decapitated Williams’ frozen head, using “crude equipment” to do so. Holes were drilled in Williams’ skull and microphones were inserted. Then the head was placed on a tuna can in it’s chamber, so it would stand upright. The employee[s] then recorded the sound of the brain cracking sixteen times as temperatures reached -321 degrees Fahrenheit. Later an employee tried removing the tuna can from the head, but it was frozen to it. So the person took a monkey wrench and beat at it, sometimes missing the can and splattering frozen head parts in the room.

Absolutely horrific! But there’s more, and it’s equally as disturbing.

Johnson also says that live dogs were dismembered, pumped full of chemicals and experimented on, and that human blood and toxic chemicals were dumped down a sewer drain.

All disgusting, unimaginable stuff.

The last two months he was employed at Alcor, Johnson wired himself, took photos and stole documents as proof of what he had witnessed. He says that all he really wants is for Ted Williams’ last request be fulfilled. That he might be cremated and “sprinkled at sea off the coast of Florida, where the water is very deep.”

Alcor is denying all Johnson’s allegations and the company has posted the following on their website:

October 2, 2009: Alcor denies allegations reported in the press that there was mistreatment or disrespectful treatment of the remains of Ted Williams at Alcor, and will be litigating this and any other false allegations to the maximum extent of the law. Alcor cannot respond to individual media inquiries at this time.

I have to say this story disgusts and saddens me. People are very loathsome creatures at times. If this story is true I commend Johnson for being brave enough to come forward with it all. I believe him though, how the hell could you make this stuff up? I hope this story gets the attention it deserves because every single one of the people involved should be prosecuted and this company MUST be stopped! I plan on keeping up on this one, and will keep you updated as more details emerge.

Watch Nightline on ABC Tuesday for Larry Johnson’s interview.

Chia’s Special Edition ‘Obama’ Chia Pet

The wonderful folks at Chia have done it again. Introducing the President Obama Chia Pet . . . or Chia “Head”, if you will.

For a whopping $28 (or 2 for $40) you too, can own an Obama Chia of your own!

Can you believe the price on that thing? It’s a packet of cheap seeds and a small, ceramic head. Rip-off! BUT, I kinda want one. Just so I could give him a mohawk or something crazy. One thing is for certain, I’ll never buy one at that ridiculous price!

Ok, so who is going to be the first to say it’s controversial or racist? Because you KNOW someone will..

Visit the Obama Chia website here.

The Duggars are expecting their 19th child

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are set to welcome their 19th child into the world next spring. And you thought Octomom was bad!

By the way, anyone with the name Jim Bob is set to father at least a half dozen children in his lifetime, dontcha think?

Momma Michelle is 42 now, and daddy Jim Bob is 44. The couple aren’t only expecting their 19th child, they are also expecting their first grandchild. Their oldest son Joshua, 21, and his wife will welcome a daughter into the world next month.

“We are so thrilled,” says Michelle. “We just couldn’t believe it is happening.” Jim Bob is equally as giddy: “This never gets old. We are so grateful for each child. We are looking forward to our first grand baby and our 19th child.”

She’s just a sex machine, bitches! I think it’s her hair that totally does it for Jim Bob..

Naomi Campbell is packing underneath that dress!

How do I know? Because she let is all hang out while dancing with her boyfriend Vladislav Doronin at a night club in Saint-Tropez.

No underwear, coked out and classy, as usual.

And we thought Lady Gaga was a hermaphrodite, wait until you get a load of this..! There is something awfully peculiar underneath that skirt.

Photos after the jump, because, well, I wouldn’t do that to you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you..

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Miley Cyrus cherries by Disney, of course!

Hannah Montana cherries anyone?

Disney always has been sneaky with their sexual innuendos. This one though, not so coy.

The child focused company is now marketing the virginal fruit with Miley Cyrus’ face and character, Hannah Montana.

Bad move, Disney.

Disney = PIMP.

[BF]

Mom drags her kid on a leash through a Verizon store

A mother in Rome, Alabama, who was filmed dragging her kid through a store on a leash, has been arrested.

The woman reportedly injured the child as she quickly drug him/her through the store for all to see.

As you can see in the video, the child is completely limp. Whether it is because the kid was rebelling by going limp, or because the child was injured, is not known at this point. But the child did have visible marks around his/her neck.

The mother, Melissa Catherine Smith-Means, 37, was arrested and charged with felony fi More..rst-degree cruelty to a child. She is sitting in jail as we speak….hopefully with a leash around her neck.